make do and mend for tougher times

savingqueen

Hello toughies! Phew finally caught up on a whole week's posts just now, read lots yesterday and realised I forgot to hit thanks each time so just painstakingly gone back to do that.

Wanted to say a really big thank you for all the thoughtful , kind and wise posts in response to my big moany post last week (Monday if I remember rightly) thanks to 2 tonsils, ginnyknit, kidcat, stiltwalker, pah and anyone else I've forgotten. I really appreciate you taking the time to reply in the way you all did. I have thought about getting DS2 referred somewhere but after much discussion with DH we have decided to see how things go for now - school are aware and he gets extra support (and much better teacher this year) and he doesn't go anywhere without us or rarely friends who also are very trustworthy and know the situation. I never stray far from base in case I get a phone call (never happenned yet). He had a really calm, incident free week so that's something in itself.

I'm plodding on goat stylee, have a cold which is a bit wearing but nothing I can't handle and in some ways nice as I haven't the energy to rush about and have caught up on here. Every cloud has a silver lining so the saying goes!

Bought some food shopping after school run, including some treats for us all and shop bought bread (have been proudly making my own for the last few weeks but too tired today). Made full use of my Aldi £5 off £35 spend voucher and will use the 2nd voucher in a couple of days time.

Unfortunately the reduced donoughts I bought to share with the kids have mysteriously vanished and err completely unrelated I have a rather queasy stomach _pale_.... just can't understand what's going on chez sq:) :rotfl:

Poor DH also has [STRIKE]a cold[/STRIKE] the flu so he is tucked up safely in bed whilst I just think about being tucked up in bed! To be fair he also has an upset stomach, was in and out of the bathroom all night long. Littlies also gone off to school with colds but not bad enough to stay home for. Today is school photo day. Last 2 years the photos came out really badly - hideously in fact and I refused to buy them (not cheap either). Hoping for better results this year.

Sending positive, warm wishes to everyone and hugs all round. Hope the job is going well fuddle and you are ok prepareathome - hope you feel able to post or not post as much as you want - we are thinking of you and here for you either way.

I had some many comments on the last week's posts but my cold addled brain has forgotten them all now doh! Hold on one does spring to mind - Mrs Chip I liked you post about perfection - really struck a chord with me. Half my troubles have been linked in some way to trying to be perfect and I am gradually letting go of some of it and striving to be imperfect lots more! "That'll do" is an underused phrase. There are times of course when you need to do your best and try your hardest but that's not the same as aiming for perfection I have finally grasped.

Better get back to pottering around with chores, then just time for hundredth cuppa before school run

look after yourselves - all for one and one for all!
sq:)

valk_scot

Just had my spendthrift neighbour round fot a cup of tea...we were getting in the bins and she looked so down I felt sorry for her. Now? Not so much. She's upset because her OH says they can't afford to go away with the rest of her family at Christmas. (Ten day trip to Boston to see US relatives.) This apparently is the end of the world, he's so mean, he's always grumping about money, they can't afford a new house yada yada.

TBH I knew it was going to be something like that, he earns at least twice what my OH does if not considerably more but she spends it at x5 the rate I do. If not considerably more! Complete new wardrobe for all of them every season, just about, constant redecorating, endless weekends away, meals out, takeaways , new car each every other year etc. It's absolutely astounding how much she spends but she's always complaining about not having enough money.

Gentle suggestions of "Budget?" fall on very stoney ground. She can't be expected to bring up her kids like paupers, apparently. I remind her that my kids go round in CS clothes at least half the time, me even more so but that's okay apparently because we don't mind that sort of thing. Etc. They eat out a lot because she doesn't like cooking (she's got a cleaner too btw), she buys all her food from M&S because she can't tolerate poor quality foodstuffs, she can't belive I would do anything like joint a chicken up or make soup from "scrapings", by which she means leftovers in the serving dishes. TBH she should be living in a much bigger house in the posh end of town on that income and if she was as thrifty as me she'd have been there years ago. So I'm not feeling very sympathetic today.

