Preparedness for when

Frugalsod

MrsLurcherwalker wrote: »

Don't you think that a couple of generations now have had access to X boxes/game boys 24/7 and been allowed/chosen to use that as an activity in their spare time along with the perpetual and ubiquitous mobile phone/texting usage rather than have any interaction with 'real' people? It's really no wonder that social skills and interactions have almost faded away and that those who play all the violent 'war/combat' games might have a warped appreciation of how to act and communicate with the outside world. If you spend all day killing things on screen and have no reality it isn't a huge leap to thinking that is real is it? Plus kids are stuck in front of videos or Mums mobile phone and seem to be regarded as an extra to the 'real' world of texting. No wonder so many of the population have mental problems too if their perception of the real world is coloured by the games they play.

I seriously doubt the link between violent games and actual crimes is real if anything it is very tenuous. I have played games for years where I kill people, but know that it is game. I find that they are great for getting rid of any stress and potential aggression.

pineapple

Frugalsod wrote: »

I seriously doubt the link between violent games and actual crimes is real if anything it is very tenuous. I have played games for years where I kill people, but know that it is game. I find that they are great for getting rid of any stress and potential aggression.

I think it's a factor though. If only because some more impressionable people lose a sense of perspective - the dividing line between reality and fiction. Which could explain in part the relatively new phenomenon (phenomena?) of people filming violent assaults for fun.
Just me spouting garbage probably. I'll shut up now and get off to do me WW3 shopping :eek:

VJsmum

I think it is generalising too much. Most kids I know, including mine, have had access to those things - x boxes, videos etc. they have also been out and about, they have volunteered at a steam railway we love in the summer, have been to drama classes and football clubs etc.

My DD loves her DVDs but is also a qualified lifeguard; through her love of DVDs and film, she joined Film club and has had "red carpet" experience interviewing actors and directors; she talks to people in other countries, via t'internet (love that auto correct actually said t'internet ) who have a shared love of sci fi, she acts with our nearest rep company. DS loves his x box, but is a qualified referee which earns him £18 a week for a couple of hours on a Saturday - and he is only 15 - he is captain of his football team and volunteers at the steam railway where he is training to become an engine driver. Our holidays in the caravan have been screen free but I have never especially restricted screen time at home. Because they are out and about so much, I don't see why they can't chill to some screen - I do. But, we eat at a table, all together nearly every night. There is no TV in the kitchen. And we talk, so we find out about their days discuss current affairs if its relevant, talk about future family events. W always read (past tense, I don't think the 15 and 17 year old need us to read to them now!!) to them at bedtime and only once they were teenagers did we allow tvs in bedrooms.

I am sure many would disagree with our approach - that's up to them but I don't think the gadgetry has particularly harmed them.

Frugalsod

pineapple wrote: »

I think it's a factor though. If only because some more impressionable people lose a sense of perspective - the dividing line between reality and fiction. Which could explain in part the relatively new phenomenon (phenomena?) of people filming violent assaults for fun.
Just me spouting garbage probably. I'll shut up now and get off to do me WW3 shopping :eek:

I doubt it. In the thirties there was a problem with razor attacks by gangs then, well before video games. Then in the sixties and seventies we had the mods versus rocker battles in the streets. Then in the eighties there was the killings that were blamed on heavy metal music that rumoured incitement to kill if played backwards. I think that every generation gets them but blames it on some phantom problem. It also makes a great excuse for the legal defence it was not me but the music, video game, movie etc. The numbers who might be susceptible might already have mental issues and they would also have mobile phones so are mobile phones a cause? Lets take mobile phones away from everyone! :-) The recent happy slapping craze is probably just another gang initiation that requires proof via video. The fact that we are getting older means that it might upset us but is no different to the things that happened when we were younger.

[Deleted User]

I'm not suggesting at all that the on screen violence is the sole cause of societal problems but that it might be a contributory factor in the inability to understand how to behave in some situations. FRUGALSOD I'm assuming that you didn't have electronic games etc. as your main childhood occupation? I think for those youngsters that do for whatever reason be it working parents, single parent households etc. IF and it is an IF they don't then have the balance of normal conversations and interractions with different people they might find it difficult to distinguish fantasy from reality and not have the experience to make correct judgements when dealing with people and situations outside their 'norm'. It is a generalisation and is based on what I see and hear when I'm out and about and of course most young people are perfectly pleasant and polite it's just the odd few that concern me.

mardatha

I think schools let them away with murder now, whereas years ago if kids were disruptive they got the belt and then they stopped being disruptive. Now the teachers face chaos and the other kids get fedup because of it - and nobody gains anything. Am sure that getting the belt a few times (I did often) is less harmful in the long run that 4 years of sitting in bedlam. All the years I was at school, I never once witnessed any pupil being too OTT with a teacher.
It's like nobody can do anything to cope with unruly kids or teens now - and they know it.

