Paternity leave - how did your employer react?

Person_one

Well, its a good job not everybody feels the same way you do or we'd have close to 50% unemployment.

lostinrates

Problem is, and i speak as someone putitng off employment because my business simPly could not cope with marernity leave atm, it does take jobs from the market place. In reality i shoud be employing one permanant pt member of staff now, but the financial risk of doing so is too great for me at the current stage of my business.

minimoocow

I LOVE the new pat rules purely because it has done so much to level the playing field. Employers will now have to consider the issue of men taking extended periods of leave (and I agree it will happen eventually) so saying they won't employ women in case of them going off on mat leave will become largely irrelevant since men can now do the same. :T
What annoys me a lot though is that at work (male orientated company) most men were really shocked at the LOW level of pat pay and said they couldn't possibly survive on that . . . but its somehow ok for women to have to! I know traditionally the man has been the higher earner so it would be more of an income drop but amongst my peers (mainly uni educated) this is not the case and partners earn pretty much the same so why not share the leave?

To answer the OP I think it will depend on the firm - its worth floating the idea and then coming to a decision but my personal view is if you take 6 months out you should expect your career (and salary etc) to be 6 months behind where your would have been. This isn't discrimination its just a reflection of the experience levels. (IMO).

onlyroz

A few points - if we *could* have split the parental leave then we would have. Joolz - what if you employ a man whose wife earns more than him? Then it would make sense for dad to take some of the leave regardless of what pittance you pay him.

Also, I'm not quite getting why it would be such a problem for a staff member to take a six-month sabattical - if you only pay the basic rate then can't you claim this back from the government? In the grand scheme of things six months is not so long - in my industry (software) it would mean missing two release cycles - and with the 10 keep in touch days I can keep up to date with any ongoing projects or changes in procedure.

DKLS

Gigglepig wrote: »

Thank you. It would be really interesting to hear what experience dads have had with taking several months off on paternity leave.

Where I work (huge corporate) you would get the 6 months pat leave but career progression would pretty much grind to a halt or worse.

SaveMoreMoney

Interesting thread.................

..........ok, I'm presently doing Extra Paternity Leave and have been for a few weeks - I have a few weeks to go. In total I have taken off just a little more than three months off. So about a month still to do.

It is simply the best thing ever - I never expected it to be so much fun.

I have had total and full support from my work - all boses have been very good indeed and there is absolutely no issues as to 'future prospects' - so it works for me.

It is the law, and my company have been interested to see how I fare, so that I can be used as an example for other dads in the future.

It's fitted in with my wife's line of work and we are both very happy with the arrangement - would have been better if the weather had been sunnier and warmer the past few weeks, but you cannot have everything.

I got approx 4 hours a day when little one goes off to sleep - so I can do things that I want to. I also attend about 3 baby class things a week, so there is lots of contact with other youngsters for our baby.

I would have had a total nightmare time off if my wife hadn't done all the basics correctly and got our baby the happy child that we now have. So I think I can say that I got it easy.......and I don't mind the 'odd' silly early morning.

I'm also a totally hands-on Dad, and I did also have the benefit of taking a week off earlier in the year to 'shadow' my wife and see what a normal week roughly consisted off - places and people.

We are also in contact with a load of NCT couples, so this has helped to ensure I attend the initial baby sessions (as I knew a few familiar faces) - but there are other Dads who go along. At the end of the day, it's about our baby, NOT about me.

I also have the advantage of knowing that my time off will end and I know how many days I have remaining. Not too sure that I could get my head around an open ended 'stay at home' Dad career.

It has given me a new insight to mums (and dads) who stay at home and look after their youngsters - you have my full admiration, it's not an easy job.

Would I do it again...........definately.

chanie

I'm 32 weeks pregnant and OH and I are going to split my maternity leave with my partner. The reasons for this are that my OH isn't particuarly career minded and I earn more (and have higher earning potential) so its really a no brainer.

OH hasn't told his line manager yet as I dont' think he will be too happy, but there isn't much he can do about it so, tough.

I also mentioned it in passing to OH's Mum and Aunt and I got a bit a of grilling:
'does OH want to take the time off' (me - 'we don't have a choice as we have bills and a mortgage to pay')
'what does his employer have to say' (me - 'they can't say much, its the law).

the legislation only came in in 2011, so its still relatively early days, but as more and more families take this option, it will become easier.

onlyroz

I am glad to hear that there are men who *are* going to take advantage of the new legislation.

It seems like the biggest barrier is employers getting their head round the fact that they need to treat men in the same way as women. You have to remember that the total amount of leave isn't changing - just that parents are sharing it between them.

The days of the dutiful wife staying at home with the baby while the alpha-male goes out to work are rightfully coming to an end.

onlyroz

chanie wrote: »

I also mentioned it in passing to OH's Mum and Aunt and I got a bit a of grilling:
'does OH want to take the time off' (me - 'we don't have a choice as we have bills and a mortgage to pay')
'what does his employer have to say' (me - 'they can't say much, its the law).

This is purely a perception issue - it should not make any difference whether it's mum or dad that stay at home with the baby. Any issues people have are purely down to cultural bias.

heretolearn_2

I don't think you can predict how your employer will react. I suspect it won't go down too well in small businesses because frankly all long term leave for any reason is a pain in the !!!!. We know people are entitled to various types, we give it where they are eligible, we don't get nasty with them, but we are still groaning inside because life is hard enough for us and this makes it harder. We are only human...

I don't know if this is something you could consider but I know a couple where both parents negotiated to work a 3 day week. that way they each get two (different) days a week with their toddler and then child spends one day a week at a nursery. Best of all worlds