make do and mend for tougher times

mardatha

Broughton is between Peebles and Biggar, quite a bit away from Edinburgh RD.

Cheapskate

fuddle wrote: »

My sister is expecting her second child in the next couple of months. She thinks it's going to be a breeze as she' now an experienced mam. Deary me, she's in for a shock. She doesn't let her DH have his own life when she's at home because if she's at home with her little one then so should he as it's not fair. If she has time off work she send her little girl to nursery so she can relax. When we're out together her little girl is encouraged to want to be with Aunty (me) so she can wander round the shops freely while I have 3 children. I'd say no, and should but my niece likes being with me and my girls. Her little one gets her own way all of the time just so my sister doesn't have to listen to whinge. My sis, 3 years younger than me is selfish and very immature. I think she doesn't like the idea I can stay at home and I think she's a little jealous of my hands on approach, my mothering style and my two little bright, well mannered, well behaved little girls. So it hurt a bit, I was annoyed at the comment but deep down I knew it was because she has her own envious issues with what is going on in my home

I think you're right - your family/friends do sound envious of your skills and situation. Thing is, some mums who work could afford to either work less or not at all if they really want to be with their families - it's a matter of prioritising and being OS enough to still pay the bills with less money coming in! Don't shoot me down in flames, please, I'm not saying we should all not work, or that we don't need to (I know so many who HAVE to work to make ends meet), but it is possible to scale things down a bit to have more quality time.

fuddle - just think, if your niece likes being with you then you must be doing something she enjoys - maybe doing "stuff" is more interesting than shopping all the time! :rotfl: You're doing brilliantly, keep it up! :j

I've been a SAHM on and off all my life, never worked full time outside home since before I had kids, currently have a new job, 2 days a week, which is more than enough with a 5 year old and nearly-3 year old. Would prefer not to work at all, but DH works for himself and we do need a bit extra to balance the books, the littlies are in school/playschool term time, and I get time with other adults, so it's working for now!

A xo

SpikyHedgehog

fuddle wrote: »

Come the dark evenings I'll have my tealights on almost nightly pops. I have a large stock because of this and replace the bag once it's done, with a couple 100 sat there in case of emergencies. I also have 5 boxes of matches :cool:

Loved the Great BBO. Had both DD's down watching it. There were engrossed although the little one went to bed near the end as was too tired. I'm so keen to involve them in the fun aspects of OS when they're little. I feel the need to pass it all on to them. It's about life skills really I guess.

We're going to make an upside down cake for pudding tomorrow. The nice thing about the balloon whisk is that they can do some whisking when we bake. I felt the electric mixer kind of took the fun out of baking with the kids.

Had a bit of a grrrrrr experience before. Was on phone to sister. We were talking about the pension age and that we still had 35+ years to work. She shouted into her husband that I have 35 years to work and laughed. I heard him say 'she just needs to get to work full-stop'. He must mean as I'm a SAHM. I'm not at all lazy. I'm a hard worker, a provider and an organiser. I do a multitude of jobs each day for my family. I work dammed hard I just don't get paid. My DH supports us. What is their problem.

Anyway, it's their problem, maybe jealousy for whatever reason I don't care to know. Just grrrrrr.

Off to read pooky's blog now. I had a quick squizz before, I think she's a girl after my own heart

Fuddle, being a full time mum or dad as you are is the hardest & most important job in the world. I think your sister has a big wake up call when she has 2 children!

Evie74 wrote: »

Evening all

Finally managed to turf DH off the computer - he's "discovered" FB (whereas I am just bored with it now!) :rotfl:

Fuddle- don't take any notice of people's remarks. You are doing right by your family and being a SAHM is not a soft option. If it makes you feel any better I was informed by someone at the tax credits office yesterday that I am not classed as working because I only work 22 hours a week :eek: - I am not sure what they think I am doing then!!:mad: The upshot is that we will lose our WTC - I am not sure how it will work out figures-wise but it doesn't sound like good news .

DH has an appt with the Job Centre tomorrow - fingers crossed they will confirm that he is entitled to contributions-based JSA. He's dreading it - they want him to bring in mountains of paperwork as well.

Not much to report on the OS front - it's been a long, long day so dinner was Freezer Surprise (hurrah for home-made "ready meals" - it's days like this when I am glad that I bother to batch cook)

Hope you've all had good days; hope to catch up more tomorrow

Evie xx

Evie, does your 22 hours include any lunch or other breaks?

Popperwell wrote: »

Nice idea...

I have been having a think(I did have a chat with Mum's brother and wife and even though they are older than me they are my next of kin so they say I should get a will made and have them as my executors of my will. I assuming I live for at least another 15 years(sadly Mum's brother would be 95 if he's still here and his wife would be 83...

I wasn't going to bother with a will as i have no family or friends so did not really care what happens when I am no longer here as I won't know anything...

I then thought as it is unlikely anyone would come to a funeral service is there any point arranging a funeral etc...let them use any worldly goods I have(won't be much)or let the authority do it again because I won't be around to care...

But I am debating whether to take out a funeral plan whilst I can and again it's using my money for a good reason and I am spending it...these things have to be done, I'd a service and some words said and some music but there probably would only by a vicar present so probably going straight to the cremetorium...

Anyone had to deal with such matters...debating whether to go with the co-op or have you had better deals with local funeral directors rather than national outlets...

Anyone know if you change plans if things change such as if you suddenly did meet someone and had a relationship. It's not likely in my case unless I sign up to a Dating Agency:rotfl:Its more likely as I get older I'll end up in care or need medical help...oh how miserable...

Pops, why don't you get a sofa anyway? You will live somewhere whatever happens, so if you want a sofa, get 1!

I believe if you leave some money to them, charitys can be executors? Worth finding out about I should think.

Popperwell

kittie wrote: »

doh, this is called ducking and diving in order to `hide` savings

That's why I asked...because I don't know what it will come to until I use the electric and gas and that could change each month even if paying a set amount and I want to be right. I hate having to take state help...and yet without it...

Thanks for the ideas about shopping Fuddle...

In fact a lot of what I wrote earlier can be disregarded...I say I can doings now but I keep forgetting when Mum's savings come through my income drops by over half...then I'll be paying full rent, probably full CT and we know that next year there is the bedroom tax and the change to DLA which changes to PIP and no guarantees you'll get it, then if you don't whether you'll go on one of the ESA schemes or JSA or whatever. Then all these changes may mean HB will be affected also.

We also know that IS will be scrapped to so I really have no idea what's going on...hope I can keep a roof over my head. As I really have no family/friends. I couldn't expect Mum's brother in his 80's to take me on...no wonder I worry...

I don't think the CAB could advise me at present because a lot of the changes are up in the air...can't think of anyone else to ask to be perfectly honest, doubt the DWP would even know at present.

My worry is that I will be left with nowhere to live...

paidinchickens

Morning everyone

Been in a lot of upheaval lately.

The drive is nearly finished and we just have to wait for the "whacker" to whack one part and then it will be done :j Free blocks, cost plus 10% hardcore and sand so most definitely a shoestring project.

Bathroom finished, cheap (very cheap) tiles and £100 for the tile man (desperate for money) who tiled and provided all the adhesive :j

Finally the Berlin wall (wall between kitchen and dining room) has finally come down :j

We are still under £400 but hubby has altered and adapted reduced cabinets and tackled odd sizes and shaped doors to bring it under the fraction of the price it should have been.


Granddaughter has now turned up so will fill you in on the rest later.

PiC x

Pooky

Fuddle - it's pure jealousy. I have friends that think I've had the life of riley as I've been a SAHM, they also seem to think I'm deprived in some way as I don't have foreign holidays or go off to big shopping centres at weekends and horror of horror my girls don't have branded clothing. These are the same friends that work themselves silly, moan constantly about how little "me" time they have and are up to their necks in credit cards and car loans. I think they've lost their way, they work to fund a lifestyle but then moan about how life is so hard.