D&DD

It's interesting to read others approaches to tech VJ's mum yours sounds similar to ours as we all enjoy the use of it but also spend time talking and discussing things as a family and the boys do have outside interests too.


My boys are all heavily into gaming, OH is also a gamer so in this house there's serious flapping if the internet cuts out but we normally end up playing one of their board games or something instead.


I'm proud to say that even tho I live where I do my kids teachers have never had anything but positive comments about them all through school and people comment how polite and caring they are *even though they are boys!!* so even though their mum may be a bit of a zombie obsessed crackpot I must have done something right lol...


My youngest has progressed so well due to the use of technology as he is such a visual learner,so I don't think tech is necessarily bad but it's like all things it needs to be used responsibly.

fuddle

Id say it was down to family lives...

If a teacher ever, EVER laid a hand on my child then I would be livid because no one has a right to scar my child physically and/or emotionally. But that does not mean any misdemeanor would go unchecked. Deary me - my child would be punished and made to see consequences of her actions - by her mam and dad.

Schools are incredibly softly softly these days but a good head/and or teacher who can build rapport with children can work wonders and does work wonders to turn behaviour around but that behaviour is never going to improve without the support and input from home.

Home lives are the beginning, middle and end in my opinion.

fuddle

Socially my kids are suffering and I know it but cant do anything about it other than supervise and get them in the out doors.

I "played out". My kids dont. They play in the garden, 9 and 5 - they play together and in the confines of the fence. We try to get them out to experience what nature has to offer them but it does not do them any good being with mam and dad all the time. We are at a loss what to do because school cant help either. Health and safety policies sees to it that children stand on the yard with minimal scope to investigate imaginatively in their surrounds. What we have is play times talking about minecraft - which means the kids want to play minecraft when they get home to sustain their friendships.

Social interaction is suffering in our society for our youngsters but we cant just blame parents who dont give a damn and let children entertain themselves quietly... its parents like me who need to mollycoddle, who need to make sure their children are safe, who cant see past that fast car driving down the street or the neighbour reversing off their drive into my youngster.

Things are not ideal at the moment but some of us are lucky to be able to address the issues and try to counter balance. Others havent the ability, time, money, mental/physical strenth to be able to do so.

Maybe the technology age is the modern way of letting kids "play out" (because I was always kicked outside to entertain myself as not to get under mams feet!) in a safe environment?

[Deleted User]

When I walked Docky this afternoon with his friend Charlie the retriever and Charlies Mumi I was on the receiving end of an inappropriate display of behaviour from a very grumpy middle aged man. My dog and I were walking along the pavement and my dog had the absolute nerve to wee on the hedge that was growing in front of his garden fence. He stuck his head round the side of the fence and said '!!!! off!' and didn't realise I'd heard him. So I went back and said 'I beg your parden?' and got 'Bl**dy dog peed on MY hedge'. I replied that dogs wee'd on our front hedge but that they were on the public footpath like I was and there was nothing wrong in that. 'Not on my Bl**dy hedge though' was his reply again. I walked away, but did say in a loud voice' Manners maketh man, or apparently NOT in some cases' so it's not just youngsters who have neither the discrimination or social graces to know what is or isn't appropriate behaviour in some situations is it?

The filter has removed the alternative word for urinating!

FUDDLE my girls didn't play out in the street either, I didn't want that at all but we didn't have the pressure of the 'in' games either. I made sure they had lots of friends back for tea and playing after school and they joined lots of clubs Brownies then Guides, Red Cross Cadets, Swimming Club,Ice Skating lessons Riding lessons, Gymnastics Club, Dance Club, Ballet lessons (not all at the same time, but a couple a week) and they were invited out to their friends for tea and playtime in return. I don't think they were socially disadvantaged and they certainly have grown into socially minded women with a huge circle of diverse friends, don't worry too much, they'll be fine! Lyn xxx.