I need to change my life, but where do I start?

Gigglepig

It sounds like there are many things you can change.

Ideas for support with hearing loss - here is a list of organisations that may be able to support.
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/dl1/directories/usefulcontactsbycategory/disabledpeoplecontacts/specificneedscontacts/dg_10014897

If you feel isolated, have you considered volunteering, or even a small part time job where you get an opportunity to contribute and challenge yourself in different ways than in everyday life?

Job changes or even career changes are common so if you want to, it should be possible. Some people take further education with open university. Speaking from personal experience, some times, it is easy to think about the negative about a job but the we forget the positives (the grass isn't always greener), and when comparing current and potential jobs some times the conclusion is to stay put, (and it feels better after having made a comparison).

Regarding weight - If you find it hard to motivate yourself to go to the gym or for a run, perhaps a team sport may be for you. I'd recommend an "unusual" team sport one can start as an adult - all the benefits of being part of a team, without the need to be great at it already or pressure to perform! There are many clubs out there that take on complete beginners.

Regarding children - I think it is completely normal to feel ambivalent, and a lot of pressure regarding how you are "supposed" to feel. Lots of people have doubts, it is entirely normal to have doubts regarding big changes and decisions in life. If you are not planning children for the next 1 1/2 years, that is plenty of time to live a bit (whether or not you come to the conclusion at the end of it that you want kids). For example, if travel is your dream, can you plan an extended holiday for example in a year's time, and save up towards it?

I hope some of this can be of help to you!

Don't forget, you have a job, you are supporting your mother financially, and you are dealing with hearing loss - plenty of things to be proud of :-)

amalis

gonzo127 wrote: »

can i ask why you cant be having it?

do you judge people on if they have big hearing aids?

how about a white cain because they are blind? do you judge them?

if not why do you think others will judge you on your hearing aids?

I have to admit, I would not judge, but I would pity a blind young person. I don't want pity.
When people learn about someone with hearing problems they tend to talk to them as if they are having mental problems. I don't want that.

Gigglepig

amalis wrote: »

I have to admit, I would not judge, but I would pity a blind young person. I don't want pity.
When people learn about someone with hearing problems they tend to talk to them as if they are having mental problems. I don't want that.

I think that you may make a worse impression on people by not wearing a hearing aid when you need one, than by wearing one.

And, if it turns out that people talk to you as though you have mental problems, at least you hear it so that you can set them straight :-)

You certainly don't have to accept being spoken to like that. Instead of dropping the hearing aid, how about preparing a few responses so that you are prepared to deal with those sort of situations.

Millie2008_2

OP, would you consider going to your GP and asking to be referred for some counselling to explore all of this?

amalis

Gigglepig, thank you for understanding!
I have to agree, I probably make a bad impression on people. They think that I am cold and distant, which I am not at all. I like joking, I have really good sense of humour.. It really hurt me when the other day girls in my department went out for a lunch and I was not invited. I know it is not right, but I have this need to feel accepted.
Regarding my job, it is very stressful, but salary for my position is good. It will be difficult to match it if I would go looking for something. Sometimes I feel that it is too much, my friends noticed that I am too stressed since I took this job (2 years ago), but I can't afford to lose out on salary (because of mortgage and my mum).
What kind of "unusual" team sport you meant? I like this idea very much.

amalis

Millie2008 wrote: »

OP, would you consider going to your GP and asking to be referred for some counselling to explore all of this?

I would, but my GP refused to test me for allergies when I had anaphylactic shock 6 month ago, I don't think she will take seriously my problem like "I can't hear and I feel bad about it" :rotfl:

Millie2008_2

Sounds like you need to see a different GP, because that one sounds a bit useless! You have more than enough valid reasons for referral into a counselling service, not that anything is "wrong" with you, but you feel like you are losing yourself and you are committed to change. That could describe many of the referrals we get and you sound like an ideal candidate for some counselling

fannyanna

amalis wrote: »

I would, but my GP refused to test me for allergies when I had anaphylactic shock 6 month ago, I don't think she will take seriously my problem like "I can't hear and I feel bad about it" :rotfl:

See a different doctoer at your surgery.

amalis wrote: »

I have really good sense of humour

:T Can I just say well done for this. Being able to be kind to yourself and highlight a positive attribute when you're feeling down is really good.

amalis

Millie2008 wrote: »

Sounds like you need to see a different GP, because that one sounds a bit useless! You have more than enough valid reasons for referral into a counselling service, not that anything is "wrong" with you, but you feel like you are losing yourself and you are committed to change. That could describe many of the referrals we get and you sound like an ideal candidate for some counselling

Thanks Millie,
I'll try GP and see what she will say.

Gigglepig

amalis wrote: »

What kind of "unusual" team sport you meant? I like this idea very much.

Google is your friend, look for a list of activities/clubs in your area/town.

Depends entirely on your personality, interests, budget and how much time you want to spend.

Some of my friends do netball, hockey or other things they like from school. Some people I know (who were pretty unfit to begin with) started triathlon etc in their 30s/40s and really enjoy it.

Here in Scotland people do curling and Scottish dancing, perhaps there are other quirky sports or activities particular to your area?

Perhaps traditional dance/display teams if you like dance, horseball (niche equestrian team sport) or other riding activities if you like horses, Agility or dancing with dogs if you like/own/can borrow a dog, if you like American sports perhaps flag football or ice hockey, if you like the outdoors there are lots of "adventure race" type thing one can do as part of a team.

There are also many "individual" sports that can still be very sociable, because people train/play together. Marital arts, racket sports, zumba or other gym group classes, walking groups....