Cleaners - any advice?

Sambucus_Nigra

KateLiana27 wrote: »

Same applies. You're an adult, you don't want to do an adult job (clean up after yourself) so you pay someone else to do it out of your own pocket. Great. No problem, no issue.

With the greatest respect Sambucus, I'm suffering from terrible morning sickness and come on here for a bit of distraction and relief, so I'd appreciate if you could please leave me alone for now.

Perhaps people who are also adults and make adult decisions don't want you telling them to get a better man? Which is basically my point...if you don't want to respond to people querying your pronouncements then perhaps don't post them...morning sickness or not. If you don't want people having a go - then reign in on having a go at them first.

The OP wanted advice on finding a cleaner - not to be told to get a new relationship.

HTH.

DKLS

Ensure you hire a cleaner with a diagnosis of OCD, sufferers make excellent cleaners, I could operate in my kitchen after she has been.

tyllwyd

Are you able to be home when the cleaner comes? I've had a few cleaners at different times but I've never been happy giving them keys to the house. The cheapest way to find someone is usually looking for an advert in the local post office. My best advice though is that people seem to do it for a while and then get bored - so when they start making excuses and cancelling all the time save yourselves both the pain and end it sooner rather than letting it drag on!

12sapphire

As an ex-cleaner of private properties can I just say that some ladies would rather lose their husband's than their cleaner

My partner and myself generally quoted 2 hours per week for a 2/3 bedroom house - one of us would spend 1 hour upstairs and one of us an hour downstairs. We worked our socks off and earned our money. One of our clients was particulary tidy so most of our time was spent vaccuuming, polishing, high dusting, washing skirting boards, washing kitchen/utility floors, making beds/changing bed linen, cleaning baths and toilets, cleaning windows. However, most of our clients were untidy and as a consequence a lot of time was spent 'tidying up' and we could only spend the remaining time on the basic cleaning.

Our 'tidy' client would sometimes ask us to forego changing bed linen or wash skirting boards to clean out her kitchen cupboards.

One house we went to, to give a quote, had so many nick nacks which needed to be removed and dusted before polishing and then put back that we would have had no time to do any other cleaning :eek:

Quite often our time was 'bought' as a gift for our client's family or friends.

Before you embark upon the services of a cleaner you need to decide exactly what you want from her (or him)

londonsurrey

themull1 wrote: »

If my property was that small, i would be embarrassed to hire a cleaner!

I wouldn't. What on earth is wrong with having a cleaner just because you want one?

It would be like pointing to all these women in beauty salons having facials, nails done, massages, etc, and saying that they should be embarrassed to be paying out all that money when they could do it for free at home. It also applies to so many other services we buy.

rita-rabbit

GobbledyGook wrote: »

So if he lived himself would he starve on his workdays?

If he works 4 days and you work 5 that means there must be at least 1 or 2 days a week that he won't cook on the basis that he is working, but expects you to do so despite it also being a workday for you.

That's just lazy, rude, selfish and inconsiderate imo. If that's his attitude to things then you may find a cleaner doesn't help any. He may just end up being messier and doing less on the basis that you now have the cleaner to help.

If you do get a cleaner I'd get one by recommendation if possible and if not I'd find an ad or something locally.

Karma is a wonderful thing: yesterday I did what he does on days off reading & relaxing. He arrived late looking dishevelled saying he has phoned to say he was going to be late. His car (which I gave him when I was upgrading) had broken down & cannot be mended - I assumed he would have taken today off as an emergency & then attend a Christening with me - he assumed I would lend him my car to go to work:eek: & get the train (christening is not close to home & neither is his work) - obviously not. You are right he is selfish & I am reconsidering whether to continue with the relationship. I will not get a cleaner. He then rose around 5am to get public transport to work this morning. He is off work again (notice a pattern of weekdays off - I work Mon-Fri) Monday & will have 2 replace said car in order to avoid extremely long commutes. This incidence made my week tbh :jas I am tired of being made to be the horrible one whereas he says he is a nice relaxed person.

The devil finds work for idle hands they say. He can open his wallet or got back to his pre-me days of getting buses & train to work.

I have also now decided my happiness is far too important to sacrifice for `keeping a relationship'. Kids - he is one.

