To people with kids...

neneromanova

Your so called "traditional" way, isn't traditional at all

Back in medieval times, men used to knock women up then marry them, as if they couldn't have babies and carry on their name, then the women were useless to them. It's only recently with "god" that it's been get married, have babies.

Anyway. I had just had DD1 just as I met OH so I couldn't really marry him before :rotfl: and then DD2 came along and we thought it would be easier when DD2 was of an age where she was walking an easier to cope with....I was wrong. lol. We should have done it last year or something. :rotfl:

As for the Honeymoon, my parents are looking after the girls for a week luckily so we get to go away alone Going to be lush, but I know i'll miss them like mad.

Tillymama

I've 2 children and my partners in the army. He's only just moved back from being based in Germany so it seemed a good time now to get married so we can live together.
My children are 2 and a half and 8 months. It's not been that difficult planning the wedding as I've loved choosing there adorable morning suits. We aren't having a honey moon, we are sending our wedding night in a hotel whilst my Parents have the boys... But it's only 3 miles away lol.

wendz86

I always wanted to get married and have kids but having kids was always the most important thing and when OH wanted to start trying i went for it.I wasn't going to wait forever for him to ask me to marry me and wanted to be a young mum. After we had her i didn't even think about marriage so being proposed to was a total shock but the best thing ever and now i can't wait to marry him.

I haven't found it stressful planning the wedding so far but we haven't got that far yet. Our DD will be 2 when we get married and will be flowergirl. She is also coming on honeymoon with us, it is not the same as a normal honeymoon obviously but we both don't want to leave her.

katie1812

Found this really interesting to read! I know a few people with kids, and a few people married. Someone I know moved their wedding forward when they found out they were pregnant.

I had always wanted to get married before having children. I know things happen but obviously everyone has their 'ideal perfect world' and in mine it was marriage then children. I want to have a few years of being married before having kids. I absolutely love children, my job is working with kids, and although I think we are ready emotionally, we want to be a bit more financially stable before having kids.

Each to their own, it's what makes the world go round

ktb

I'm somewhat in this quandary at the moment, so is interesting to see all the posts. My OH & I are madly in love and want to do it all; house, marriage, kids etc.... Although neither of us are massively traditional, our plan was to get married towards end of next year and then start trying for a family.

However, I am 33 y/o with quite severe endometriosis, fibroids, ovarian cysts and hormone issues, which my Dr has, on numerous occasions, warned may well cause me problems with the babies bit. A couple of weeks ago, my OH suggested we stop trying NOT to have a baby sooner rather than later, as there is no point waiting another 18 months to even start trying, with my medical history in mind. We know 100% we are in it for life, so logistically does it REALY matter if we get married before or after having our family? I thought he had a fair point although given the choice, minus health issues, I would still rather do the wedding first personally. If it takes a long time to conceive we may well end up doing just that anyway!

I was at my parent's wedding (Mum was 7 months preggers) and they are still very much an item and my brother is about to have a baby with his girlfriend.... so there is certainly no pressure for family to go the more traditional route, I just liked the idea of the 'newlywed' time alone, but if it is that or leaving it too late for babies, there is no contest.

kacy1988

i always thought/ felt that i personnally would get married then have children

however my eldest was a suprise, we then decided to wait until our family was complete before getting married, if one of our children would be at our wedding i wanted them both to be (we only planned to have two) but i wanted the little one to walk down the aisle as a page boy

so we are getting married this month our boys are 5 and 16 months

i would happily just have changed my name by deed poll so we all had the same name. however my lovely bloke wanted to make an honest woman of me at last

only 23 days to go!!

Stephb1986_2

I want to comment but I really really don't want anyone to take offence to it so if I put it wrong I really really don't mean to upset anyone.

My opinion about people having a massive wedding once they have kids is that the money could be better spent elsewhere in the sense of you could just have a registry office and a lovely family holiday or a registry office and put the rest of the money towards a family home or decorating a home if you already have one or could be spent on the kids.

I really hope no one takes offence to it, I just see that it's a lot of money for one big party when it could be better spent else where

Steph xx

emma.b

i have 2 children 6yr and 12yr been engaged for 12yrs i fell pegnant when i was 17 and just kept on putting the wedding off because the expense of it (would rather spent any spare money on the kids) but after finding MSE we found we can still get married but MSE style .I am mainly tying the knot so we can be a proper family unit i feel the odd one out with a different surname.

emma.b

Stephb1986 wrote: »

I want to comment but I really really don't want anyone to take offence to it so if I put it wrong I really really don't mean to upset anyone.

My opinion about people having a massive wedding once they have kids is that the money could be better spent elsewhere in the sense of you could just have a registry office and a lovely family holiday or a registry office and put the rest of the money towards a family home or decorating a home if you already have one or could be spent on the kids.

I really hope no one takes offence to it, I just see that it's a lot of money for one big party when it could be better spent else where

Steph xx

i totally agree that is what i'm doing reg office with my 2 children and parents on both sides then a MSE style party in the evening

mildred1978

emma.b wrote: »

i have 2 children 6yr and 12yr been engaged for 12yrs i fell pegnant when i was 17 and just kept on putting the wedding off because the expense of it (would rather spent any spare money on the kids) but after finding MSE we found we can still get married but MSE style .I am mainly tying the knot so we can be a proper family unit i feel the odd one out with a different surname.

a) the marriage bit need only cost a couple of hundred quid

b) you can call yourself anything you like without being married


I've been married 8 years and have a son. I don't share his or my husband's surname (but he has my surname as a middle name). We were married 6 years before having him. We had a great time seeing the world and building our life before feeling ready to have a child.