What age would you let a child live in a basement flatlet?

gingin_2

It's very hard to buy houses here and so we bought a house that is nice but perhaps doesn't quite suit us as a family. Upstairs has 3 bedrooms, ourselves and dd have decent rooms but ds ( 12 years old) got the bum deal and has a bedroom that has been divided into 2 rooms - half is now a bedroom and the other half the family bathroom. It's not ideal for him, it's small, has no room for a wardrobe and can't even properly hold a full sized single bed. I know that we disturb him when we use the bathroom at night.

The house has a basement, I called it a flatlet and I don't even know if that word exists but basement sounded like a punishment thing! It's not self-contained and has no separate access, it has a double bedroom and bathroom and what we call the den, which has been kitted out for the kids, particularly DS in mind, with computer, consoles, tv and beanbags. He loves it. It would be great to let DS sleep in the bedroom down there but a few things worry me.

He's at that pre-teen stage where being with the family is not particularly exciting for him and I don't want to give him even more reason to not want to be around. He loves the computer, it's a neccessary thing to have as a family, it can't be moved to a different room and although the time on it is monitored now, it will be hard to keep an eye on his time on there if he is right next door to it and we are 2 floors above. I've caught him more than once staying up beyond his bed time ( torch under the covers reading a book type thing), so I have an issues with whether he can be trusted to follow the rules.

We are hoping to move but I think it might take at least another 18 months for us to be financially ready and family sized houses in this school catchment are very hard to find, so it could take many years.

DS on the whole is a good child but I don't know whether it's making his life just that little bit too comfy by letting him have too much of his own space and that he's a little bit too young for it but feel he would have a better night's sleep and a nicer bedroom in general if he were allowed down there. I've not put it to him but I know he would jump like a shot if he were allowed to. What would anyone else do?

It's a bit long - sorry!

emweaver

If you feel comfortable with him sleeping down there go for it its upto you and your partner.

mrcow

At 12, I wouldnt feel comfortable with him sleeping two floors away from me every night. If there was a fire or an emergency, you wouldn't be able to get to him easily.

Sorry, it's a no from me.

System

No i wouldnt feel comfortable about him sleeping so far away from me either. What if he is ill in the night and he tries to call you?

No, i couldnt risk it.

PasturesNew

I'd say it's fine .... if you can stop the potential for bad behaviours becoming the norm.... which is the real problem.

londonsurrey

I would let him sleep, study and chill out there.

However, I would not let him have "electronic babysitter" devices such as a tv and games consoles down there, as it would be too easy for him to just get stuck on them. He's too young to be simply left with them - let's face it - people a decade or two older than him succumb to it.

neneromanova

As long as it was kitted out with fire detectors and was safely secured then I'd personally have no problem with it. As he'd be out of his bedroom upstairs, Why not place the computer upstairs in his "old" room? That way you'll be able to monitor it.

peachyprice

No, I wouldn't let a 12yo sleep down there with the 'den' next door, it's too tempting and will only get worse the older he gets, he'll have free rein to the consoles, pc & TV and you'll be none the wiser at to what time he's up at night while you're two floors above.

Could you not turn his current bedroom into the den and let him have the basement as his sleeping quarters? Or use the basement bathroom as the family bathroom?

sharnad

Stick the computer upstairs and let him have the bedroom downstairs.

gingin_2

Thanks, some interesting answers.

The "den" was a concession for DS having the small bedroom and it is mostly his space and I think he's lucky to have it. The only option would be to take all the electronic goodies out of there and give him the bedroom but I think given the choice of den plus *rappy bedroom or nice bedroom with no den he would choose the former, so I guess it stays as it is.

FatVonD

Could you move into the basement room yourself and let him have your room?