I have also decided to do the cleaning myself (apart from the bath - I take showers but he prefers to soak but not use a cleaning product after use:mad: saying more than once a week cleaning is unnecessary - yes because I have been cleaning it after him each time) but v little cooking - mostly veggie salads so I can get back to my pre-relationship weight.:T

I love the internet - thanks folks - I have remembered my back bone:beer:

rita-rabbit

I made the classic mistake of focussing entirely on `us' & then he began focussing on `him' - alot of women make this mistake unfortunately. Please mothers MAKE your sons pull their weight when growing up - otherwise some poor woman will struggle when they become adults.

belfastgirl23

Good on ya rita

I would just say this often happens in the early days of relationships when there are hot button topics between you.

I'd urge you to keep on the path you're keeping on. Be chilled and relaxed. Don't have big scenes or big talks till he's ready to have them. Just make it clear you won't do everything. If there are things he's likely to notice faster, don't touch them at all. Don't do any of his washing. Don't wash his dishes, just have your own plate, cup and cutlery that you keep separately. I'm afraid you may have to let things get into a bad state. But it's kind of worth it to make the point.

No doubt he will start to complain about the mess or not being able to find a clean cup or whatever. I'd just agree with him and say that it is really dreadful. And if he goes on about it then ask him what he would like to do about it (calmly and politely). Or even 'what do you think we should do about it' if you're feeling charitable. When he mentions the mess, remind him that this is his choice not yours, your first choice was to find a way to manage things between you but he didn't want to do that.

Good luck and please keep us posted!

As a PS we had this sort of at the start of the relationship too although I have to say I was lucky that at least in some things my DH was trained. Washing was his blind spot and he refused to acknowledge it was work and refused to do it. He had a huge wardrobe so I always gave in because I hated having washing lying around. One day I stopped. Eventually he had no clean clothes and had to do some washing. He forgot about it and left it in the machine for days and it stank to high heaven. He gave in soon afterwards. I still do all the washing but he now acknowledges it as part of the division of labour in the house and will hang it out etc if needs be

sunflower_2

rita-rabbit wrote: »

Karma is a wonderful thing: yesterday I did what he does on days off reading & relaxing. He arrived late looking dishevelled saying he has phoned to say he was going to be late. His car (which I gave him when I was upgrading) had broken down & cannot be mended - I assumed he would have taken today off as an emergency & then attend a Christening with me - he assumed I would lend him my car to go to work:eek: & get the train (christening is not close to home & neither is his work) - obviously not. You are right he is selfish & I am reconsidering whether to continue with the relationship. I will not get a cleaner. He then rose around 5am to get public transport to work this morning. He is off work again (notice a pattern of weekdays off - I work Mon-Fri) Monday & will have 2 replace said car in order to avoid extremely long commutes. This incidence made my week tbh :jas I am tired of being made to be the horrible one whereas he says he is a nice relaxed person.

The devil finds work for idle hands they say. He can open his wallet or got back to his pre-me days of getting buses & train to work.

I have also now decided my happiness is far too important to sacrifice for `keeping a relationship'. Kids - he is one.

I have also decided to do the cleaning myself (apart from the bath - I take showers but he prefers to soak but not use a cleaning product after use:mad: saying more than once a week cleaning is unnecessary - yes because I have been cleaning it after him each time) but v little cooking - mostly veggie salads so I can get back to my pre-relationship weight.:T

I love the internet - thanks folks - I have remembered my back bone:beer:

wow

i wasnt expecting to read this at the end of this thread.

my DH is v old fashioned when it comes to housework - with comments such as "i have emptied the dishwasher for you" :eek:

i do however get quite a large allowance from him & accept this readily - therefore dont feel i can really complain, even tho i do work 4 days a week

i was also thinking about hiring a cleaner - so was interested in this thread

not sure how i feel about your decision rita-rabbit

part of me is :beer:, the other is :shocked:

xxx

Sambucus_Nigra

rita-rabbit wrote: »

I made the classic mistake of focussing entirely on `us' & then he began focussing on `him' - alot of women make this mistake unfortunately. Please mothers MAKE your sons pull their weight when growing up - otherwise some poor woman will struggle when they become adults.

Your situation is not about getting a cleaner - it's about sorting out your relationship overall.