What's fair rent for working children living at home?

System

i would charge 20% of her take home pay less if she does her own washing/meals

Skintski

I had an arrangement with my parents when I lived at home. They charged me 10% of my monthly net income on rent on the understanding that also placed a chunk of cash into a savings account to go towards a deposit for property. By the time I was gearing up to leave home I was paying them £120 a month and putting another £300 into a savings account/ISA. This still left me plenty to spend and my savings had mounted up nicely. They did the same thing with my brother and we are now both home owners.

I don't understand parents who charge their kids the earth leaving them no way of stashing cash for eventually moving out. Surely the idea is to get rid of your kids once they are adults.

Pollycat

Skintski wrote: »

I had an arrangement with my parents when I lived at home. They charged me 10% of my monthly net income on rent on the understanding that also placed a chunk of cash into a savings account to go towards a deposit for property. When I left home I was paying them £120 a month and putting another £300 into a savings account/ISA. This still left me plenty to spend and my savings had mounted up nicely. They did the same thing wit my brother and we are now both home owners.

I don't understand parents who charge their kids the earth leaving them no way of stashing cash for eventually moving out. Surely the idea is to get rid of your kids once they are adults.

Not every young person would voluntarily save money from their wages.

You were obviously one of the ones who did, as I was (although that was in the days where it was the norm to save up for a deposit for a house, get married and move into your very own house).

For those who won't save, maybe charging them the earth for board is the only way to make sure their kids build up enough money for them to be able to afford to leave the 'nest'.

MamaJAH

Pollycat wrote: »

So in effect, you're only charging her £20 per week board.
Imho, that's far too low.

I think if she won't clean her own room and share the chores in the rest of the house, you should insist she pays the cleaner out of her own money, not out of the board you're charging her.

You've started this by not putting your foot down with your eldest daughter.

I think it's a good lesson to learn - instead of chucking money at someone else to do work for you that you don't want to do, do it yourself.

I agree with your youngest daughter.
Best way would be for your other daughter to learn that life can sometimes be hard and sometimes you just have to do things that you don't want to do.

Work out a fair rota and get them to stick to it.

Parenting is a huge learning curve, one that needs to be changed with every child - my eldest child pulled her weight with the household chores, argued with the middle one for not doing her fair share and they came up with the plan to hire the cleaner to get them off the hook, they were adults by then, they had found a solution, which continue and kept the peace in the house until my middle daughter left to work abroad.

Please don't think we are just being lazy wanting her to do all he housework or we just want to "chuck money" at someone else to do the work for us because we don't want to do it ourselves! While she was away we lived peacefully doing our own housework me, the hubby and youngest child... then the wander returns... all hell breaks loose, she is messy, she doesn't stick to cleaning rotas, others have to do more than there fair share or live it the mess.

As for making a 21 year old stick to it.... not as easy as it sounds, if you have a tried and tested formula I suggest to patent it - you'd be a millionaire! :rotfl:
She says she'll do it, goes out, doesn't do it, we are left to live in the mess until she decides to do it... we are fed up with the arguments and want our peaceful life back.... is £40 too much to charge, I'm guessing not!

Pollycat

MamaJAH wrote: »

Please don't think we are just being lazy wanting her to do all he housework or we just want to "chuck money" at someone else to do the work for us because we don't want to do it ourselves! While she was away we lived peacefully doing our own housework me, the hubby and youngest child... then the wander returns... all hell breaks loose, she is messy, she doesn't stick to cleaning rotas, others have to do more than there fair share or live it the mess.

I don't think you're being lazy wanting her to do all the housework - I think it's your middle daughter who's lazy.

You've already said that your eldest daughter pulled her weight and your youngest daughter 'cleans her own mess up'.

You're letting her get away with doing nothing in the house but if that's what you have to do to keep the peace - it's your call.

