PLEASE HELP:I want 2work @hubby's workplace

spoilt_BUT_appreciate_it

Sorry if I babble on I'm NEW to this...
as with most married couples finances are always tight and could be made better by the wife (that's me returning to work) I am only 27 but haven't worked for the last 5 years since just before our daughter was born who is now 4 and a half.

We decided that we wanted her to attend a public school which obviously comes at a cost and it was agreed that I would go back to work between the hours of 9am - 1pm whilst she is doing a 9 - 3pm school day.

Even if it were only to pay for the school fees... HOWEVER

My previous experience is doing PA / Secretarial roles and finding anything suitable has been impossible, even via TEMP agencies it JUST HASN'T MATERIALISED I've had no luck at all

The issue is that my husband works the night shift 9pm - 6am approx. so he comes home and is asleep say for 7-8hrs making it 14:00pm in the afternoon when he usually wakes up

and WE BOTH AGREE THAT me doing a job that results in me not being home when he wakes up isn't ideal for any relationship..that whole exchanging hellos in the hallway as the other goes to work kinda thing!

SO I CAME UP WITH THE SOLUTION of our daughter being looked after by Grandparents at night, whilst we both do the night shift..

Equating to me bringing in around £20k, plenty for school fees and my spending habits and OF COURSE.. FOR PAYING OF DEBTS..my husand dismissed the idea saying I wouldn't like the job etc

I need to talk him around coz it would solve the DEBT problems by obliterating them MEGA FAST as they would be priority

I would also get far better job satisfaction for a role that has a £20k wage than a poxy admin BACK TO SCHOOL gofer style job that only pays min wage totalling £5 -£6k THAT seems to be all that's on offer ........HELP!

Nenen

I am intrigued to know what your husband does on his nightshift? What job would you be doing?

You mention that your job would be used to pay school fees but that the sort of jobs you have been looking at only pay 5-6 thousand. You also mention being in a lot of debt. Does the nightshift job your husband does pay 20K? I hope you don't mind me asking these questions (and the ones below). I'm not trying to put you off if it's what you really want to do but would encourage you to think carefully about your long term options.

Even if both you and your husband earn 20K do you think an independent school is a realistic option? I teach in an independent school (having taught for more than 18 years in the maintained sector) and think you will find that most decent independent schools charge at least 4-5 thousand per year at age 5 and that is without uniform, trips and a myriad of extras. The uniform alone at my school costs well over £200 :eek: The fees go up considerably with age, it is not unusual to be paying 6-9K per year at 11 and even more for secondary education. Can you really be sure you will be able to afford this long term? What happens if one of you is ill or you have another child? In my experience most parents who send their children to a private school are either running their own successful businesses, have inherited wealth or earning in excess of 80K.

Although there are some families that make huge financial sacrifices for their children to go to private schools it can be very difficult for the children from relatively poor families when they see the opulent life many of their friends lead. Many families with children at private schools lead very wealthy lifestyles, large houses with swimming pools and tennis courts are not unusual. The children often have nannies, ponies, expensive clothes, hobbies and exotic holidays. If you are struggling just to pay fees your DD might feel very left out. For example, at my school a recent sports tour to South Africa was organised for Years 7 & 8 at a cost of over £2,000 per child:eek:

I've seen children whose parents are completely stressed out due to the pressure of work they have to do in order to keep their child at a private school. They are then unable to give the child the time and attention they need and the child really suffers. Many private schools have high expectations for homework and if parents are too busy earning money to be able to help and support their child this again becomes a real issue. The worst case scenario (and one that causes me much heartache on behalf of the child) is where the financial pressures causes family breakdown and then the child has to be pulled out of the school. I'd hate something like this to happen to you as you sound such a caring Mum who obviously wants the best for her DD and also wants to keep a good relationship with her DH.

Whilst I can understand that you want to find a fulfilling job I really would think very carefully before using this reason to commit to private education. IMHO you'd be better off to retrain to do something you enjoy whilst looking for a good state school (of which there are many). Good luck with whatever you decide and if you have any questions you think I might be able to answer feel free to ask and I'll do what I can.

jbbonce

Could you not just try it out for a while? If it works out then great, if not then you will at least have earnt a little bit while you look for a more suitable job?

spoilt_BUT_appreciate_it

He has a supervisory position in the warehouse, so I would be just a standard warehouse person, they already have 2 or 3 women that do this role so its not like it's a toally male role that a girl is incapable of doing.

