I'm feeling sensitive and need to let it out - pregnancy

noodles86

I am 5'6 and weigh 86kg size 14 and 20 weeks pregnant. I have been made to feel absolutely rubbish about my weight my the midwife & hospital. Everything is my weights fault as I have a BMI of 31 to top it off today it says on my scan that they had poor views due to bmi yet the monographer kept saying how clear everything was and how good the baby was.... I just feel so rubbish not sure what anyone can say but feel better for getting it off my chest.

mum2one

I was a lot heavier than u when I had DD, (i don't recommend the weight), I guess there worried about u, and maybe being pregnant, ur hormones go astray, I use to cry over the andrex puppy advert,

Don't feel you are doing a wonderful job, your keeping the bun in a safe warm place. xx

Lirin

Not a lot to say, but hugs.... It is so horrible to receive criticism at the stage you are at- your body has changed completely! No matter how well-meaning it was, it's horrible to hear.

thatgirlsam

Aw, don't worry about it

They won't need to bring out the bariatric equipment for you at your size!

I work in a Maternity Unit and we see women of ALL shapes and sizes

I would agree that it was probably (hopefully) meant well. But if a Healthcare Professional speaks to you in a way you don't like, as in tone, or you feel you are being judged, then just point out that you have been made to feel uncomfortable/upset and that it is not helpful.

Hope you don't find the bariatric comment upsetting!! It was supposed to be funny. Good luck with your pregnancy, when I was feeling hormonal I just let it all out, have a good cry, stamp your feet whatever. Then go all gooey looking at babies clothes

ikkle87

If you have a higher than normal bmi they have to put that comment on your scan notes hun as it covers their backs, just like they have to say they are pretty certain it's a boy but can't say it definitely is a boy etc. It's just a precaution on their behalf.

People a lot bigger than you are have babies hun, please don't feel bad. x

mildred1978

Awwwww, hon. My BMI was (I think) 34 when I was having my son - at least 10 of that was due to my boobs (which have always been huge). I was a size 12-14 everywhere else!

Had a couple of midwives tut at me, and tell me I was lucky I wasn't put under consultant led care. Sonographers had no problems. 1 midwife did comment that she "couldn't understand it" even though my boobs got into the room about 2 minutes before the rest of me. :rotfl:

BMI is a ridiculous measurement with little purpose - most athletes come up as morbidly obese!

Noggin_1

Aww hun I agree with the above posts.

Did they even offer you any advice with your weight, eating ect? Pregnancy can be stressful enough without this sort of criticism.

Hugs to you and congratulations on your pregnancy:)

cottonhead

I felt very upset after my son was born. I went for a check up and the nurse weighed me anc then after a sharp intake of breath declared ' ooh you have put on quite a bit of weight since the last time we weighed you'. The worse part is that she was double my size herself ! Im sure they meant well. I was very careful during pregnancy to eat well as I could picture my little one 'eating' everything I was and didnt want to force my baby to eat rubbish. I gave up coffee and spicy foods, soft cheese and junk food. It was afterwards I got fat. You are not huge by any means but like me some weight loss would help your health in the longer term. In the meantime enjoy your pregnancy and embrace your changing shape and weight gain. There is a little miricle happening - deal with the weight later.

emweaver

noodles86 wrote: »

I am 5'6 and weigh 86kg size 14 and 20 weeks pregnant. I have been made to feel absolutely rubbish about my weight my the midwife & hospital. Everything is my weights fault as I have a BMI of 31 to top it off today it says on my scan that they had poor views due to bmi yet the monographer kept saying how clear everything was and how good the baby was.... I just feel so rubbish not sure what anyone can say but feel better for getting it off my chest.

My hospital are the same, apparently due to my weight my baby is risk of cot death, stillbirth, being obese itself and if I don't have an epidural as soon as I go into labour I wont be able to have one as Im too obese so need a specialist. Apparently I'm at risk of needing an emergency section as obese people aren't active therefore have longer labours, the list is endless. I have to have to have extra scans and see a specialist because of my weight apparently anyone with a BMI over 30 has to here.

ognum

the question is do you want the truth or not?

yes it probably is hurtful for you to know you are obese but you can actually do something about it while you are pregnant. Many people manage to maintain the weight they are rather than putting on weight while pregnant.

don't use it as an excuse to eat for two and use this to show the health professional that you do care about your health and your babies health and you can lose weight.

Turn the negative into a positive if you can

mildred1978

ognum wrote: »

the question is do you want the truth or not?

yes it probably is hurtful for you to know you are obese but you can actually do something about it while you are pregnant. Many people manage to maintain the weight they are rather than putting on weight while pregnant.

don't use it as an excuse to eat for two and use this to show the health professional that you do care about your health and your babies health and you can lose weight.

Turn the negative into a positive if you can

How rude!

The OP probably isn't actually overweight. You can't tell from a number alone!