Real life MMD: She dumped my son - should I make her pay for the holiday

purple.sarah

If you didn't ask her to contribute before then you obviously didn't really need the money, charging her for breaking up with your son will just come across as petty. Your post doesn't make it clear whether you have been on the holiday. If you have it would be inappropriate to charge her for it now as she went under the terms of your agreement at the time. If you haven't maybe you can still cancel her place or invite someone else. Don't make your son's situation worse by making it about money. It will be easier for him to move on if you are willing to do the same.

allybee13

Painful as it is to see your son dumped, if you wouldn't have asked her to contribute if they were still together then you shouldn't ask her to contribute now that they've separated. You haven't lost anything if you were going to pay anyway.

I'm sure your son wouldn't appreciate the fuss either - emotionally, it might just be better to leave sleeping dogs lie and let him get over her and move on.

juliamarsh

scotsbob wrote: »

If this happened a week ago then he must have a new girl by now, why not let the new one go along?
May cost a few pounds for a name change but that's better than losing out.

Oh Scotsbob, you always make me laugh, I look out for your comments on MMD every week as you can always be relied upon to provide an alternative and interesting take on every situation, if at times a little un-PC although actually I find that quite refreshing even if I have on occasions felt duty bound to respond! Please keep on entertaining me even if I don't always agree with you!

joannie

no way. How to you propose to MAKE her pay?:A

Craig247

It is a sunk cost. The money is spent whether she goes or not. As from now there is no cost to you of her not going. You are not out of pocket. There is no dilemma, particularly as she wouldn't pay anyway. In any case his ex is his ex. She's vapour. Move on.

iamds

I don't understand, you weren't going to ask her to pay when she was coming along. It seems a bad deal for her to pay now that she isn't. Why would she want to do that?

ASR

I'd ask her younger more attractive sister to go on a free holiday instead, failing that anyone else who could go. Also would ask the dumpee to cough up / contribute.

Voyager2002

Firstly, remember that there are two sides to this story: she probably believes that he behaved in some way that made it impossible for her to remain in the relationship... As a parent, you should not attempt to make judgements like this, but simply be supportive for your son. But the ex is highly unlikely to regard herself as being guilty, so asking her to act as if she were responsible is unlikely to be helpful.

Your options: begin with the airline. Are name changes allowed, so that someone else could make use of the ticket? Would any refund be made?

Once you have done your research, I suggest a civilised conversation with the ex. Explain that the ticket is there, in her name, and ask whether she would like to use it (there are more places in Florida than where you are staying). Let her know how much would be lost if the ticket is wasted, and invite her perhaps to contribute or to make an equivalent donation to a charity that you support.

trinity_enigma

If you didn't want her to pay before then why are you going to make her pay now? I don't know how old your son and his ex are but it's probably best he fights his own battles.

So what if your son is hurt? I don't think you having some extra cash will change that. Besides how do you know that your son didnt do something that makes the dumping entirely justifiable- holiday on the horizon or not?

jazzali_2

Totally agree with Voyager2002 - demanding payment for the ticket would be unfair as there may be a lot of issues at play.

I'm glad to see that she's done the right thing and ended the relationship for whatever reason rather than drag it out for a free holiday. Forcing her to pay for it would be punishing her for ending a relationship she wasn't happy in - which no one should be punished for.

Invite another friend or family member and ask them to cover the admin cost of transferring the seat into their name - will still be the cheapest trip to Orlando they'll ever get, and no one else will be worse off than if the trip had gone ahead as originally planned.