Can't take much more.

marybelle01

There is another way of looking at this. The boss stands there and looks at you, and says nothing. If you weren't doing the job to his satisfaction, then I'd think he'd have something to say. So are you perhaps over-reacting?

I also think that you aren't helping yourself here. Don't a recall you mentioing that you have a social phobia and are used to working on your own? Sorry if I've got you confused with someone else, but I thought you said that. So if you go off on your own then you are going to appear stand-offish to people, which only makes matters worse. It's never easy for anyone to fit in to a new workplace, and this one may be a long way off ideal - but it also has at least two workers who have chalked up 20 years between them, so not everybody leaves! But you do have to make an effort as the "new boy". Otherwise this issue may follow you everywhere you go.

On the other side of it, as tallulah has pointed out, you've been just a bit vocal in complaining about the job to the agency (who may have mentioned this) and in having some time off for interviews without getting authorised time off. I can't say I blame you for the latter. But maybe "sticking head firmly under parapet" and being a (mostly) model who is trying to fit in with his collegaues might be an excellent strategy for now.

falko89

mynameistallulah wrote: »

How did they figure it out?

A guy works there who I worked with in another job, The second name easily gives religion away anyway, Catholics are O' or Mc 90% of the time, Protestants have British second names, usually.They came over one day and started asking about "Will I be celebrating the Jubliee" and do I go Marching on 12th of July etc etc.

LadyMissA

falko89 wrote: »

A guy works there who I worked with in another job, The second name easily gives religion away anyway, Catholics are O' or Mc 90% of the time, Protestants have British second names, usually.They came over one day and started asking about "Will I be celebrating the Jubliee" and do I go Marching on 12th of July etc etc.

Just say no to everything. No one can tell your religion by your surname at all. I could be a O' but I am still and athesist!

DCFC79

falko89 wrote: »

Nothing, I applied for 6 jobs in the past 6 weeks or so, 2 interviews but heard nothing back.

I am thinking about going to the guy below the owner/boss and explaining the situation, he interviewed me and seems OK.

Speak to him then if you get on ok with him,

falko89

marybelle01 wrote: »

There is another way of looking at this. The boss stands there and looks at you, and says nothing. If you weren't doing the job to his satisfaction, then I'd think he'd have something to say. So are you perhaps over-reacting?

I also think that you aren't helping yourself here. Don't a recall you mentioing that you have a social phobia and are used to working on your own? Sorry if I've got you confused with someone else, but I thought you said that. So if you go off on your own then you are going to appear stand-offish to people, which only makes matters worse. It's never easy for anyone to fit in to a new workplace, and this one may be a long way off ideal - but it also has at least two workers who have chalked up 20 years between them, so not everybody leaves! But you do have to make an effort as the "new boy". Otherwise this issue may follow you everywhere you go.

On the other side of it, as tallulah has pointed out, you've been just a bit vocal in complaining about the job to the agency (who may have mentioned this) and in having some time off for interviews without getting authorised time off. I can't say I blame you for the latter. But maybe "sticking head firmly under parapet" and being a (mostly) model who is trying to fit in with his collegaues might be an excellent strategy for now.

Yes I do. I hate people looking at me, I can't stand it in fact. I might be over reacting but I'd like to know where I stand. When you see the boss standing watching or him and the other 2 standing watching me talking it can't be good.

mynameistallulah

falko89 wrote: »

A guy works there who I worked with in another job, The second name easily gives religion away anyway, Catholics are O' or Mc 90% of the time, Protestants have British second names, usually.They came over one day and started asking about "Will I be celebrating the Jubliee" and do I go Marching on 12th of July etc etc.

Maybe worth working out what you would do if that situation presented itself again, in this or another role?

As difficult as it is, you need to rise above it - at the moment I imagine your demeanour is playing into their hands, they can tell you are uncomfortable. Instead go in tomorrow with a smile on your face, make sure you to say hello to anyone nearby - if you can tell someone is watching you acknowledge them, give them a smile too. It will either make them smile back (natural reaction when someone smiles at you), or it will make them realise/ think that you are letting their little games go over your head.

falko89

mynameistallulah wrote: »

Maybe worth working out what you would do if that situation presented itself again, in this or another role?

As difficult as it is, you need to rise above it - at the moment I imagine your demeanour is playing into their hands, they can tell you are uncomfortable. Instead go in tomorrow with a smile on your face, make sure you to say hello to anyone nearby - if you can tell someone is watching you acknowledge them, give them a smile too. It will either make them smile back (natural reaction when someone smiles at you), or it will make them realise/ think that you are letting their little games go over your head.

I like this idea, It has the potential to !!!! a few people off. They see me struggling and swearing to myself yet they just sit and watch me and let me sink then report me to the boss for it. I think a nice friendly smile or perhaps go one further and a wave will have some effect or response, Had the boss advertised this job he might of got someone with previous experience in it as he seems unprepared to train someone to do it rather that advertise a totally different position then say its gone when it never existed to begin with and offer this job.

marybelle01

So in actual fact you don't know that anyone reported you, you don't know that they are talking about you when they are standing there, and there might have been a bit of ribbing about whether you were celebrating the jubilee (and there was a bit of that going on in my office - an awful long way from Northern Ireland)? It isn't that I doubt what you say, but it does seem just a bit sensitive. Look at it from their point of view. I could imagine them thinking that you think you're better than them because you won't eat with Catholics. Or don't talk to people. Or don't have a sense of humour. Somebody has to take the first step in making friends - why not you? You may not have been there very long, but you've outlasted others. That counts for something. Make an effort. Smile, as suggested. Start a conversation. Take in some sticky buns to celebrate a birthday - make ones up if you have to! I'd avoid the Queen's though! Eat in the canteen, and ask if you can join someone - don't just wait for someone to join you.

Sambucus_Nigra

falko89 wrote: »

I like this idea, It has the potential to !!!! a few people off. They see me struggling and swearing to myself yet they just sit and watch me and let me sink then report me to the boss for it. I think a nice friendly smile or perhaps go one further and a wave will have some effect or response, Had the boss advertised this job he might of got someone with previous experience in it as he seems unprepared to train someone to do it rather that advertise a totally different position then say its gone when it never existed to begin with and offer this job.

So you think that going into work smiling and saying good morning to people will annoy them? What do you usually do then?

falko89

marybelle01 wrote: »

So in actual fact you don't know that anyone reported you, you don't know that they are talking about you when they are standing there, and there might have been a bit of ribbing about whether you were celebrating the jubilee (and there was a bit of that going on in my office - an awful long way from Northern Ireland)? It isn't that I doubt what you say, but it does seem just a bit sensitive. Look at it from their point of view. I could imagine them thinking that you think you're better than them because you won't eat with Catholics. Or don't talk to people. Or don't have a sense of humour. Somebody has to take the first step in making friends - why not you? You may not have been there very long, but you've outlasted others. That counts for something. Make an effort. Smile, as suggested. Start a conversation. Take in some sticky buns to celebrate a birthday - make ones up if you have to! I'd avoid the Queen's though! Eat in the canteen, and ask if you can join someone - don't just wait for someone to join you.

I do know I was reported, I can tell by the way they squirmed when I confronted them, the red faces gave them away, add to that one of them dropped a hint one day about the other one so they did report me, if these guys are friends who needs enemies. I did eat with everyone else, but after I confronted these guys the atmosphere changed, you can tell when your not wanted or I can, I prefer my own company anyway.