She's off to meet a friend for lunch now. I'm having the "scrapings" from last night's once per month Chinese takeaway for lunch and very nice it is too btw. Talking to her always makes me feel grateful btw, that we can wring so much out a limited income. But it's annoying as well to be thought of as a sort of lower form of life, less discerning than her. Scrapings indeed!

shegar

Popperwell wrote: »

I guess that's how i donate now by using the charity shops. I have to watch the cash. I'd love to win the lottery/Euro when I do it. I went for years not doing so and know that it will be a luxury in the future. I don't need millions but to live without penny pinching should I live for another twenty years or so(Boy will I be old:mad::()I'll need a fair bit to avoid needing help from the state and to pay for possible/probable care I'll need but I too like GQ would like to be able to help those less fortunate either on a personal level or to a charity I believe in.

Of course if I don't we all know who gets their hands on your money. In a way everything we own money, property or possesions, it is borrowed and usually goes back into the system. Whilst we live and after we are gone.

I don't have much to interest anyone...cs clothes, old furniture that has seen better days and by the time I go my electrical goods will only be good for the tip.

As there is only me and no family/friends I haven't even got around to arranging my funeral:(:eek::mad:

As there's only me I'm not sure I'm bothered...If I try and do a funeral plan they charge so much I haven't that kind of spare cash to find weekly. They don't allow you to vary the payments.

The only other way would be to save up at home until I think I have enough, it will pretty basic as a church service won't have anyone present to hear any eulogy.

Oh that's so sad...sorry(I don't feel sad even though I have written that)

Wow that was a very depressing post:eek:..No talk of death and funerals please........

I also do not give to charities any longer, if you give to one then they send your details to other charities and so it goes on, non stop begging for help.....We do get loads of plastic bags put through the door for clothes, which I dont bother with as once before I put a bag of clothes out and it just stood at the end of the drive and wasnt picked up ...........
I think most of us are struggling everyday now to live and worry about paying our household bills....

With no cash to spare for charities, actually I do buy from CS now and again , so yea I spose I do a little bit for them.........

maryb

I was about to write something about how much luckier you are than she is because she will never be content - but then I realised I don't really need to. Because, despite a momentary spasm of annoyance, you are content, aren't you?

kidcat

valk - I have a friend whose husband earns three times what my OH earns, and she earns almost as much as my OH. Their mortgage is half the monthly amount of ours and they only have three kids.
Yet she never has any money, she is really worried about the child benefit withdrawal as she says that she cannot afford to feed everyone without it - it astounds me, their house is smaller than ours and they have nothing to show for the money.
It took me ages to work out that the issues were the husband, he drinks, has to keep appearances up at work and whenever a new game or DVD comes out the kids get them.
Consequently they are upto their eyeballs in debt - last year things got really bad and I offered to go look and see if I could find savings - was thinking energy switch, insurances etc. She wouldnt even consider it though.

I have tried but she isnt interested in making changes so I now leave her to it and if she comments about money I steer conversation elsewhere.

I had a lovely half an hour of peace, and I really did need it. OH has rung to say they have traced problem with car to a faulty part so it should be back on road by later.

Fuddle - so glad it went well.

Took DS14 with me to shops earlier and he was pointing all the price rises too.
Went through some old bedding and have managed to put together a dog bed from the stuff we no longer use which has saved me ten pounds at least.

valk_scot

maryb wrote: »

I was about to write something about how much luckier you are than she is because she will never be content - but then I realised I don't really need to. Because, despite a momentary spasm of annoyance, you are content, aren't you?

I wouldn't mind my OH coming home with a 100% pay rise, lol! But yes, I'm content enough, we're all well and healthy and we've got the money for everything we genuinely need and some over for extras, though that extra bit gets smaller every year. It's just annoying though, she's got more than enough and then some and no appreciation of the fact, none at all.

Kidcat, I don't think they're in debt as such, just that they spend every penny they have on shiney new things. Or rather she does, he's perfectly happy with a pair of old jeans and taking the dogs for a walk down on the beach if she's away somewhere. He's a nice bloke, worships her and the kids, works his !!!! off for them. Goodness knows what she'd do if he had a heart attack or something and left them on their own. Yet she's always moaning about how mean he is about her "necessary" spending.

