Don't know what to do about this friend

busiscoming2

I'd be miffed too and probably wouldn't bother making any more arrangements to see her. One incident I would let go but two is not acceptable. She is too selfish.

savingmummy

Thats not very nice at all, how long does it take to contact you to change plans?

I wouldn`t bother going to her anymore and say if ever your down MY way let me know that way your keeping your friendship open (if you want to of course) AND saving your expenses.

bright_side

I had a 'friend' like this once. You could always guarantee that if she received a 'better offer' she'd just drop any other plans she had made with others. I think you've given her more than enough chances and as others have said, if you want to continue a friendship with her, make sure any future plans are on your terms/territory xx

Mayflower10cat

Wel, if I'd done that (once) to a friend of mine, I'd be mortified. Twice, I'd be falling over myself apologising/sending her flowers etc. The fact that she's barely acknowledged her careless, thoughtless behaviour tells you something. I'd make no further contact with her, and if she gets in touch again, I suggest being 'too busy!'

Having recently had a friend and neighbour behave very poorly and rudely, that's the approach I've taken. There have been too many occasions where she's been late/disorganised/not said thank you for a favour that this was the last straw. She not only didn't turn up for pre-booked taxis for a large group meal out, she told three different stories as to why she was 'late'. The she blamed her husband for never 'wanting to go anywhere' (?!) then she caught herself out in another lie. We'd actually waited for another 20 minutes with the taxi meter running - no phone call, no text. Did she even apologise for not turning up - no, she just kept blaming us!!! And she sent us an email next day saying that she'd turned up at 7.45pm and we'd gone without her - no, we waited until a little after 7.50pm then the taxi driver insisted on leaving as he had other pre-booked fares that evening.

ognum

You know I think I would not just ignore it, I would call her and say how upset this has made you feel. How is she to know the effect this has had unless you talk to her about it. If you don't say anything next time you meet or speak it will be the elephant in the room!

if its easier email her but I do think you should let her know so she doesn't do it again.

missindecisive

I could have written your post...this has happened to me twice with different friends. Some people do not consider the impact of their own actions, and what effect they have on other people . They live in a rather self centered world, where everything revolves around them!!
its time to re-consider your friendship, and how it makes you feel. Unfortunately, leopards don't change their spots! Once you move on and meet some new people who appreciate you, you will feel much better.:A

Mayflower10cat

missindecisive wrote: »

its time to re-consider your friendship, and how it makes you feel. Unfortunately, leopards don't change their spots! Once you move on and meet some new people who appreciate you, you will feel much better.:A

Yes, very well put! Much as we'd like these 'fair weather friends' to change (with the best will in the world) I fear they just move on to pastures new, where they carry on until sussed yet again!

Lozzy88

I have a friend like this i always just agree to plans and then never even attempt to meet her anymore, and when she texts me 4 day later with a dodgy excuse why she couldnt make it, i usually reply with "aw was it that day! i thought we were meeting tomorrow i`m glad you let me know now, i will text you next time i`m free" Its just one of them things with her, shes not a bad person its just the way it is, i can always find somthing better to do with someone better to it with IYSWIM

cottonhead

I know someone like this. At first I thought it was her way of trying to break off the friendship with me and I felt uncomfortable about initiating contact in case she didnt want it. Until I found out she does it all the time with different people . She doesnt reply to texts, says we will meet but forget to give a time / place so you are chasing at the last second time see if its still on. Cancels at the last second - says I will text you about this or that but never does , doenst reply to invites etc etc . She doenst seem bothered in the slightest and its the general lack of manners that annoys me. I will always be polite to her but I no longer initiate contact.

DVardysShadow

Put her funeral in your diary for next week and forget to go.