make do and mend for tougher times

MrsCD

fuddle - hope you don't mind me popping in, but I was so annoyed at your sis & hubby. I was a SAHM for many years when our DDs were young, and I don't regret one minute of it. We managed on one wage, and the only help we had was child benefit. I had 'comments' at times by relatives who went out to work, and yes, sometimes it hurt. We didn't have expensive holidays away every year, but we did have lots of days out going to places where their friends and relatives had never been to, and they learned far more than if they had gone to a beach and sunbathed all week! We did lots of 'crafty' things and they grew up to be fine young women ( but then I'm probably biased!)

monnagran

Had to call in to say to Fuddle that no-one, NO-ONE works harder than a SAHM. I made the choice to stay at home with my boys until the youngest was 8, OK they were both at school but I was always at the school gate to meet them and at home if one of them was ill. Financially it was a struggle and sometimes I yearned for more adult conversation but I had good friends and and it's where and when I practised all my OS skills.
Everything, but everything was made from scratch and the boys and I had the most enormous fun. All the neighbourhood children came to play at ours, (one little chap was stealthily moving in, he was bringing his toys up bit by bit and storing them in DS1's room!) We had no money and were living in a very affluent area but had the most fun.

My boys are now in their 40s but still talk fondly about their childhood. My youngest said to me only the other day that it was 'magical' and the best thing was that I was always there. This will be your legacy to your children and however hard it is now you will reap the rewards later.
I wonder if your sister will have as close a bond with her children as you will with yours.
No amount of money replaces the time you have with your children - enjoy it while it lasts.

Sermon over.

All you lucky people who have access to A*dis, count your blessings. It would take a couple of hours and cost a bomb to get to our nearest and I do miss it.

craigywv

Hi FUDDLE , i too am a sahm and like yourself my DH is the breadwinner, i would not change it for the world!!! i had my son 9 yrs ago and had him in work with me from 4 days old (family business so could do this) he came to work 9-5 for 3 yrs until nursery age then his gran took over, i worked 4 yrs letting her do it all nursery, doctors etc....then i woke up one day thinking i am missing out on my sons childhood so handed in notice to my dad lol and havent went back since. i plan to go back in sept 9-3 so i am at the gate to collect him in car and i can honestly say it was the best descision i have ever made. my mum had the 3 of us with her ...granted she collected us from school then brought us back to work in the shop with dad so we never missed them always together. dont worry about sis mine the same career girl...u no the type world revolves around her lol love her really but i would rather be u than your sis xx

prepareathome

Veiws of peoples experiances and thougths on ESA are being sought for those in Northern Ireland

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Evie74_2

Evening all

Finally managed to turf DH off the computer - he's "discovered" FB (whereas I am just bored with it now!) :rotfl:

Fuddle- don't take any notice of people's remarks. You are doing right by your family and being a SAHM is not a soft option. If it makes you feel any better I was informed by someone at the tax credits office yesterday that I am not classed as working because I only work 22 hours a week :eek: - I am not sure what they think I am doing then!!:mad: The upshot is that we will lose our WTC - I am not sure how it will work out figures-wise but it doesn't sound like good news .

DH has an appt with the Job Centre tomorrow - fingers crossed they will confirm that he is entitled to contributions-based JSA. He's dreading it - they want him to bring in mountains of paperwork as well.

Not much to report on the OS front - it's been a long, long day so dinner was Freezer Surprise (hurrah for home-made "ready meals" - it's days like this when I am glad that I bother to batch cook)

Hope you've all had good days; hope to catch up more tomorrow

Evie xx

kidcat

Fuddle - I agree being a SAHM is so much harder than any other job I have done, and I have done some really tough jobs.
I regularly get comments about being a SAHM but I am inclined to think its jealousy - if only people knew how hard it was they wouldnt be so quick to judge

Alot of the mums at school have expensive holidays all over the world - but when they get there they sit by the pool and never leave the complex, I would go crazy. When we go on holiday (only in UK) we are out doing stuff and exploring.


ETA - Evie you need 24 hrs a week working now to be able to claim - there are loads of people who have been affected as their employer simply cannot give them extra hours and there are no other jobs available.

the_cake

Hullo toughies
I am having a sad time this evening: one of my two cats has been losing weight and being very clingy recently, so today I took him to the vet (again - been twice recently, had blood tests and things) and he could feel a growth ... he is an old (originally a rescue) cat, so all I can do now is spoil him, give him lots of love and when the time comes, do the right thing by him. He has been a wonderful comfort and companion to us through some very tough times, and we will miss his furry, purry presence enormously. My OH is working away this week ... wish he was here to share this. I don't know how quickly the cat will deteriorate ... at the moment he is snoozing and purring on my lap.
Thanks for "listening" ... and love to all of you wrestling with your own sadnesses and worries. xxxx

prepareathome

((((Cake)))) sending my love to you

Popperwell

elona wrote: »

Pops

The tealight holders are lovely.

You''ll succeed with your bread making. I still have times when my bread goes a little wrong.

Thanks about the holders. I have lit one now just as a test and even one lights the bedroom and gives a gentle lightaround the room so I think they are safe and a success.

The cake thinking of you, such times are precious even if sad...

Popperwell

monnagran wrote: »

All you lucky people who have access to A*dis, count your blessings. It would take a couple of hours and cost a bomb to get to our nearest and I do miss it.

I will use the one in town but if I am having a big shop and want variety I will have to use a taxi(adding £24 to the shop:()but as this other branch had more variety and an Iceland in the same location what can you do?

If I avoid 4 small taxi rides on the town for bits and pieces but do a big shop it may pay for itself. It is a bit annoying though.

Then again whilst I can and if it means I am spending what I am entitled to and keeping with the rules perhaps I should just do it even though it's a pity that good money could be used towards more importnat things or would be lovely to have as savings for when things get tight or go belly up as they surely will...

And that includes people who work(lose jobs)or are affected by the income of a partner, increases in rent and food, the ill, transport to and from work or to get around generally...It's everyone.