DS cant swim or ride bike at 7yrs.. am i worrying for nothing?

JC9297

lika_86 wrote: »

Also, he won't learn to swim at school, none of the non-swimming kids at my school ever graduated beyond the shallow end to doing lanes, just like I never learnt to sew at school even though we had textiles lessons, if you want him to swim then it'll have to be a home effort I think, make it fun though, don't get mad at him, he'll just resent it.

I teach year 3 non-swimmers and whilst they'll probably never progress to the top group most of them do learn to swim.


OP the school won't expect all of the children to be able to swim, if they could there would be no need for the school to offer lessons.


We take our year 3s in the summer term , 5 weeks for each class. In the class that started after Easter I only had four non-swimmers, two of them from cultures that don't generally go swimming. In the class that just finished their set of lessons there were nine non-swimmers.


So yes there will be some who have been having lessons for years and are strong, technically good swimmers, but there will be others like your son. There are usually some children who I would have expected to have had lessons but haven't.


I would suggest when your husband takes him he shouldn't try to get him to do things, just let him play and get comfortable in the water and be happy to put his face in.

bigmomma051204

meritaten wrote: »

excuse me - but I couldnt help noticing in your post that your son says he is scared of the bike, also that he is taken swimming and wont follow instructions, which frustrates you.

Have you considered that the child may actually BE scared of riding the bike? you say he will love it, he says he is scared. you seem to dismiss this fear as of no consequence. He isn't scared of it... he simply doesnt want to LEARN..he believes that if you cant do it the first time, you wont be able to ever do it. His words lol... We have had TONS of patience with him....we have been trying at various intervals with the bike for the last 4 years... he has owned 2 bikes which he never rode and got sold as he outgrew them! I dont dismiss his fear whatsoever BUT i do know my child - he uses similar excuses as to why he cant do his literacy homework ie his wrists ache etc etc... when on the bike it is "i cant pedal as my legs ache too much" and even when asked to simply place his feet onto the pedals, he say that he cant...yes, even when i am holding the bike and there is NO fear element whatsoever! He will cry and cry but the second you say "ok, would you like to give up?" he will say "yes, can i go and play on DS" and the tears are gone in an instant - and they are total crocodile tears......i do know my child! :cool:

your child was swimming when your parents took him - once learned never forgotten! are you sure you want him to be able to swim or do you think his classmates will be better than him? Couldnt give two hoots if they are BETTER than him, i just would like him not to get bullied for being unable to even swim a stroke and for him to be able to learn a skill which could save his life!

as for the bike - I can ride a bike, JUST! I also had a parent who gave me so many tips and safety instructions and then expected me to remember those and ride the ruddy bike and keep my balance and watch out for dogs, kids, traffic - I hated it! I much preferred to go home and read books! Yep - that was me too with the "helpful" parent.... BUT i did have a GO and i learnt in the end... and loved it. I also loved reading too

are you sure you are doing this for your sons sake or yours? he may think he swims adequately for his needs and has no wish to ride a bike at all! He doesnt think he swims adequately - he doesnt swim AT ALL. He refuses to have a go even.... so perhaps he could be in the Olympics but we wouldnt know as he will not TRY.

I am just thinking back to when I was a kid! my parents thought me wierd cos I loved books, had no interest in sports or even playing games with other kids - I preferred my solitary life and resented being pushed into 'activities' my parents thought best for me. I dont push him or at least i try not to....BUT i do think it is unhealthy that ALL he says he wants to do is play with a playstation or on his DS, alone. He enjoys playing with other children.... An example of how he is: he is playing on playstation .... i say "shall we go to Legoland?" Now, even though he desperately wants to go to Legoland, at THAT point in time, he would say "no" because all he can see is wanting to play on the playstation ie the activity he is currently doing.

PS - I still dislike swimming (think I may have been a cat in a former life - hate being dunked in water)! and wouldnt ride a bike unless there was no other transport available. I just dont feel safe on them!

