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When I get Older

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  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 12,492 Forumite
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    Downsizing can happen without involving the house. I mean, I have become aware of maybe one day having to live in a much smaller dwelling, so I started today and have already sold one book on amazon for £18.50 (they pay postage) and have listed two more for a total of £50. In future it will be things like my overlocker and card making stuff but I am waiting until my grandchildren are old enough first as I would rather give good stuff to family

    Slow but steady for me, I am 64 and feel very healthy, ride my bike and work my allotment. Mentally very aware too but bombshells can happen at any time

    Take my large assortment of lovely candles, they will last for years and years so daughters are getting them, one at a time so it doesn`t overwhelm me or them :)
  • PoorCharleyBear
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    My mother recently died, so this programme was quite poignant.

    She had Alzheimer's but it was her request -before this- to never go into a nursing home.

    She lived in sheltered accom and everyone commented how lucky she was to have so many visitors and go out every weekend. I have 2 siblings and we shared the visiting rota. My mother's adult grandchildren did not bother though (living 2-3 miles away).


    I found it sad that so many elderly folk never have visitors, but know that full time caring for an elderly person with too many health needs would be almost impossible for me. There is no easy solution.
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 17,413 Forumite
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    I too found it very sad that some folk had few if any relatives who bothered.I am so very lucky to have my two DDs and the grandchildren, and although I do have some difficuty with mobility, it doesn't stop me looking after four of my grandsons aged from 8-16 before and after school, and during the holidays .They keep me on my toes, especially the youngest one as his permanat questions usually start with 'Why?,what @ when'

    I loved the elderly chap who although in his 90s was as bright as a button.I agree that to keep as active and interest as you can must help 'keep your marbles' I sadly have friends younger than me who seem to be drifting away a bit, and have become quite 'detached' from life.I think everyone has 'senior moments' but keeping as alert as you can, I read a lot and have a wide range of interests from history ,genealogy,writing and adult ed which I hope keeps the 'grey matter ' moving.
    None of us know whats around the corner for us and like death, old age is something which will come to us all. I am the wrong side of 65 and hope to keep on going as long as I can I have far too much to do and see to just give up and sit back and do nothing .My day usually starts at around 6-6.30 and finishes when I go to bed around 11.00 p.m. Then I read for a bit before sleeping:DI never seem to have enough hours in the day to get everything done that I would like to, and my 'to-do' list is at times fairly lengthy.But if it keeps me away from losing it I will be happy.my ambition is to get to at the very least 90+ :)
    Cheers folks for all your replys
  • Torry_Quine
    Torry_Quine Posts: 18,845 Forumite
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    I loved the piece where John Simpson told the manager that he wasn't one of her patients and could find his room. He then spent the next few minutes wandering around trying to find it. :rotfl:
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
  • Errata
    Errata Posts: 38,230 Forumite
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    I was quite surprised that Simpson thought the residents were patients! Was it explained why the woman Hunniford was with received no help from her children?
    .................:)....I'm smiling because I have no idea what's going on ...:)
  • lessonlearned
    lessonlearned Posts: 13,337 Forumite
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    JackieO wrote: »
    I too found it very sad that some folk had few if any relatives who bothered.I am so very lucky to have my two DDs and the grandchildren, and although I do have some difficuty with mobility, it doesn't stop me looking after four of my grandsons aged from 8-16 before and after school, and during the holidays .They keep me on my toes, especially the youngest one as his permanat questions usually start with 'Why?,what @ when'

    I think what best sums this up is that old quote "As you sow so shall ye reap:. Or to give it a modern take "Karma".

    I always love reading your posts Jackie - you sound like a lovely person and your family sound delightful. You all seem so loving and caring towards each other. You help your daughter and also help out with caring for your grandchildren. You sound generous and considerate. I doubt very much that you will be lonely in your later years.

    However, not all old ladies are sweet old ladies and not all elderly gentlemen are nice kindly old gentlemen.

    I worked as a manager in a sheltered housing complex and I thoroughly enjoyed the work, met some lovely people (and some not quite so lovely).

    I'm afraid to say that many (not all of course) of those who were neglected and ignored by their families had often brought it on themselves, by their treatment of those same families when they were younger and by generally just being not particularly nice people in the first place.

