Adult night terrors/nightmares help.

Beck__

I suffer from night terrors/sleep walking, it drives my wife bonkers. :mad: She tries to not get angry and repeats to me that Im dreaming, but after the 4th episode in one night, she sometimes just shouts at me to get back in bed!

I would certainly say that anxiety increases the chances of an episode. In fact since Max my son was born (2.5 years ago), Ive been having episodes on average maybe 2 nights a week. Ive had them as long as I can remember on and off. My earliest memory of one is when I was a kid, maybe around 10, my mum waking me up as I was sleep walking downstairs and I screamed the house down. Maybe that started it all, who knows.

My episodes are mainly anxiety about Max. When he was a baby sleeping in our bedroom, we would sometimes feed him in bed during the many night feeds. I would worry that hes in the bed suffocating, pulling the covers back and waking wife up, I was asleep during this by the way. Fast forward to Max being in his nursery, I would think hes not in his cot and hes running around upstairs. These days, they are still mainly centered around Max and worrying about him.

My latest bad episode, for some reason I ran into our bedroom wardrobe, injuring my hand.

The worst episode I had was going back a few years before my wife (then g/f) moved in with me. I was sleeping alone in just my pants and jumped out of bed believing someone was chasing me. I ran out the front door, down my street and round the corner to the main road, stood at the bus stop checking the schedule. I then 'woke up' and had the walk of shame back to my house, luckily it was around 3am so not much traffic/people. This was the only time I have actually left my house which is quite scary, although my wife and friends find much hilarity in this story.

From what you have wrote I would agree with others that its most probably your OHs anxiety about the house renovations that has brought it on. If he didnt suffer with terrors before then hopefully they may go away after renovations are done.

It sounds like maybe he has taken too much on and so internally he is stressing about it. If hes sleeping on site in his van sometimes, then hes possibly putting too many hours in which cant be helping. I would look into making changes so he doesnt spend more then the average working day on it. If its possible to hire extra hands, then that would ease his burden also.

Hope things get better for you and OH, I know first hand how distressing/annoying night terrors can be for both parties.

GlynD

I suffer from hyper anxiety as a result of PTSD caused by military service. I ignored it for years and that was foolish. Your husband needs to seek advice and a referral for psychiatric help from your GP. The main thing is to assure him that there is no stigma to this. People regard any kind of mental illness as marking you for life to all and sundry. It isn't like that anymore. I'm only a PM away if you want further advice.

squirrelchops

Hi all
Thank you all for your replies.

It is not an option for OH to stop the renovation projects and he actually is enjoying doing it!

I think the underlying issue is that before when he has been under stress this is stress that if things went wrong would only impact on himself. Whereas as I am the one with the financial means and my Mum owns 1 of the houses he is ultimately responsible to 2 people. Errors will impact on he and I and also my family - I can therefore understand the pressures he is under.

He does have a good schedule of what exactly needs doing and when. He doesn't have to worry about the budget - I deal with the invoices - of course we make decisions together regarding costings. He is not inexperienced in house renovations but this is on a way bigger scale than he has previously dealt with.

I also think a lot of it is role reversal in our relationship. When we met I was on my way to Uni and he supported me for 3 years. Now, he is the one who is being supported by me - I can imagine this mentally is an issue for him. I can fully appreciate this feeling as I HATED it when I felt my independence was removed when I was a student.

We talk all the time and I encourage him to have time off site but he is a stubborn toad and does find it hard to unwind.

I will try to persuade him to discuss with his GP as he has had long standing thyroid issues over the years - was overactive but was treated and is now underactive. I put his weight loss down to the hard physical work but it may be useful getting his levels checked in case he is now hyper again.

caevans

Interestingly I also had overactive thyroid and now under active!
If he loses weight he will need his thyroxine changed as likely need less the lighter he becomes ifswim!

squirrelchops

Did you have the iodine treatment caevans?

I didn't think about weight and medication doseage. I shall definitely suggest he is reviewed at the GPs. Thanks.

caevans

Both operation and the iodine as they didn't remove enough of my thyroid
My GP usually calls me in every year for blood tests, or if a change such as pregnancy I have to get checked more often. I have had thyroid problems so long that I can always tell if I am taking too much or too little. I tend to prefer to be slightly over and have talked my GP into letting me do this. I feel too lethargic when my blood results say I am spot on.

minimacka

My D/s has had night terrors now for about 6 years since he was about 9 years old, they originally started because of a teacher being horrid to him at school.
They original were 1-2 times a night and he would be absolutely terrified and very distressed, and it is only me that could calm him down, if my husband tried he would fight him. We took him to the dr who suggested reading before bedtime to calm his brain down as he was playing on his xbox, he did this and we didnt let him play his xbox after a certain time and it did help a little bit. It was my friends suggestion to put a fan in his room as he does get really hot at night that helped a lot and since then he always has his bedroom window open and a fan on. He is 15 now and occasionally has then if he plays his xbox or computer for a long period of time. In fact he had one the night before last which was totally out of the blue as it had been weeks since his last one. He had been playing on his computer that day/night but he had been playing on it before that aswell with no night terrors??? We didnt bother taking him back to the dr's because i really didnt want him to be put on any drugs. Its just something that we live with. I do ofter wonder if he will ever grow out of it and i really hope he does because when you see someone having a night terror it isnt very nice and its nothing like a nightmare.