I love water and i would love to be able to swim. I dont mind if he doesnt LOVE swimming lol, but i do think it is an important life skill. Once he can swim even just a width, that'll do!!

freddie_2

bigmomma051204 wrote: »

Hiya - unfortunately in the rural area we live, the one pool within reach only does lessons after school (3:30pm) which apart from struggling to get there in time due to the distance, cost £22 per lesson as i mentioned earlier and they make you have a lesson per week - at £88 per month, i simply cannot afford to do this Also, the waiting list for these lessons is currently 8 months long (his name is on it just in case i come into a fortune lol) :(

But if you are at work who is looking after your son, you are either paying for childcare or he is with family. if with family can they not take him, if you are paying for childcare then maybe your child missing out on learning a life skill like swimming is maybe part of the cost to pay.
I know this may sound harse and I dont mean it to be but I do believe in learing to swim and would do (almost!) anything to ensure my children could do and do.

balletshoes

it sounds like its all a struggle between your son and you, his parents. Just leave it alone until school starts the swimming lessons with him. Leave the bike too, if he's interested enough in learning to ride he'll come to you.

blossomhill_2

OP - Has your son got any mobility problems with his joints that might indicate hypermobility - this can cause problems riding a bike and aching wrists when writing - and should be ruled out before deciding it is an attitude problem, but is often overlooked and underdiagnosed

sock-knitter

my kids loved the water when they were younger, one learned to swim in high school aged 11 or 12, the other one never learned

same with bikes, both my lads wanted to learn, but just couldnt seem to do it, then when they were approx 9 or 10 they learned, they still wobble a bit, but basically safe, and they enjoy it.

bigmomma051204

freddie wrote: »

But if you are at work who is looking after your son, you are either paying for childcare or he is with family. if with family can they not take him, if you are paying for childcare then maybe your child missing out on learning a life skill like swimming is maybe part of the cost to pay. The swimming lessons are at 3:30pm... he finishes school at 3:15pm and it takes 15mins just to get to the town where the pool is (without then parking, getting in and getting changed etc), simply wouldnt be able to do it without leaving school 15mins early.... My OH is self employed, he picks him up - he is unable to take him himself after school as it is all lessons/classes at the pool from 3:30pm until 7:30pm when it would be too late for him to go. I also dont like the implication that if you have to use childcare, you are somehow doing your child out of something...dont use childcare as cant afford it and there simply isnt any in our rural location, BUT many do and i am pretty sure they would not like your implication there......
I know this may sound harse and I dont mean it to be but I do believe in learing to swim and would do (almost!) anything to ensure my children could do and do.

Short of digging a hole in the back garden, and filling it with water there is simply nothing i can do about the lack of available swimming time in our local leisure centre!! Oh, or perhaps we should just move to another area....... :cool:

bigmomma051204

I am surprised (or maybe i shouldnt be on here!) at how much i am feeling the need to defend myself and my OH ....... i posted because i wondered if it was unusual for a 7year old NOT to be swimming or riding a bike. I actually feel that a parent who cares enough to ask a question such as this and obviously wants to ensure that their child is achieving well and doesnt want them to feel left out by their peers, shouldnt then be berated by others for all of the various reasons - ie those who believe i am the devil incarnate for being unable to swim and therefore making my child miss out by not pushing enough....and then the other end of the spectrum, those who believe i am a bad and pushy parent due to not wanting my son to be left out when he goes to swimming etc with his peers............

Gosh, its a bloo*y good thing i have been on this site for long enough to take some of you lot with a pinch of salt isnt it?! Thanks though to those (more normal) people who have answered in a non-judgemental and informative way...... you guys are great!

cte1111

I don't think it is particularly unusual for a 7 year old not to be swimming / riding a bike. My DD is 9 and can't ride her bike, we've tried to encourage her but she shrieks and gives up very easily. She can swim - she's had lessons on and off at the local pool and as I love swimming she's also been able to learn from me.

However when she started school swimming lessons (at about age 7 I think), lots of her classmates couldn't swim at all. I think they all can now after the lessons. So I wouldn't worry unduly.

mummyroysof3

my son is 7 and just started swimming lessons in last 2months.

by riding a bike do you mean without stablisers? he still has them as tbh with having 3 children and him being the eldest he only ever rides his bike on the big patio at home, am going to let him start riding to end of drive and back this holidays but hes not very trustworthy with the breaks and prefers to crash into the fence to stop so will have to see how it goes