Would you..

fluffnutter

parsnipnose wrote: »

No i am not 'Trolling' i'm not 12. I am merely asking a question

You're not asking a question. You're stating that anyone who says they trust their partner is a liar. You're also stating that most people have a second phone and hide the sim card in the glove compartment (!!!!!!?) and that, unbeknownst to all these trusting partners, or 'liars' as you call them, everyone's on social networking sites up to no good.

It's one of those irritatingly personal arguments. Sure, some people are doing just as you say, but most people aren't and it's really tiresome to read threads that say 'This is my experience, and I'm too stupid to realise that one personal experience does not an entire world make'. It's just as nonsensical as those 'my aunt smoked 60 a day for 70 years and died at 92 therefore smoking's not bad for you' arguments that people trot out.

SueC_2

parsnipnose wrote: »

i believe there is always a niggling doubt,

That way madness lies. You either:

a/ Trust your partner, or
b/ Don't trust your partner

If a/, then great - long may it last.
If b/, then save yourself a whole load of time, expense and upset and get out of the relationship now.

In spying on your partner you will either:

a/ Find something that at the end of the day it would probably be better that you didn't know (assuming you want to stay in the relationship), or
b/ Drive yourself mad looking for something that doesn't exist.

If a/ then you're in the same position as you were in b/ above, but at least you saved yourself some money (this is a money saving site after all).

If b/, then where are you going to stop? If your partner isn't being unfaithful, how do they prove it? It is impossible to prove a negative - you will just find yourself believing they are cleverer / more deceiptful than you originally suspected and searching harder and harder for what you want to find.

Once you go down this route, if it's not your partner's infidelity that breaks the relationship, it will be your lack of trust.

sassyblue

parsnipnose wrote: »

Hire a Private Investigator to see what your other half was up to?

Personally anyone that says they completley trust their partner 100% must be lying i believe there is always a niggling doubt, i can't stand when people say 'Oh my partner would never have a second phone' when most likely they do and just hide their sim card in their glove compartment. or 'I know where he is at all times and even 'Oh he would never use social networking sites'

Yet those people who are just being catagoric are the ones more than likely to have an Unfaithful Partner.

What is your opinion?

My opinion is that there is something dreadfully wrong with your relationship to think like that. I do trust my hubby 100% - that's not to say he'd never cheat, just that l trust him not to.

I don't however, see a problem in hiring the PI, if he finds nothing out then great.

fluffnutter

sassyblue wrote: »

My opinion is that there is something dreadfully wrong with your relationship to think like that. I do trust my hubby 100% - that's not to say he'd never cheat, just that l trust him not to.

I don't however, see a problem in hiring the PI, if he finds nothing out then great.

But what if your OH found out? Think how destructive that could be.

balletshoes

parsnipnose wrote: »

Hire a Private Investigator to see what your other half was up to?

Personally anyone that says they completley trust their partner 100% must be lying i believe there is always a niggling doubt, i can't stand when people say 'Oh my partner would never have a second phone' when most likely they do and just hide their sim card in their glove compartment. or 'I know where he is at all times and even 'Oh he would never use social networking sites'

Yet those people who are just being catagoric are the ones more than likely to have an Unfaithful Partner.

What is your opinion?

My opinion is this - I'm married, and my husband can trust me. I don't have a second phone or sim card. He doesn't know where I am at all times, he doesn't feel he needs to know and he doesn't have to keep tabs on me. I use networking sites, and yet my husband can trust me, because I respect him, love him, and don't want to be with anyone else.

So changing him for me in the above (because we treat each other in the same way) no, I wouldn't use a PI to find out what he's up to. To me that would be complete and utter waste of time and money.

bright_side

Ok, I trust my partner 100 %. BUT what I have difficulty with, once in a blue moon, is whether I should trust MY judgement. This is down to my insecurities, nothing to do with him whatsoever. To be honest I don't think he could be bothered with being up to no good :rotfl: and if he did, he would lose me, simple as.

SueC_2

karen23 wrote: »

BUT what I have difficulty with, once in a blue moon, is whether I should trust MY judgement. This is down to my insecurities, nothing to do with him whatsoever.

This is an excellent point and one that we should all remind ourselves of in our paranoid moments!!!

ognum

parsnipnose wrote: »

I am not being unfaithful so if my other half had me followed by a private detective it wouldn't bother me as i have nothing to hide.

But how would you feel about being suspected, it's not black and white it's about trust and understanding.

the fact that you think it's black and white is why you can't understand how others feel!

thorsoak

parsnipnose wrote: »

Hire a Private Investigator to see what your other half was up to?

Personally anyone that says they completley trust their partner 100% must be lying i believe there is always a niggling doubt, i can't stand when people say 'Oh my partner would never have a second phone' when most likely they do and just hide their sim card in their glove compartment. or 'I know where he is at all times and even 'Oh he would never use social networking sites'

Yet those people who are just being catagoric are the ones more than likely to have an Unfaithful Partner.

What is your opinion?

I'm going to turn your question on its head :-

What would YOU think if your partner hired a Private Investigator to see what you were up to?

How would you feel? Hurt? Devastated that your partner didn't trust you?

In my opinion, if a partnership is not based on trust - then it isn't a partnership.

People live up/down to expectations.

BitterAndTwisted

What's my opinion? That your view of people and relationships is extremely jaundiced and unhealthy. If you carry on like that you will never find anyone to trust and no-one will ever trust you. Then it has magically become a self-fulfilling prophesy.