DS cant swim or ride bike at 7yrs.. am i worrying for nothing?

dancingfairy

Hi, with regards to your OH taking him swimming, is he trying to make him swim or is it more of a relaxed, lets go and get in the water, maybe sit on the side and dangle our feet in, then get in and try blowing bubbles in the water, try holding on to the side and kicking, maybe try and grab a float and learn that way or with armbands? As has been said - perhaps a go in a fun session or with waves or something (perhaps he coudl stay in the shallow end for a bit).
I hope he can get the hang of swimming but if he really,really doesn't want to them perhaps the school swimming lessons will persaude him.
df

Janepig

lika_86 wrote: »

If you can't swim why do you expect your son to be motivated to learn? You say he won't try, but what about you? Do you go and sit on the side and watch or do you get in as well?

I wouldn't put it quite as harshly as that but I wondered the same. My parents used to take me swimming occasionally when I was younger which we all enjoyed, and when it came to lessons I had no fear of the water, and although I'm not fantastic at swimming, I've never had a problem with it.

DH on the other hand, neither of his parents can swim, they hate the water, and as such he was never encouraged and didn't like the lessons he had with the school. He will come swimming with us as a family, but I have to put major pressure on him to do so, he clearly doesn't like it, although he can swim.

Luckily, neither of my two have picked up on this and they love the water. DS is 6 and having lessons at the moment and he loves it. Too much really, he spends more time under the water than above it listening to the teacher, and his swimming "technique" leaves alot to be desired.

DD has had two lots of lessons with the school - they go every day for 3 weeks - and although there are many children in the school who go to swimming lessons and the school has quite a successful swimming team, there are plenty of children who were up in the shallow end having beginners lessons. I know, because we were able to go along and watch!

Jx

jackomdj

Can you arrange for your oh to go swimming with a friends family, your son will see his friend swimming and hopefully be more inclined to get in the water and have some fun.

For me the important thing about them learning to swim is being able to do enough that they can get out of water safely if they fall in. My dd is at the end of Yr2. They have just had their lessons and the majority of her class could not swim. My DD has lessons at the same pool and loved it as the teacher used her to demonstrate a lot of the strokes. She has just got her 50meter badge.

Again try to get a friend around with their bike to just hang out and play. Both DD's enjoy riding around the front on their bikes, DD2 learnt at Easter (just turned 5) and it was amazing how quickly our neighbours daughter learnt after that!

onlyroz

My son is 7 and can't swim - but I'm looking into swimming classes for him, because it was embarrassing for him to be the oldest kid in armbands when we were on holiday at Easter. He also can't ride a bike - we tried to get him to learn when he was 4, but he hated it, and didn't seem to be strong enough to push the pedals. I'd like to try him again, but he's probably outgrown the bike by now and so I'd have to fork out for another one...

freddie_2

I am in the camp that swimming is essential. Riding a bike wont save your life but swimming could and may save someone elses.

The earlier they learn the better as obv it gets harder as you get older to learn new things, What about lessons at the weekend? AFAIK all pools I know of run lessons at the weekend.

Also I would never take a child on a 'sun beach' holiday without being able to swim as I would never relax as you could never take your eyes off them. Particularly if you have more than one child. Not saying you do take them by the way.

bigmomma051204

Hi again - just to explain, we HAVE tried to make it fun, BUT as he cannot swim, most of the "fun" things are out of reach - ie, slides etc are all great BUT he would go into the water, and not be able to swim to the side etc.... he is not SAFE enough to have the fun without a BASIC understanding of how to swim. Especially in a pool filled with tons of other kids!! He isnt scared of the water as someone suggested....he SAYS he is, but he clearly is using that as an excuse to not try. An example my OH had spent about 30mins with him, using floats, trying to get him to kick his legs (which he wouldnt do) hold edge of pool and kick with legs, holding onto float and pulling him along etc..... he just didnt want to do any of it..... my OH then said he was going to swim to the other end of pool and back and said to DS, sit on edge of pool and do not move until he returns (ie 2 mins)..... as SOON as OH turned his back, DS had decided to jump into the pool and was splashing around, freaking out etc. Nightmare! lol .... SO, certainly not scared of it....

meritaten

excuse me - but I couldnt help noticing in your post that your son says he is scared of the bike, also that he is taken swimming and wont follow instructions, which frustrates you.

