make do and mend for tougher times

charlies-aunt

mardatha wrote: »

Just read that link somebody posted to the Craven herald - it seems the next govt inspired witchhunt is against pensioners. Which, when you look at it, is the only group not yet affected ! They have already cut out of the herd -
the sick
the unemployed
the working age claimants of WTC and CTC
the working age non-claimants via wage freezes/cuts
..and now the only ones left, the pensioners who have worked all their days.

In a time of uncertainty, one thing is certain - no-one is safe.

The next grand plan (its already "under discussion" - DWP/Govt speak for "plans already being forced through") is to stop all HB for all claimants aged 25 and under, regardless of circumstances. They have already made a start on this by hiking up the age for single room allowance from 25 to 35.

Pensioners form a large percentage of the pro-conservative vote so certainly for the short term, will enjoy protected rights. Although as the pensionable age rises and rises - (it will eventually rise to 70) more and more people will die whilst still of working age and never live to draw a pension.

I feel very gloomy about the future, the gap between the haves and have-nots is becoming a chasm and I wonder if we will eventually see the introduction of complusory state run hostels/training institutions for benefit claimants..... turning the clock back to the workhouse system.

I'm with the stocking-up-for-a-siege brigade - times will be getting tougher and tougher

savingqueen

GreyQueen wrote: »

It's the height of rudeness to spend someone's money for them, or to hold the happy day hostage so that only big spenders can afford to attend. Even if you both had well-paid jobs, she doesn't know the inner circumstances of your life and what expenditures you have or plans you are saving hard for.

India Knight's The Thrift Book is well worth a browse and she has some pithy and scathing comments on those who ratchet up weddings and stag and hen nights into a weekend at a blinking spa or a week in Prague. I remember one of them; Your friends are happy for you but they're not that happy.

I was unimpressed when a cousin of mine who had willfully separated herself from the family to the extent that we only vaguely knew what town she was living in, suddenly recalled she had kinfolks when she wanted to get married. She hosted an "engagement party" and made it clear that gifts were expected. It was just a meet in the public bar of her local, not so much as a sausage roll or a packet of crisps and buy your own drinks.

I wouldn't have any truck with it and when the wedding invitation came thru shortly after (expectation of more gifts made clear) my name was mysteriously omitted. Gosh, terribly upset and all that - not!

The kicker as a few years later when Cousin was talking to Mum about the very expensive iron she'd got at her wedding (she'd demanded a certain make and model btw) and Mum said dryly I know it's a good iron because I was the one who bought it for you.

oh the irony!! sorry couldn't resist!!

Here here. Perfectly said GreyQueen - as usual! When DH & I got hitched we had a no-frills affair but very personal and special for us. We had just close family to the registry office, paid for a pub lunch at a nearby pub in a pretty spot after.

Then back to our house, changed out of wedding dress and bossed everyone about for an hour putting last touches to our self-catered spread (could have invited the whole street along to with the amount of it), back into dress, glass of champers each and then about another 50 to a party (hot summer's day so sprawled out into our little front and back gardens.)

There was tons of food, booze and soft drinks. Some people crashed out at ours (DH & I didn't care as we went to a hotel for our wedding night ) We made it clear that it a low-key affair so no fancy outfits, pressies etc needed. I didn't want anyone unable to come because of costs. Virtually everyone came, included my skint friend who gave us an IOU for a gift and some months later we received a small gift from her.

I think its so wrong to put pressure on guests to fork out silly amounts of money - some people forget they are getting married with the intention of staying together for a long period of time not just to show off for one day.

sq:)

kidcat

savingqueen - I have noticed a trend that the bigger the wedding and fuss surrounding the shorter the marriage, its more about the day than the years following.

A friend of ours got married the year after us ( so 9 yrs ago) they were divorced 3 yrs later. He then remarried 2 yrs later and was divorced within the yr, landing back with wife number 1.

