PLEASE HELP:I want 2work @hubby's workplace

spoilt_BUT_appreciate_it

In response to Biglass's comments: on always feeling like you 'owe them' and having to be eternally grateful to the grandparents etc .... is certainly an eye opener and I :eek: cringe at the thought of owing them BIG TIME

However initially the idea was to pay them £3 or £4k,........ had't really given it much thought especially since my husband dismissed the idea straight away before even weighing up the advantages.

I still planned on being the one who took her to school, and give her breakfast and pick her up at 3.15pm and bathing her before I go to work etc, so theoretically she'd be asleep whilst I worked and then at school when I slept.

However I would miss out (as she would also) on being tucked up (in her own bed) and read bedtime stories, but I suppose I hoped that this was be a small price to pay for the advantages we'd gain as a family by me doing the night shift.

Also I hadn't planned on doing this upto her teenage years, just for the next two years whilst are Visa application is being processed to emigrate. If we don't get the VISA we'd move away from where we are currently living anyway.

spoilt_BUT_appreciate_it

viktory wrote: »

Obviously I don't know what your relationship with your husband is like, but quite apart from all the other good advice given above I think that spouses working together is a seriously bad idea - especially if one is in a position of responsibility.

Plus, what would happen if one of the grandparents became ill and couldn't care for your child?

We have worked for the same company before (a different company though) and it wasn't a problem then, however I do appreciate your comment and understand that for some couples they would kill each other if they spent every minute of the day together. But he obviously (my OH) doesnt like the idea for one reason or another.

Your comment on one of the grandparent's getting :eek: ill, isn't something I thought of but as I said to BIGLASS the arrangement was just until our VISA was processed (18mths - 2years current waiting list) and who knows what's around the corner

ailuro2

I have tried to sleep with my dh after we'd both done a nightshift- believe me, it's not a good arrangement long term unless you have two darkened bedrooms to sleep in.
Shift work takes years off your life, I'd avoid it like the plague if I were you...work from home if it is just to cover school fees- ironing, proof reading, doing admin for small businesses etc...

Penny_Watcher

spoilt_BUT_appreciate_it wrote: »

I still planned on being the one who took her to school, and give her breakfast and pick her up at 3.15pm and bathing her before I go to work etc, so theoretically she'd be asleep whilst I worked and then at school when I slept.

Please could I ask what will happen at the weekends? Would you plan to be asleep when your daughter is awake (not suggesting for a moment that you would leave her alone whilst you're sleeping ) It's just that with you and your husband working permanent night shifts your body clock will be opposite to your daughter's. You can make yourself REALLY poorly not getting enough sleep. As ailuro2 says shift work can take years off your life.

And what about school holidays? Mind you, that's a silly question on my part . All working parents need childcare in the holidays :doh:

Lady_E

Having worked with an ex partner together on the same shift, I can vouch for it being the worst possible thing to do. You end up talking job , you will always be "Jims Missus", some people will be wary of you ,simply because of who you are . Night shift is the pits ,after having done it for over 20 years I would rather eat worms than ever to return to it again! It WILL affect your relationship with your OH , and even if your game plan is to only do it for two years ,what is to stop you getting used to the additional money and having to continue? Look around at state schools , there are some excellent schools that provide the very best start for your child without having to pay for them. Good luck with whatever you decide but make sure if you are going to do it that you have weighed up all the pros and cons .

Justie

would it be worth taking a year to retrain as something like a teacher so that your earning potential is increased. Whilst doing the shift work may be ok in the short term it's not a great long term plan. It's also hard to compare a full time wage with a part time one, is there no way you could work full time or even 4 days a week during the day and increase your income that way rather than trying all the changes that are involved in shift work. If you take the warehouse job you'll be no better off in 3 years as there's little promotion structure etc...

Alikay

I think you're making too many sacrifices for your daughter's education. There's no guarantee that she'll be happier at a public school even though better exam results are probable. And how do you know at this stage that she NEEDS fantastic results? Most careers can be accessed by people who've worked hard and got reasonable GCSE and A levels, and if she DID want to be a brain surgeon or Rocket Scientist (are there such things?!!) that ambition will spur her on to do well far more than paying for the best school.

I think that a happy home life is just as important in helping form a useful and successful person as a good education, and juggling shifts/doing work you're not happy with will certainly affect your family's happiness and well-being.

I would not have liked to carry the responsibility that my parents had sacrificed so much just to send me to the best school. Couldn't you just move into the catchment area of a decent state school instead, and save yourselves shed-loads of cash and stress?

spoilt_BUT_appreciate_it

ailuro2 wrote: »

I have tried to sleep with my dh after we'd both done a nightshift- believe me, it's not a good arrangement long term unless you have two darkened bedrooms to sleep in.
Shift work takes years off your life, I'd avoid it like the plague if I were you...work from home if it is just to cover school fees- ironing, proof reading, doing admin for small businesses etc...

Our curtains are lined with proper blackout material and have been ever since OH first started night shift..

But do admit that I did cringe :eek: @ your comment regarding it taking years of my life, don't want to look old or wrinkley or tired and lifeless before my time. :eek:

If anyone has any helpful tips with regards to working from home I'd love to hear them, always appreciated

spoilt_BUT_appreciate_it

Penny_Watcher wrote: »

Please could I ask what will happen at the weekends? Would you plan to be asleep when your daughter is awake (not suggesting for a moment that you would leave her alone whilst you're sleeping ) It's just that with you and your husband working permanent night shifts your body clock will be opposite to your daughter's.:)

I can see your point about my bodyclock switching off whilst she is awake BUT I suppose I thought that because my husband doesn't have that problem on the weekend ... in theory I suppose I'd assumed or hoped that I wouldn't either, BUT I appreciate that in practice it could be a very different story and the idea was that a trial run would be the way to test the water

spoilt_BUT_appreciate_it

Justie wrote: »

would it be worth taking a year to retrain as something like a teacher so that your earning potential is increased.
If you take the warehouse job you'll be no better off in 3 years as there's little promotion structure etc...

Last year I did A Level English Language at a local college and the year before I did A Level Law, which I thoroughly enjoyed :j

It's just it seems about time that I brought in some money again (if you know what I mean), take some strain of my OH, rather than it always being the man that brings home the bacon so to speak

The Long Term plan is that when we emigrate we will both then do a normal 9am-5pm job.......... & I agree with your comment on there being little room for promotion.:beer: