why is he doing this

caeler

I became very secretive in your situation. I rented for a while but I felt like he still knew everything about me. Eventually I went on to buy a house but I waited until we were divorced (took 2 years as I refused to consent to release the funds from the sale of the house).

You need to take control on this one. How long have you been seperated? If you've been living apart for 5 years you don't need his consent.

woody2234

op says "we managed to sell the house and have no children,i have now moved on " okay

1 but how much did you get and did you keep the money or split 50 50
2 did you take the money and do a runner and thats why he is playing games
3 if not then hire private detective 2 find his address and play games

custardy

claire16c wrote: »

I get the control thing - but I dont get why hes doing this - because if hes not getting any of his cards how on earth is he doing any banking?

Anyway I agree with the above about calling the fraud line, and tell them someone who does not live with you is having their banking stuff delivered there and using your address.

but he has an active account
he could be using it for an overdraft facility and then transfering to money to another account
for example

kayleeoo

hi all thanks for the exellent advice,the house was split 50/50,i cut his cards up before retuning them to the bank,i will call the fraud department today,im also going to start divorce procceedings again.and check my credit files.thanks again.

Mr_Toad

snozberry wrote: »

write 'return to sender' on the envelope and pop them back into the postbox. He will soon get the hint.

How exactly if they aren't writing to his address will he get the hint?

He's probably using on-line banking and as the OP suspects has given her address for the statements he doesn't need to let her know that he knows where she lives and to annoy her.

She should ring the bank and explain what's going on.

marisco_2

So your husband had an affair and left you and yet refuses to sign divorce papers allowing you to get on with your life as you choose. You have no idea where he is yet he has arranged for his bank statements and debit cards to be sent to your address.

He is definately trying to control you and mess with your head. Are there any mutual friends you have or members of his family that could let you know where he is? If I were you I would be contacting a solicitor, tracking him down and getting a strongly worded letter sent to him telling him to stop trying to link you to his life in any way. After a certain amount of time I think you can press forward with a divorce without the need for the other party to sign anything. A solicitor could advise on this.

So sorry for all you are going through.

jess-the-cat_3

Didn't notice if anyone had already said this but is it possible he is mistakenly thinking that if he gets his bank stuff and credit card stuff sent to your address that any debt he is accruing will be half your responsibility as you are still married?

This is why it might be a good idea to check your credit file in case he's made the next step of trying to open anything in your name.

Just_Plain_Jane

I wonder if in his own twisted way he's trying to make it look like you're still living together so that you won't be able to divorce him on the grounds of separation?

Yorkie1

Just wondering whether the bank can be obliged to release the address of the ex under the data protection act - needed for court proceedings?

GobbledyGook

How long have you been in your new house? Could it be that he set up a mail redirection that has now run out?

You need to disassociate yourself sharpish from him - especially if you claim things like the 25% single person discount on council tax so that it doesn't look like he lives there when he doesn't.