Each wedding was huge fuss and expense, which just seems a waste. When I buy something for the house I consider its life expectancy, and the value I am getting. I cant imagine spending £20k on a marriage that lasts a year or two at best.

savingqueen

stiltwalker wrote: »

OH and I are getting married in half term (arranged so as to make it as easy as possible for family) we are having a simple do at the registry office with a small family meal after and a ceilidh in the village hall in the evening. That is far more 'us' and will also keep our costs down. We are not having a wedding list as we have all the stuff we need so it seems selfish to ask for a load of things we don't need, particularly when we know many of our friends are not terribly well off. Instead we are asking our friends and family to contribute their time, maybe helping out in the kitchen to dish up the pie and peas supper or talents like hairdressing or baking or failing all else to bring alcohol for the evening. That way we all get a good day without anyone having to spend a bundle.

Been off to buy the fabric for mine and DD's dresses with my mum today while my dad babysat the kids - I'm going to make my own, a 1950's number in a deep red, and my mum is going to make DD's, same red proper little girl's party dress style together with a simpler dress in the same fabric for spare/the evening do! The Asian fabric store we went to also a big table of fabrics for £1 a yard so just had to buy the odd yard (or 11!) for my bag making - not often you see fabric at that price these days.

ETA: Pooky - well said, I knew I liked your posting style!

congratulations stiltwalker! your wedding plans sound great, similar in lots of ways to ours - just posted about it in response to GQ's reply.

sq:)

meanmarie

PAH...you can have a bed here if you want......will leave the key under the mat....

I never seem to imagine what people look like, just am often disappointed when they look 'wrong' on meeting them....what kind of mind does that show??

Fuddle, Byatt and everyone else....you are all wonderful and I wouldnt miss my daily read for anything, even if I don't post often.

Sleep well

Marie

savingqueen

kidcat wrote: »

savingqueen - I have noticed a trend that the bigger the wedding and fuss surrounding the shorter the marriage, its more about the day than the years following.

A friend of ours got married the year after us ( so 9 yrs ago) they were divorced 3 yrs later. He then remarried 2 yrs later and was divorced within the yr, landing back with wife number 1.

Each wedding was huge fuss and expense, which just seems a waste. When I buy something for the house I consider its life expectancy, and the value I am getting. I cant imagine spending £20k on a marriage that lasts a year or two at best.

good points kidcat. most of friends with modest weddings are still going strong but others with expensive weddings have divorced. though not always the case, a friend had an eye-wateringly expensive Greek wedding many years ago and still happy together.

really must sign off now, supposed to have an early night as well. can't stop posting last couple of days, love it but goodness its time consuming. stopped me eating biccys though

BED WOMAN! shuffles off......

sq:)

smileyt_2

Am I the last one up?

*Switches lights off and closes door behind her.*

GreyQueen

First one in. (switches on light and tea urn and coffee percolator and lays out plates of biccies).

I've been awake for over an hour (attributable to the full moon)so have given up on trying to sleep and decided to amuse myself online.

Hardup_Hester

Morning GQ
Hubby is back on the early shift today & tomorrow so I'm about to drop him off at work, save me a buscuit, I'll be back soon.
Hester

Pooky

Wasn't the moon stunning last night?!? We sat on our garden swing, in our double sleeved blanket (thanks to whoever posted that link), a small glass of brandy in hand (I sneezed once yesterday so it was purely medicinal you understand;)) and watched the clouds whiz zing past the moon, 'twas lovely.

Our wedding was understated and just perfect, a friend however decided to re-mortgage her house to fund a lavish wedding. 3 years down the line their income has dropped, they can't afford the repayments and are very quickly becoming a very unhappy couple.....all for the sake of one day. But hey, each to their (rather strange) own.

Going loft digging later, doing a boot sale tomorrow and need to dig out a few more bits and bobs. DDs will be running the stall and have cleared their bedrooms of anything they no longer want, they even managed to Hoover the entire house yesterday without being asked. DD2 went so far as to do her basket of washing and hang it on the line, she then brought it in, folded and put away what she could and deposited stuff in the ironing basket....not next to it, not flung on the chair behind it but neatly folded, in the basket. :eek: