PLEASE HELP:I want 2work @hubby's workplace

spoilt_BUT_appreciate_it

pamaris wrote: »

Do you know any parents of children in your local school?

No I don't know any...

well my brother in-law's children: one goes to the primary round the corner from where they live and their eldest will be starting Highschool in September (the same crappy place I went to) it was bad when I started there and whilst I was there for the 5 years and now it's even worse..and not just with the league tables.

Not that I've said anything to her mum and dad as they seem very happy in their choice and it is where their daughter wants to go BUT they never got round to attending the open evening, which shocked me. The appearance of the school is very misleading looks really hi-tech so a visit wouldn't have neccessarily have put them off... (besides I'm no EXPERT who am I to say whether it's a good school or not)

bikerqueen

so have you asked the grandparents in question?

spoilt_BUT_appreciate_it

No haven't asked the in-laws, as I wanted to know what my husband thought of the idea first and since he said no instantly the plan came to hault right there. However he did agree that he doesn't believe they'd have a problem with it, but until you ask you don't really know.

The truth is I am sick to death of my husband working the night shift, he has been doing it for over 5 years now. I just want my husband back and our evening togther again, at the moment he climbs into be as I get out. So if I'm lucky we have 5 minute cuddle before I get up... I have before now taken our daughter of to nursery and come home and climbed straight back into bed to cuddle and get that nice warm feeling.

spoilt_BUT_appreciate_it

Nenen wrote: »

I have friends working in private schools that are far less fortunate... where teachers are buying basic provisions out of their own money.

Probably a silly question but how would I find out whether this is the case in the school we're looking at ?

spoilt_BUT_appreciate_it

mancitychick wrote: »

would it be really bad to try the local state primary and see how your child does.

When my son reached school age we looked at sending him to private school as we were already paying £550 a month in nursery fees so we would not actually be any worse off.

I suppose I just feel like it's playing around with my daughter's future...she probably would be fine in a state school but probably isn't good enough!

I FEEL LIKE I'M DIGGING MYSELF A VERY BIG HOLE....Lol

Your comment on nursery fees is really the same boat we're in.....

They learn more in the first seven years or whatever it is and whilst I appreciate that there are no guarantees by sending her to a fee paying school, I just feel that it goes some way towards us hopefully giving her that head start.:o and it's something that I feel I have control of as she has to do the rest and it may be that down the line she's not that interested in school.

I spend alot of time with her reading, writing, counting and subtracting and she seems to be very bright :A but perhaps as parents we are bias and I am aware of that, but I also spend a great deal of time with her doing fun artistic bits and peices: making things and painting.

I've only ever sent two photos of her holding pictures that she done to magazines and both were printed the most recent was Art Attack.:T

But leave her to her own devices and she'll just scribble, she does seem to need a lot of praise and just general encouragement.

She's not a performing seal and you can ask her a question and she'll reply
"I DON'T KNOW" :mad: when she does.

spoilt_BUT_appreciate_it

mintymoneysaver wrote: »

What about parents' evenings, clubs after school, birthday parties etc? Would grandparents do all of these?

Sorry to be nosy but are you saying you are all living on £20,000 you don't work, but you still spend £400 a month on a nursery for your daughter? What do you do while she's there?

No the £20k is just the standard nightshift ware house person pay, hubby gets much more than that as he's higher up, plus most Friday nights there is overtime and a few extra hours a week,.. it all adds up believe me.

Correct I currently do not work at all... and yes I get very bored doing very little and have recently being doing a lot of exercise, oh and alot of time on the internet. I decorate: paint, wallpaper and all DIY stuff as OH doesn't do any of that type of thing (both my parents were decorators so it's in the blood). Apart from the drill coz I'm a girl and really don't have the strength behind me Lol,..... but no seriously even the electrical stuff he'll phone his brother to come round as he is an Electrician.

But neither of us smoke or drink so we don't have that expense that I know so many others do.....

I have pleaded with my other half to do a 9-5 so that I can do the same but he said he wont get anywhere near the same kind of money on days.

Most of the children's birthday parties have been in village halls or fun houses with tunnels and balls etc and even though my husband does the night shift eight times out of ten he comes along too, (he's always been really good like that). So if I were to do the night shift aswell I'd like to think that side of things wouldn't change, but you have a valid point about parents' evenings BUT I can't see them being held as late as 8 or 9 o'clock, perhaps I'm wrong.

spoilt_BUT_appreciate_it

pennypitstop wrote: »

Where are you planning to emigrate to?

British Columbia in Canada we've been over there 3 times already and once too Toronto and are now thinking of staying in a little cottage in Nova Scotia so that we can experience life itself away from hotels.

JillD_2

The truth is I am sick to death of my husband working the night shift, he has been doing it for over 5 years now. I just want my husband back and our evening togther again, at the moment he climbs into be as I get out. So if I'm lucky we have 5 minute cuddle before I get up... I have before now taken our daughter of to nursery and come home and climbed straight back into bed to cuddle and get that nice warm feeling.

But perhaps your daughter would feel like this about you going on on nightshift, she would be lucky to get a bedtime story andf then if got up in the evening neiother Mummy nor Daddy would be there.

If you are insistent that its only for a couple of years before you emigrate then I would have thought she would be ok at your local primary (unless its truly awful of course).

Also, my husband and I worked together for about 6 years. It was very very very hard. You have to be totally professional at work and cant take domestic arguments or niggles to work. We car shared to save petrol of course, and in the morning I wanted to chat about life in general, he didnt and I used to get huffy about that, on the way home he wanted to talk shop and I didnt and he'd get huffy about that. If I wanted to ask him something like "did you buy milk2 at work I'd have to be all discret and secretive, to was truly hard. I hated it. He finally left to start his own business, I am still there.

And finally, being a working Mum is bloomin hard work to begin with never mind a) working with your husband and b) working night shifts. You feel guilty, you still have to find time to shop, do housework, feed everyone, do paperwork, play, do kids activities etc etc. There just isnt enough time in the day, its agiant treadmill. The added stress of doing shifts would make it that much harder. I know lots of people do it, and it can work though.

Sorry to sound so negative, I know you are trying to do the right thing for your family, these choices are never easy.
Jill

Nenen

As you say that you aren't working at the moment but your dd is at nursery then one option would be to try doing the shift wake/sleep pattern with your dh just to see what it would be like! Of course it means doing your housework, exercise etc in the middle of the night but at least you could get a feel for what it might like before commiting yourself.

beautifulgorgeous_2

You don`t have to send dd to your catchment school. The junior school we choose for ds is 5 miles away. The extra 100 miles a week driven is considerably less than the pre prep that he was at until he was seven. He will start at the c of e comp that dd went to at 11 after a fee paying junior school. We use the money not spent on education on trips to London, Dublin etc as dd is interested in art. Also the holidays at private school are really long if you are also working.