I love my life, granted I'd prefer it if DH wasnt suffering all of his disabilities and issues but even so we have a nice, simple life. We've used our income wisely, the girls have been brought up to be kind, loving and strong individuals rather than a sheep following the crowd of designer clothing. Don't get me wrong, they're teenagers and they lust after some thing's, they save birthday money and pocket money and learn to appreciate just how much these things actually cost.

We have a beautiful home, it's cosy and inviting and I get great pleasure from being here. Every day I get a buzz of contentment from my life, what more could I ask for.

Possession

Pooky wrote: »

Fuddle - it's pure jealousy. I have friends that think I've had the life of riley as I've been a SAHM, they also seem to think I'm deprived in some way as I don't have foreign holidays or go off to big shopping centres at weekends and horror of horror my girls don't have branded clothing. These are the same friends that work themselves silly, moan constantly about how little "me" time they have and are up to their necks in credit cards and car loans. I think they've lost their way, they work to fund a lifestyle but then moan about how life is so hard.

I love my life, granted I'd prefer it if DH wasnt suffering all of his disabilities and issues but even so we have a nice, simple life. We've used our income wisely, the girls have been brought up to be kind, loving and strong individuals rather than a sheep following the crowd of designer clothing. Don't get me wrong, they're teenagers and they lust after some thing's, they save birthday money and pocket money and learn to appreciate just how much these things actually cost.

We have a beautiful home, it's cosy and inviting and I get great pleasure from being here. Every day I get a buzz of contentment from my life, what more could I ask for.

That's really good to read Pooky. I have the same feelings toward branded clothing etc and am trying to teach the children that such things don't matter (well DD really, DS couldn't care less what he wears!). It's made slightly more difficult in that DH's brother and sister are both very well off now, and enjoy buying designer clothes and such like. SIL keeps buying DD Juicy Couture clothes for birthdays and christmas, and I can't say too much in case she parrots it in front of them, but she's a sensible girl and will be OK I think. I wouldn't offend SIL for anything, she's lovely but she moves in a different world to us. And though they have lots of money and go to prestigious private schools, her three children are very grounded, kind, polite children.

fuddle

I guess it's all about the parenting. Whether you have money or not has no regard on how you teach children basic politeness, manners, appreciation or sense of fun. Money, or lack of, has no regard on the feeling of safety within a childhood... life experiences do but not wholly lack of money. A grounded child with good grounded values will go far in life and by that I don't mean high flying this or that. I strive for contentment. That is all I wish for.

Jeeesh. Well shopping came. 1 months worth of basics and two children wanting to help. Disaster for mam, fun for the kids. I feel like I've been through the mill with it all.

All put away, cuppa tea, 3 digestives to dunk (yes 3 but I have lost 2lbs this week :j ) kids with milk and biscuits (1 each - typical do as I say not as I do :rotfl: ) while eatching TV. Alfie in the garden with cheese in his kong and I can now breeeeeeeeeeeeathe!

Going to bake up some bread and get this pineapple upside down pudding done with the girls to go in too.

Then bathroom cleaning and sorting the pants and sock pile. I need a lie down smiley!

Bigjenny

Pops about your question on funeral plans

My DH and I bought funeral plans a few years ago and when he died suddenly I was grateful for the plan as I knew I didn't have to find the money, although I had to pay a little extra as we only had a basic plan.

After looking round and doing some research on the internet we went with a local funeral director who had arranged our daughters funeral.

There are usually several different plans, and prices accordingly.

When I moved to a different part of the country I was able to transfer the plan to a local firm.

I am not sure but I think that a funeral plan does not count as savings when claiming benefits but please check.

Please think about making a will.

Also if you have a will and funeral plan make sure that someone knows about it.

HTH

Jenny

Popperwell

Thank you for that Jenny...

I have got myself in a panic as I have talked to The Money Advice Service this morning who then put me onto another service called Turn2Us but neither really told me anything I do not know already.

But they have not stopped my fears about the future regarding whether I will keep a roof over my head and what may happen regarding changes in benefits coming in and how to proceed and they have put me back to...the CAB again.

But getting even a phone call let alone an appointment is so difficult. Lines are busy, it can take 3 weeks or more to get an appointment.

People keep saying I should not be made homeless but that's easy to say...