Delegation failure :-(

stiltwalker

I am a SAHM but with 2 small kids - 3 yrs old with disabilities, 1 yr old with probably same genetic disorder but no apparent disabilities other than a slight mobility delay so far - I consider the kids my full time job and OH is still expected to pitch in when he gets home from work. OK so I can be a bit of a perfectionist and sometimes secretly redo things if he's not up to scratch! But wouldn't let him off on the ground of not doing it well enough.

I was poorly Mon/Tues and I mean badly, can't ever remember feeling so rotten and he had to do everything when he got back whilst I crawled back to bed - think he got a bit of a shock to his system over how much there is actually to do as I'm convinced he thinks he does loads!!! Whereas really I just expect a hand.

pinkteapot

Last time I asked DH to put a load of laundry in, our clothes got washed at 90 instead of 40.

I haven't bothered delegating since. :rotfl:

Farway

pinkteapot wrote: »

Last time I asked DH to put a load of laundry in, our clothes got washed at 90 instead of 40.

I haven't bothered delegating since. :rotfl:

Yep, us blokes have sussed this.

I used to put everything in the washer together, nicks, socks, shirts, black, white, cream, red, blue, it never mattered, in it went at 40C

My kids decided to sort and do their own washing rather than have standard beige / rose coloured clothing after washing by me

Worked for me

[Deleted User]

My late OH did have a habit I cured him of,he used to pull his shirts over his head to take them off and put in the laundry basket and it would drive me nuts as I had to stand and undo all the blooming buttons before washing and iroing them.So what I did was to wash iron and do all of the buttons up from the bottom to the neck and put them on a hanger.Whe he came to put them on he found them buttoned up and HE had to unbutton them all.A couple of days doing this soon stopped his habit bless him But I have noticed that one of my grandsons Jack who is 12 has started doing this and i have had words with him as I often put a wash on for my DD when shes at work and sometimes iron Jacks school shirts for her.Now if I find one in the basket I will just yell out JACK and he come scrurrying down the stairs and undoes them I am training him for his future wife and hopefully she will be pleased (he is the only one of the four boys to do this as well. :)

floss2

OP, please remember that any electrical kit such as guitars, amps or effects boxes should not be kept in a shed or garage unless absolutely dry & not at danger of severe temperature fluctuations, as that can ruin it However, I am sure your extra family members will be very happy in a shed / garage to get them out of your home.

Another trick might be to start to use them as coat hangers, scarf storage, somewhere to put your bag when you get in at night, or even somewhere to put the tea towel & oven gloves.....you get the picture. I am sure when he sees his precious kit being used as coat hooks or with your scarves draped over them he will move them out of harms way!

As regards doing a fair share - I agree with the strike. Warn them what will happen for about a week, then just do the laundry from the basket until the penny drops. Give DH a shopping list and ask him to go to the supermarket on his way home from wokr just as you do. And DON'T pick up after them - it is very hard not to do so and tempting to give in, but you will make them worse!!

epskie

Thanks all.

Fortunately we have a big house but DH's belongings are increasing at a rate of knots. (Just been on ebay and last viewed item was another guitar **sigh**)

I have told him that I need more help round here and he has been helpfully standing near me whilst I do chores, trying to look useful, I think he genuinely doesn't have a clue!

Re the Leia Slave Girl costume - DH very very kindly bought me my own Star Wars costume for my birthday (imagine how thrilled I was!) I am now the very proud owner of a Snowtrooper costume (google image it) and he has signed me up to the Garrison.

I know, I know - he's all heart :-)

Cat501

epskie wrote: »

Thanks all.

Fortunately we have a big house but DH's belongings are increasing at a rate of knots. (Just been on ebay and last viewed item was another guitar **sigh**)

I have told him that I need more help round here and he has been helpfully standing near me whilst I do chores, trying to look useful, I think he genuinely doesn't have a clue!

Re the Leia Slave Girl costume - DH very very kindly bought me my own Star Wars costume for my birthday (imagine how thrilled I was!) I am now the very proud owner of a Snowtrooper costume (google image it) and he has signed me up to the Garrison.

I know, I know - he's all heart :-)

Think you need to give him set tasks, "more help around the house" is just too vague:)

Are you a big Star Wars fan too? If you are, great If not - well, I know where I'd be telling him to stick his lightsaber if I got birthday presents like that:rotfl:

LameWolf

One of the Flyladies, Valli, has a very good saying - "Don't put it down, put it away" and I think it's not unreasonable to expect all members of the household to do this.

I'm a housewife not through choice (retired through ill-health) so I do as much of the household stuff as I can, and Mr LW does the stuff I can no longer manage. He's also happy to help when asked - all it needs is for me to say "Please will you load the machine with <type of wash>, set it for <temperature> and kick it off" and it's done.

They do need specifics. A general request for "More help please" just results in Mr LW doing things that don't need doing and generally getting underfoot. A specific task requested results in it getting done beautifully.

Like JackieO I do all the finances, but Mr LW does know how my spreadsheets work, and what to do re money in the event of me going into hospital or popping my clogs.

Ooh, yes, and the other thing is we do chores together. F'r instance if the lounge needs dusting and I haven't been well enough to do it when I normally would, we grab a duster each, he starts one side, I start the other, and we meet in the middle.

unclebryn_2

Cat501 wrote: »

Think you need to give him set tasks, "more help around the house" is just too vague:)

That is so true. I work full time long hours, OH works part-time. I see dust/dirt/clutter/things that need doing/weeds/long grass/general mess. He sees nothing. In fairness if I say "the hall needs hoovering, can you do it tomorrow" he'll hoover it; "the grass is very long and it's not raining" he'll mow it; "I haven't had time to strip the bed this morning, please will you do it and put it in on no7", he'll do it (but probably not think to put it on the line).

I do all the cooking as he's genuinely not got a clue. I had some emergency work stuff to sort over phone while I'd got veg steaming and potatoes roasting for a chicken dinner last night. I could see him standing in front of oven getting agitated and could smell spuds burning . . .
He's always been impressed that DS could easily rustle up a meal from early teenage years, so it's not as if I'm precious about the cooking. Think he would live on jam sandwiches and oranges out of choice!

Steve-o

epskie wrote: »

Re the Leia Slave Girl costume - DH very very kindly bought me my own Star Wars costume for my birthday (imagine how thrilled I was!) I am now the very proud owner of a Snowtrooper costume (google image it) and he has signed me up to the Garrison.

I know, I know - he's all heart :-)

I second the shed idea.

Buy one of those doorbells that can play MP3's, and get it rigged up so that it plays the Darth Vader theme whenever he opens the shed door. He'll have it decked out as a garrison faster than an ewok can fall out of a tree.