Have you considered that the child may actually BE scared of riding the bike? you say he will love it, he says he is scared. you seem to dismiss this fear as of no consequence.

your child was swimming when your parents took him - once learned never forgotten! are you sure you want him to be able to swim or do you think his classmates will be better than him?

as for the bike - I can ride a bike, JUST! I also had a parent who gave me so many tips and safety instructions and then expected me to remember those and ride the ruddy bike and keep my balance and watch out for dogs, kids, traffic - I hated it! I much preferred to go home and read books!

are you sure you are doing this for your sons sake or yours? he may think he swims adequately for his needs and has no wish to ride a bike at all!

I am just thinking back to when I was a kid! my parents thought me wierd cos I loved books, had no interest in sports or even playing games with other kids - I preferred my solitary life and resented being pushed into 'activities' my parents thought best for me.

PS - I still dislike swimming (think I may have been a cat in a former life - hate being dunked in water)! and wouldnt ride a bike unless there was no other transport available. I just dont feel safe on them!

tyllwyd

I went along as a parent helper to the school swimming lessons with my younger daughter, and they were great with the kids, and even though several fussed about going into the water on the first session, they got all of them swimming at least a bit by the end of the year. My two don't do regular swimming lessons, but a school local to us does swimming courses every day for a week in the holidays, which might be an option for you?

My oldest is quite uncordinated, and couldn't seem to balance on her bike for ages, probably age 7 or 8. Then one day she got a cheap musical toy from McDonalds, and decided that she'd be able to ride with music - set off and by the end of the afternoon she was fine. But although it's a nice skill, its not always very useful - where we live, the kids are very limited in where they can ride to, so if she had never learnt I wouldn't be devastated.


Edited to say - I've just read your post above. I wonder if your DS is playing up for you, and would get behave better with an instructor - maybe even a few one-to-one lesssons, just to get him over the mental barrier he's made for himself.

bigmomma051204

freddie wrote: »

I am in the camp that swimming is essential. Riding a bike wont save your life but swimming could and may save someone elses.

The earlier they learn the better as obv it gets harder as you get older to learn new things, What about lessons at the weekend? AFAIK all pools I know of run lessons at the weekend.

Also I would never take a child on a 'sun beach' holiday without being able to swim as I would never relax as you could never take your eyes off them. Particularly if you have more than one child. Not saying you do take them by the way.

Hiya - unfortunately in the rural area we live, the one pool within reach only does lessons after school (3:30pm) which apart from struggling to get there in time due to the distance, cost £22 per lesson as i mentioned earlier and they make you have a lesson per week - at £88 per month, i simply cannot afford to do this Also, the waiting list for these lessons is currently 8 months long (his name is on it just in case i come into a fortune lol) :(

GobbledyGook

I would leave the swimming until he goes with the school. He won't be the only child that can't swim and you may find that going along with his classmates may bring him out of his shell and seeing his friends enjoy themselves may teach him the fun of the water.

Once he's got the basics from a proper teacher (no offence to your OH, but sometimes we all take instruction better from someone 'official') again you'll be able to judge better where he is at.

After that you could look into more lessons or whatever. I do think you have to be careful though because pushing someone into going swimming if they really, really don't like it or fear it can be the worst thing to do. It may be that he just really, really doesn't like it and once he has the basics you may have to just accept that.

Same with riding a bike. I only learned to ride a bike when I was wanting to teach my daughter. I just did not like it at all. I don't feel safe. There's no law that says you have to be able to ride a bike and if he doesn't enjoy it then there's no point in making him.