    Not all of them were nasty people by inclination. Sometimes illnesses such as dementia can change someones character beyond recognition which is why it can be so difficult for families to care for them. The loved one becomes a complete stranger.

    And of course, as one of my dear lady residents pointed out - she had simply outlived all her family and friends. "I'm the last one left" she told me.

    The thing that always fascinated me was the difference in the way people age and also the actual rate of ageing. I had ladies in their 90's who were as bright as buttons and residents in their early 60's who were physical and mental wrecks. I think it's partly genetics but I do think a lot of it is down to lifestyles and mental attitude.

    I do agree it's very important to try and keep healthy, active and mentally alert for as long as possible. I think the best maxim is "Use it or lose it". However, none of us know what's round the corner, illness or accidents can strike at any time, often out of the blue. I think we just have to live life to the max and celebrate each day.

    Going back to the programme, the lady who was caring for her husband who had suffered a series of strokes was particularly poignant for me. I cared for my husband for 6 years and had to give up just 6 months ago and allow him to go into care, so I fully understood just exactly what she was going through. I hope she enjoys her cruise - she deserves it.

    I felt a bit sorry for John Simpson - he was clearly out of his depth plus I think it gave him a glimpse into what his own future might hold and it seemed to terrify him. I thought Lesley Joseph was lovely.

    I agree that I was surprised that as regards to the lady who was teamed with Gloria Hunniford they didn't discuss the issue of older people getting into debt. It's a lot more common than people like to admit.

    I watched this programme with my 25 year old son. He agreed with me - if the lady had 5 adult children surely they could each have contributed a few pounds a week. I know my father and his siblings did something similar to help their elderly parents.

    To be fair though her daughter and granddaughter did bring round some groceries.

    It was an interesting programme though and it just goes to show that not all "Baby Boomers" are rolling in money and that as a society we need to get a grip on how we are going to cope with an ever increasing ageing population.

    For myself - I agree I would very much like an "off switch" when the time comes. :o
  • roddydogs
    roddydogs Posts: 7,478 Forumite
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    But EVERYBODY says "Im not going into a home"............so how are there people in them?
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 17,413 Forumite
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    I think it was quite an eye-opener for Leslie Joseph and she seemed to be less judgmental than the other three.John Simpson I agree was terrified that he might be 'taken ' for one of the folk in there.Having a busy lifestyle jetting around the world won't help if its lurking in the background.I have a friend who is one of the nicest folk you could meet, but to try and get her to discuss anything, perhaps in the news, or whats going on outside her house is very difficult .She has become increasingly inward looking and although her health and mobility is good she just doesn't seem to make as much effort as she used to We used to years ago chat about politics and stuff in the news but now if I bring things up she just says 'oh I can't be bothered with all of that'.She doesn't go out very often and has her stuff delivered to her door.Her mobility is far superior to mine yet its as through she is withdrawing into her shell a bit.She has said she thinks I mad for doing all what I do for the family and how I'm always off 'gallivanting around' but I like to make to effort to go out and meet people and talk to my neighbours.You are so right use it or lose it I tried to get her to have a go on the computer and shes said 'Oh I'm far too old to be doing all that ' She is four years younger than I am ! I don't know what the answer is maybe I do too much but I hope I am still alert and a use to my family for many more years to come
  • margaretclare
    margaretclare Posts: 10,789 Forumite
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    JackieO, I too know people like that.
    [FONT=Times New Roman, serif]Æ[/FONT]r ic wisdom funde, [FONT=Times New Roman, serif]æ[/FONT]r wear[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]ð[/FONT] ic eald.
    Before I found wisdom, I became old.
  • PennyForThem_2
    PennyForThem_2 Posts: 1,036 Forumite
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    kittie wrote: »
    Downsizing can happen without involving the house. I mean, I have become aware of maybe one day having to live in a much smaller dwelling, so I started today and have already sold one book on amazon for £18.50 (they pay postage) and have listed two more for a total of £50.

    That IS interesting - how did you know how much to charge for the books?

    Think I need to investigate amazon. Not eBay then? I don't want to move from my house but I do want to get rid of stuff (after checking with children that they don't want it).
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