MamaJAH

Skintski wrote: »

I had an arrangement with my parents when I lived at home. They charged me 10% of my monthly net income on rent on the understanding that also placed a chunk of cash into a savings account to go towards a deposit for property. By the time I was gearing up to leave home I was paying them £120 a month and putting another £300 into a savings account/ISA. This still left me plenty to spend and my savings had mounted up nicely. They did the same thing with my brother and we are now both home owners.

I don't understand parents who charge their kids the earth leaving them no way of stashing cash for eventually moving out. Surely the idea is to get rid of your kids once they are adults.

This is what started me and my husbands debate in the first place - he thinks if we charge her too much she'll never be able to save enough for a deposit to move into her own place (which she says she wants to do) however I know what she spends on clothes and going out a week and she doesn't save that I'm sure of!

Think we're going to have to have a re-think... maybe up the rent even more and save it for her!

Skintski

MamaJAH wrote: »

This is what started me and my husbands debate in the first place - he thinks if we charge her too much she'll never be able to save enough for a deposit to move into her own place (which she says she wants to do) however I know what she spends on clothes and going out a week and she doesn't save that I'm sure of!

Think we're going to have to have a re-think... maybe up the rent even more and save it for her!

Maybe suggest it to her, agree a figure to be saved alongside her rent., set it up as a direct debit into a savings account and run it as an experiment to see if she can live on it for a couple of months. If she finds herself short then she'll need to rethink or you may find she adjusts her style of living straight away just like I did. Your other option is taking a larger figure from her and placing part of it into a savings account for her (she doesn't need to know) and letting her have it towards a deposit once the time has come like you have suggested. However she should be learning the responsibility that comes with earning your own cash. If you're able, take the hard line and tell her this is how it is, you pay rent and stash some cash for your future OR we can take it all off you if you prefer.


I found that knowing my money would be sucked up in rent if I didn't save it a great motivator because I knew one day the money would be used on my own pad and it was mine instead of watching it disappear into the parents pocket. I felt like I had control over my own destiny.

MamaJAH

Skintski wrote: »

She would need to be in agreement with you in order for my suggestion to work. Maybe suggest it to her, agree a figure to be saved alongside her rent., set it up as a direct debit into a savings account and run it as an experiment to see if she can live on it for a couple of months. If she finds herself short then she'll need to rethink or you may find she adjusts her style of living straight away just like I did. Your other option is taking a larger figure from her and placing part of it into a savings account for her (she doesn't need to know) and letting her have it towards a deposit once the time has come.

I found that knowing my money would be sucked up in rent if I didn't save it a great motivator because I knew one day the money would be used and it was mine instead of watching it disappear into the parents pocket. I felt like I had control over my own destiny.

Not all children are as sensible - our eldest did just that, chose to save it rather than give it to us, the youngest forgets she has money stashed away, but unfortunately for the middle one, the green stuff burns a hole in her pocket, if she's got it, she spends it, if she hasn't she stays in, its as simple as that!

I love all my children dearly but the middle one is very different to the other two, she has had the same lessons as the other two but as an adult it is hard to make her do things she doesn't want to do, she is making it difficult for the rest of us, I know she needs to grow up but we need to find an amicable way of doing this which benefits us all - I like your idea of a direct debit straight into a savings account this way she can't change her mind and spend it if she sees something shiny one week :T

thatlemming

Think thats reasonably cheap to be honest. I had 2 gap years and earnt a reasonable wage (little higher than your daughters) and I offered my mum £400 a month.

However now I'm at uni she won't take anything off me which tbh I'm grateful for as I've barely got anything.

(feel I should add that my parents didn't need the money, nor ask for it, just felt I should. They're rather well off currently. And they have since told me that they saved the £400 every month for nearly 2 years and I can use it towards my first house deposit.)

kj*daisy

£40 a week sounds fair, tbh with the cleaner issue I'd charge £50. That's -216 per calendar month and is what I paid to lodge somewhere bills included in my first job 18 years ago! I did earn 800 a month though, and it didn't include any food. Although I didn't have to clean, other than cleaning up after I'd used kitchen/bathroom.

Suggest she also saves 200 a month which still leaves her over 100 a week for her own spending.