2tonsils

oooh just got my distance glasses from glasses direct...fabuloso!!!! I got two pairs of prescription sunglasses earlier this year from them and I was so pleased with the quality I ordered some ordinary ones (not tinted). I wear them for driving and riding the scooter, so asked for some frames that would fit under my crash helmet. They obliged and I got two pairs for 28 pounds and that included postage and a glasses case for each pair. Bargain!!!

They look really nice and dressy so I am well pleased. I thought I had missed the postman but when I walked out of the chemist he shouted me and gave me the parcel with glasses in and a late birthday card. Great stuff! I might even surrender my pride and wear them to watch the tv...it will mean I can read the tickertape on the Greek news without having to squint my eyes up to see the small Greek letters....

Byatt

Well, I've decided to get rid of my tv. I popped home today and was looking at the room through new eyes, and if the tv goes I can move the sofa and it will open the room. It's very small so needs all the opening I can give it! :rotfl:It means the inglenook will be a feature as will the wood burner. Need to move the fish tank out of the inglenook though otherwise poor little fishies will boil! :eek:

I'm going to give it to a friend and neighbour of my DD's. She's on her uppers but is really a very kind and supportive person with my DD. I could try and sell it, but to be honest, it would get maybe £50 if I was lucky. The money would be useful, but I feel better giving it to someone who will appreciate it.

Hope I don't regret this!!

The chickens produced a double yoker today! They lay about 5 eggs a day. They are lovely and are quite chatty with me.

savingqueen

2tonsils - glad your OH managed to get what he needed from the docs.

val - we all know someone like your neighbour don't we?! beggars belief! I try and be an openminded, tolerant and anti-prejudiced sort of person - as best as I can be as an imperfect being BUT I have to confess I have little if any patience, sympathy or tolerance for people like your neighbour.

My DS1 is learning about Robin Hood at school, great fun acting out the story with lots of props and he comes home and recites stuff off by heart to us and both sons spend hours role playing it. I wish I could be a modern day Robin Hood sometimes and redistribute wealth a bit more fairly. I would love to win the lottery (wouldn't we all ) but not to spend it all madly (though a few luxuries would be really appreciated) but to share it with others who need it more than we do. I would get far more pleasure giving it all away than wasting it on designer stuff. In my head I plan endlessly how I would set up my own charity and employ people who need a break to get a job and use the money really wisely to do maximum good. In a previous life I was a charitable grants officer and so I know a bit about how to set up and run a successful charity. Sorry I'm waffling now.

Our two cats are curled up together in a ball on the sofa - reminds me of a sort of of ying and yang symbol, one is beige/stripy and the other black. The snoring is really loud too!

Right off to smarten myself up, take dressing gown off at least before collecting littlies. Poor DH has just been sick, hope its not the start of a migraine, he can get them for days on end.

fuddle - glad the first day went well :T

I have loved having the time to read/post today, wish I could keep it up every day

sq:)

valk_scot

Finished 95% of the chores, sorted out the dinner and am now waiting for DD to come home from school so I can shove a snack in her mouth as she changes and then get her to hockey practice. She loves hockey and the local area cluster team gets a grant from the council so it's practically free but it's a horribly tight turnaround on Mondays. And it's only an hour, hardly worth coming home while she's there. Sometimes I go to the post office if I have parcels, or the dump which is also nearby but just as often I sit in the car by the pitch and have a snooze for an hour. Or do some knitting or read a book. Little pleasures....

ETA: Just realised how terribly snobby hockey sounds and as if I'm one of these terribly posh parents sitting cheering on young Jemima from the hood of the Landrover, lol. Perish the thought...council team run on a shoestring budget and me and my six year old Mondeo estate. Once we went to a tournament and they nearly didn't let DD play because she wasn't in regulation shorts, I ended up taking a somewhat outgrown pair of black joggers out the CS bag in the back of the car and cutting them down to shorts with the scissors in my knitting bag, lol. Jemima would have died of embarrassment....