Help with a death notice

Mojisola

We're writing the notice to go in the paper. Most of the wording is straightforward but we can't get one bit right.

We want to say that people don't have to wear black clothes - the close family won't be - but we know some people would be uncomfortable not doing so. We don't want to force people into bright clothing but can't get it right.

What do we say?
Black clothing optional.
Mourning clothes not necessary.

They just don't sound right.

GlasweJen

Usually of you refer to it as a "celebration of life" rather than a funeral people would get the jist.

Nicki

Family will be dressing to celebrate X's life and you are welcome to do so too?

ky822000

How about 'Because this is a celebration of X's life, the Family would prefer that clothing is not all black' ?

Janepig

I've seen "black attire not essential" in funeral notices. I've also seen requests that people wear an item in a particular colour, ie pink, that was a favourite of the deceased.

Jx

whitewing

Or,

we'll be dressing up in his favourite bright colours to celebrate the life of...

mrs_sparrow

The family will be celebrating his/her life by wearing colours and invite you to join us if you wish.

If this is the case of course. I would not want people to wear black to my funeral either and I think if it has been requested by the family member, then this will be respected without question.

peachyprice

I would go with janepig's suggestion. As you say, there will be people who would not feel right wearing anything other than black, you don't want to make them feel like they're going to be the odd one's out if they choose to do so.

j.e.j.

hmm, you want to say people CAN wear black but they shouldn't feel they have to, and the close family members won't be.

another vote for Janepig's suggestion, something along the lines of: black attire fine, but not essential

Poppy9

Okay I'm going to rock the boat here and I think you should stay silent.

Generally people attending funerals go through an hierarchy to the immediate family so you can use this to filter down by word of mouth that it would be lovely if people wore bright clothes to celebrate X's life.

Personally I wear dark colours to a friend/distant relative but not necessarily black. Immediate family I wear black.

TBH at my sister funeral I couldn't tell you what anyone else was wearing be it pink or black. All that mattered was that they had taken time out of their day to come and pay their respects.

Condolences on your loss and don't fret over attire x

jason1231972

Is it actually a 'celebration of life' you're having? We had a secular COL for our mum who recently passed. It was wonderful (well, as wonderful as these things get, but I digress).

My sister, me, and our partners all wore black, but some turned up in colourful clothes. This was absolutely fine by us. We didn't bother conveying the message of black optional (and didn't want to upset anyone who turned up in lime green, but saw that the very close family was wearing black!), but because we had a COL, it was kind of taken as implicit that anything goes.