The PA/Secretarial roles that I have had... paid £18k, but because initially my husband suggested I find just part-time hours it meant that the only office positions available seem to be all office bods

My husbands workplace takes on unexperienced people through a TEMP agency and then take on those that are reliable on permant basis at a later date.

We've paid £400 a month just for our daughter to attend nursery 8am - 1pm Monday - Friday since she was 2.... so the new school wouldn't be a total shock to the system I DON'T THINK ...... money I earnt was really just a top up to pay for the increase in fees from her current nursery to the next school ..... I just thought that a nice pay packet could go along way in making life more comfortable all round... maintaining those trips to the theatre and that nice holiday each year paying of credit cards and the loan which SEEM to always uneccessarily stress HIM OUT

I'll be finding out either tomorrow or on the weekend exactly how much the uniform will be costing.... but we already put to one side £300 but I should be able to getaway with buying just the summer uniform for now!

As for your Question can we be sure will be able to afford it still down the road.... I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS been married for 9 years and don't plan on having anymore than two children

It's good to hear the points you raised about the kind of lifestyle that other children lead .... it will certainly give me something to think about

In the long term we are hoping to emigrate and already have our visa application in the system... with a long wait ahead of us... so perhaps the public school will only be whilst we are in this country I REALLY DON'T KNOW!:j

spoilt_BUT_appreciate_it

My husband said the same thing try it out and see if you like it BUT I fear that it would spell trouble because once in a position say for example that I don't like, he'l not want me to leave until I find another job WHICH IS THE SENSIBLE THING TO DO but I would be the one... in that dilema.... of hating a job due to everyone treating me as a skivy, so despite having one boss it would be like having several.. (!!!!!y women) who all thrive on showing you that they are more superior than you, with it being an office environment and all, it's office politics for you.

Addiscomber

I almost hesitate to ask this, but have you approached the grandparents in question about your plan?

JennyW_2

Addiscomber wrote: »

I almost hesitate to ask this, but have you approached the grandparents in question about your plan?

i wondered this too. Hell of a responsiblity the grandparents would have EVERY night?

purplepurple

My place of work has a strict rule that no spouses of current employees are allowed to be employed there.. have you checked that you'll be able to get employment at the same time?
Sounds like a huge responsibility for the grandparents.... would they have to do homework with your DD? tea? bath? bedtime story? get up during the night if your DD has bad dreams?
There are plenty of fantastic state schools out there... I've got friends who have had to take their children out of private schools because their circumstances changed and they couldn't afford the fees etc. It was really hard for the kids involved. Private eductaion is not always better than state eduction.....difficult decision for you to have to make... good luck!...:)

Scarlett1

spoilt_BUT_appreciate_it wrote: »

I would also get far better job satisfaction for a role that has a £20k wage than a poxy admin BACK TO SCHOOL gofer style job that only pays min wage totalling £5 -£6k THAT seems to be all that's on offer ........HELP!

dont knock jobs like that cause they are like gold dust and lots of people want them so they can work around their childrens schooling, single parents in particular who dont have anyone else to help out with childcare.

would 20k be worth not hardly seeing your child and your parents being put under extra pressure having their grandchild staying over each night, I could understand 1 or nights, but 5 nights ?

biglass

When I was a single parent,my daughter stayed at my folks to enable me to do 2 nightshifts.I wouldn't recommend it for your daughter or your family life.
Kids need to be in their own bed,tucked up.And you'll find grandparents often "take over" and you'll feel always that you" owe" them,I was on a constant grateful guilt trip.
Take advice and look at good state schools rather than this pretty drastic measure.I'm sure your DD would rather be at home with you both.And when she gets older she won't want to stay with granny,trust me, and she won't be the biddable wee girl for them either when she hits 12yo or so and they'll find it hard to deal with a stroppy teen!! Then what do you do ? Take her out of private school cos you've had to change your work pattern?
Sound harsh,sorry,just my opinion-been there,done that-for different reasons.

viktory

Obviously I don't know what your relationship with your husband is like, but quite apart from all the other good advice given above I think that spouses working together is a seriously bad idea - especially if one is in a position of responsibility.

Plus, what would happen if one of the grandparents became ill and couldn't care for your child?