What's fair rent for working children living at home?

OrkneyStar

I paid approx £200 pcm to my mum when I lived with her about 10 years ago. This is included rent, council tax, and some sundries (washing powder, that sort of thing). I bought a good percentage of the food I ate, and cooked a lot for her too. We shared housework, cleaning, though she preferred to do the washing!
Worked out fine.

jane130

i point my son in the direction of gumtree and rooms in shared houses - he was shocked to see it would cost him £300 pm for a room in a shared house with inc bills - He's currently looking for a full time position (we charge him nothing while hes part time and are just glad we aren't subsidising his social life anymore) and we plan to charge £250pm including food once hes found something full time.

Person_one

MamaJAH wrote: »

Not all children are as sensible - our eldest did just that, chose to save it rather than give it to us, the youngest forgets she has money stashed away, but unfortunately for the middle one, the green stuff burns a hole in her pocket, if she's got it, she spends it, if she hasn't she stays in, its as simple as that!

I love all my children dearly but the middle one is very different to the other two

This is exactly why there's no one answer to 'what is a reasonable amount of keep'.

The question comes up on here regularly, and there are always a hundred different answers, but it mostly depends on what the 'point' of charging keep is.

Person_one

jane130 wrote: »

i point my son in the direction of gumtree and rooms in shared houses - he was shocked to see it would cost him £300 pm for a room in a shared house with inc bills - He's currently looking for a full time position (we charge him nothing while hes part time and are just glad we aren't subsidising his social life anymore) and we plan to charge £250pm including food once hes found something full time.

Are you going to treat him like a lodger?

I've never understood what 'market rent' has to do with family relationships.

kno

I think that it's quite patronising making your Adult offspring save their salary, or expect that unless you charge them "rent" they wont understand the value of money.

Some Parent's need the money, if you are in that position then charge what you reasonably need. Some Parent's don't need the money and save their offsprings rent and then return it which I do not agree with.

Adult Children should be doing their own washing, cooking, paying for their own food and toiletries though unless the Parent's object.

WelshBluebird

Person_one wrote: »

Are you going to treat him like a lodger?

I've never understood what 'market rent' has to do with family relationships.

Agreed.
I can understand asking for a fair share of the bills, and a bit more to cover cleaning, cooking etc etc.
But asking for close to market rate for rent is a bit harsh unless you would be renting out the room to a lodger otherwise (or if you are renting the place yourselves and are simply asking for a fair share of the rent you are paying).

mandragora_2

Our son is on a similar income. He pays £200 a month by standing order.

Food is there if he wants it - usually he does, but also he will have phases of getting his own stuff. We live in the sticks, and are in the lucky position of being able to give him pretty much exclusive use of a car, which he puts petrol in. In theory, he contrbutes to the vehicle insurance, too - hasn't happened yet, though he has put new tyres on it. He had a dreadful time getting a permanent job after uni, and at times was signed on to JSA - he didn't agree with my husband's view that that money was to pay for living costs, and should have come to us - it caused all sorts of resentments and rows. Even when he got a permanent job, it took about 6 months for him to set up the standing order, cue lots more rows and tensions. We are well-enough off not to need the income, really, but it feels important that he pays his way.

He is pretty organised and mature about money, and has a spreadsheet set up, manages incomings outgoings and is saving furiously for the day he can set up home himself. At the same time, we put the money that we have surplus away too - hopefully, if he ever needs a lump sum for something important, we can help towards it.

When he was on low/no pay, I didn't mind too much that he kept his JSA for himself - I felt he found it hard enough to believe in himself when he kept getting knocked back for jobs - especially when it went on for 18 months - I wasn't about to take away the little bit of dignity having a bit of cash in your pocket gave him. What drove me to distraction was to go out to work in the morning, and to come home sometimes 12 hours later and for nothing to have been done to prepare a meal, say, or pick a few things up. He's not a lazy person normally, and I imagine it was the lethargy of having no end in sight that set it off, but by crikey those were difficult days!

My best advice to you would be - pick a sum, stick with it, and make her get a standing order set up. Sooner rather than later, too, so it's not a shock to her!!

scottish_lassy

when my daughter lived at home, she paid 25% of her wage in rent, used 50% to pay off uni debt and then that went to savings when debt finished, and 25% for her own use. This worked well for her as she was in quite a low paid job but felt she was contributing. It was her that suggested she paid rent as she felt this would help her retain some of her 'adultness' even though she was returning home.

It seems fair to make rent a proportion of the wage rather that a prescriptive amount.

KxMx

kno wrote: »

I think that it's quite patronising making your Adult offspring save their salary, or expect that unless you charge them "rent" they wont understand the value of money.

Some Parent's need the money, if you are in that position then charge what you reasonably need. Some Parent's don't need the money and save their offsprings rent and then return it which I do not agree with.

Adult Children should be doing their own washing, cooking, paying for their own food and toiletries though unless the Parent's object.

Yes, I find it quite shocking that parents dictate to their working, adult offspring how they must spend their money.

Beyond paying my keep (which my Mum sets the level) my finances are my business and nothing what so ever to do with her.

However I think it quite fair for working adult children to pay their way- they are after all using water, gas, electric etc etc and as such should contribute financially to the household. I don't think it's so much as to do with teaching them the value of money but illustrating how society works- everything has to be paid for. It's quite normal to have living costs whether you live at home or have your own place.

If a parent doesn't need the money and decides to return it when offspring move out- well that's up to them, but i'd think the best life lesson there is for the DD/DS to get a nice surprise rather than them paying keep knowing they will get it back in a few years.

It's the treating them life infants by dictating how they should spend their earnings which gets my goat!

Bennifred

Our adult working sons (both early twenties) give us £50 each per week as their share of food/bills. We don't want or expect them to pay rent, but we don't expect to be out of pocket because they choose to live with us as adults, either! If they were on JSA I would expect the same - that is what it is for!
They also take part in the running of the household - cooking, cleaning, or whatever else needs doing. As does DS3 when he is at home from university.