Clubs for children. Necessary?

Dontknowanymore

Hi
I have an 8 year old son who is quite intelligent, great at maths, reading, writing, IT and is very creative.
He is above average in subjects but is emotionally immature and is in a nurture class at school (he has had a tough couple of years in our home life) He is not sporty in the slightest. Although he has just discovered the skate park and uses his scooter on the ramps (I would prefer him use his BMX but it's too heavy for him to use at this age so OH is going to get hold of a lighter one)

Anyway, he would, if he could sit on the laptop, play lego or draw all day, he plays out in our communal garden with the neighbours sometimes and we take them to parks a lot but he always wants to go indoors and moans.
I limit his time on the laptop, which he mainly uses for moshi monsters and wathing vids (supervised) on youtube, mainly of peopole making things out of lego.

I was wondering if enrolling him in a club would do him any good to get him more active or just liking the outside a bit more, I enroled him for cubs a few months ago but he refused to go after 3 weeks as he said they were rude to him (telling him to shut up) but he does talk a lot and struggles with waiting his turn and is a bit of a tantrum thrower when he loses (we are working on this!)
My OH is a volunteer with the scouts and offered to go with him when they start back in september but DS says no.

So after all that waffle I'm wondering if mabye I should just make him go and give it one last try, or see if there is anything else I can get him interested in.
Or wether clubs are not needed and I should just leave him be.
Also other than cubs, swimming (which he gets lesons at school as they have their own pool) or karate, are there any other clubs for kids out there?

balletshoes

yes, there are other clubs/activities he could do, just have a google for childrens activities in your area. Off the top of my head in our area we have dance, drama, trampolining, gymnastics, horseriding, various indoor/outdoor sports, karate/judo etc etc.

Personally, I wouldn't force him to go back to Cubs if he's dead set against it.

Mojisola

It doesn't suit everyone to be sporty. Mine were never into team games.

He will have to learn to listen to instructions and take his turn but an activity that's more of an individual one like chess, archery, circle skills or canoeing might suit him better. Some clubs have a children's section to encourage youngsters into the sport so phone around.

Dontknowanymore

Thanks......

Mojisola

In answer to the thread title - No, going to clubs isn't necessary. You'll have to weigh up whether he's ready to join one - socially and emotionally. Joining a club may improve his social skills but it may set him back as well. You know your son and can check out the clubs and make a decision then.

I know people who spent their childhood being dragged around clubs and to extra-curricular lessons despite hating them and have bad memories of their early years as a result.

Have you discussed the idea of clubs with the school? They are obviously aware of his problems and may have suggestions of something that may be suitable.

Dontknowanymore

Thanks. No I will have a chat with the teacher in the nurture class.
I dont want to push him todo anything he doesn't want to.
I done ballet, modern and tap through primary, Mum never pushed me to do anything but I can still remember the pushy mums there!
Once I decided I didnt want to do it anymore mum just let me stop.

Strapped

Not necessary, but I'd say desirable if you can find one thing he enjoys doing. (I'd vote martial arts of some kind but of course that's a personal preference).

Mojisola

Dontknowanymore wrote: »

I done ballet, modern and tap through primary, Mum never pushed me to do anything but I can still remember the pushy mums there!
Once I decided I didnt want to do it anymore mum just let me stop.

It is a difficult balance to get. I've heard some people who are at the top of their field saying "I'd never have got here if my parents hadn't insisted on me going to the club when I wanted to stop" and others saying how they dreaded certain days of the week because it was piano lessons or gymnastic club!

Would your son respond to giving a new club a chance by agreeing to stay at it for a complete half term or another set number of weeks? We always explained to our children that it can be hard learning something new and meeting new people - for adults as well as children - and that you have to give something new a chance before you give up on it.

cherylim

I was (probably) very similar to your son at his age. I was considered very intelligent but was socially inept, and I hated sport. My mum, thinking it was the thing to do, got me to join a few different clubs. I hated them - it was an hour or two each week when I was forced to be with people and to do things I didn't want to do. I enjoyed the things I learned - first aid, survival skills, karate, cooking, sewing and the like, but I didn't enjoy the experience.

