When I get Older
in Over 50s MoneySaving
40 replies 4.2K views
[Deleted User] ForumiteNewbie
I know its not really money saving but did anyone see the two programmes this week about the elderly on t.v. I wonder what you all thought about them.Money seemed to be the root of most of the problems and the lack of it for care.I know it was 'made-for -t.v.' but I found it strange that the lady with five children had an almost empty fridge.Maybe I'm lucky, but if my fridge was that empty my kids would be really worried and try to find out why.Gloria Hunniford seemed to think that by moving this lady into a smaller flat it would solve all of her finacial worries by giving her an extra £74.per month to live on as opposede to the £20 odd she had to live on at the moment.Can't make my mind up really what do you think
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What worries me is those who do have four children like my eighty eight year old neighbour - yet they rarely bother with her.
The only one who makes any effort is the one who lives miles away and even though she is making an extended visit she is just tucked away upstairs on the Internet instead of spending quality time with her Mum!
I just don't understand it!
To live and shame the land from which we sprung.
Life, to be sure, is nothing much to lose,
But young men think it is,
And we were young.
A E Housman
In reality it makes sense for me to carry on saving for that `what if` scenario ie to be able to afford alterations to the house and carers to come in if needed and lastly to give me the choice of homes if dh and/or I ever needed that sort of help.
When we look at old people, I think we sometimes see them as all being very similar and equally helpless, but there are decades of relationships that have formed for these people. My own mother isn't someone I enjoy being around - I still love her, and if she needed a few groceries in the future I'd send the Tesco man around, but I honestly doubt I'll be the one of her four children who visits. For a start, I live hundreds of miles away - secondly, she has other children who are closer emotionally. Of course, they might also decide that they don't have time to be spending with her in future. It might sound harsh, but old people aren't a 'responsibility' as such, they're still a choice in my eyes.
Personally, I'm quite looking forward to spending my retirement years in a dedicated retirement village or home. I think I'd like it, and hope it's the choice I or my children can take on my behalf in future.
I only hope that your mum doesn't read this.
Most people would like this - however the harsh reality is that it is not always cheap and not always available in every area. Plus, the increase in retired population combined with the fact that people are living longer means that there is likely to be a supply & demand situation - demand will probably outstrip supply of quality dedicated care for the elderly. Also, what happens if you become ill and need nursing care? And are you saving to cover the costs of this, as we all know the demands on the state "pot" are such that it is likely to be empty by the time I may need care in 20+ years!
I hope you have several hundred of thousands of pounds if this is your aim, otherwise you could well end up in a care home far worse than any seen on tv.
We are prepared to use our savings plus house value to pay for our choice of care if needed, although naturally we hope it won`t come to that
What it may grow to in time, I know not what.
Daniel Defoe: 1725.
In the meantime my mother & stepfather have just moved into a retirement village where the admin fees are as high as many people's mortgages and the fees for the integral nursing home are £900 a week. If they survive another 10 years or so (mid 80s now & fairly hale & hearty) there is no way at all there will be anything left for us to inherit; our own finances & chances of saving towards our own eventual care are being drained off in two directions at present, but State support for the elderly is also visibly draining away as it all gets "privatised" and farmed out to rapacious companies. I really wouldn't want to be a burden to my own kids in future, but I'm not sure that there'll be any other options left to me!
Having worked with the elderly until fairly recently I'd say that the current situation for many of them is bad, but the future looks bleak... the pot is empty.
The second prog. shows how crap it can be when you can't look after yourself. My parents are in their 80's and at the moment cope with everyday life but they will be looked after by the family as long as possible. Don't know how I'm going to fair though. My son lives in London, I'm in the North west.
GC - Sep £35.56/£30:o
GC - Aug £30.73/£31
GC - Jul £30.80/£31
Me too I don't actually know of any elderly people living near me now (city centre) but if I did I'd want to get to know them and see if they wanted company or help sometimes. It's not out of pity or duty, I do enjoy being around people. Two years ago I contacted age concern asking if they needed volunteers but they never got back to me.
Me and my sister are already thinking about how we can help my parents out when they're older (don't tell my mum though she's only 47 :rotfl:). I know circumstances change but I would hate for them to be lonely and noone visit. My Nan's three children lived within 2 miles of her and visited once, 2-3 and 7 days a week but she still got pretty fed up.
Watching Gloria Hunniford go shopping for ingredients for a spag bol made me want to shout at the telly, she wanted to spend £5 just on the meat.