Fact is, I always have been (and probably always will be) better at being alone. I'm much better socially now - I have great friends who I enjoy spending time with, but social situations still become 'too much' for me after a few hours. As a kid, I locked myself away and by the time I was 11 I could design and programme websites. In my mid-teenage years I was making websites for other people and found fun in photography and videography. I didn't need clubs, I enjoyed learning on my own.

I think it's best to nurture your son however is best for him. If he wants to attend a club, there are millions out there that he could be a part of. If he just wants to keep himself to himself, your time and money are better spent offering him support, driving him where he needs to be or buying a few items to help him develop his skills. He'll know what he likes.

Dontknowanymore

Mojisola wrote: »

It is a difficult balance to get. I've heard some people who are at the top of their field saying "I'd never have got here if my parents hadn't insisted on me going to the club when I wanted to stop" and others saying how they dreaded certain days of the week because it was piano lessons or gymnastic club!

Would your son respond to giving a new club a chance by agreeing to stay at it for a complete half term or another set number of weeks? We always explained to our children that it can be hard learning something new and meeting new people - for adults as well as children - and that you have to give something new a chance before you give up on it.

That is true. I have seen the sort of clubs listed and to be honest I can't see him agreeing to any!
He might want to try some form of martial arts, he can be a tat obsessed with power rangers at times!
He joined an art club at school but didnt last as he said it was too hard, he has a lot of self doubt and gets very upset when he doesnt get things 'right' I do try to encourage him and tell him that he makes good efforts, practise makes perfect etc.
BUT I have tto bear in mind it was not long after he had joined the school (at the start of this summer term), and as I have said the last 2 and a half years have been very unsettling for him. But now life is more stable than it has ever been but I'm sure in the back of his mind he must have doubts of if we are going to be moving again, poor thing.

Now thinking about it, I think maybe waiting until school starts back and seeing what ASC's they offer may be the way forward.

cherylim wrote: »

I was (probably) very similar to your son at his age. I was considered very intelligent but was socially inept, and I hated sport. My mum, thinking it was the thing to do, got me to join a few different clubs. I hated them - it was an hour or two each week when I was forced to be with people and to do things I didn't want to do. I enjoyed the things I learned - first aid, survival skills, karate, cooking, sewing and the like, but I didn't enjoy the experience.

Fact is, I always have been (and probably always will be) better at being alone. I'm much better socially now - I have great friends who I enjoy spending time with, but social situations still become 'too much' for me after a few hours. As a kid, I locked myself away and by the time I was 11 I could design and programme websites. In my mid-teenage years I was making websites for other people and found fun in photography and videography. I didn't need clubs, I enjoyed learning on my own.

I think it's best to nurture your son however is best for him. If he wants to attend a club, there are millions out there that he could be a part of. If he just wants to keep himself to himself, your time and money are better spent offering him support, driving him where he needs to be or buying a few items to help him develop his skills. He'll know what he likes.

Thank you for your post, I have a feeling my son is going to be a proper computer kid, he does have his own netbook but as I have said I do try and limit his time.
His school report said that his IT skills are literally amazing and he is up there with children in older years as to what he can do.
He loves making powerpoint presentations, I dont even know the first thing about PP!
He even shows my Mum how to use the laptop :rotfl:

I have just spoke to OH and we are going to sit down with him and show him the sort of clubs on offer, if he says no to any then maybe look into some programmes for the laptop that may be good for him?
Also will invest in some more art and craft supplies, he' forever making books, posters and flyers for various things.
His other passion is music, so maybe I can incorporate the IT with some sort of music making thing?

Mojisola

Dontknowanymore wrote: »

Thank you for your post, I have a feeling my son is going to be a proper computer kid, he does have his own netbook but as I have said I do try and limit his time.

His school report said that his IT skills are literally amazing and he is up there with children in older years as to what he can do.
He loves making powerpoint presentations, I dont even know the first thing about PP!

Also will invest in some more art and craft supplies, he' forever making books, posters and flyers for various things.

His other passion is music, so maybe I can incorporate the IT with some sort of music making thing?

I know he's only little yet but if he's very bright and this good with a computer and artistic, see if he could do some fliers or posters for a local club. It could give him a massive boost to see his work being put up on noticeboards advertising real events!

Again, some of it will be over his head but ours found things on the TED site - https://www.ted.com/talks - from about that age. It's an amazing resource for bright kids to get into to expand their horizons.