Being Fair

FatVonD

If child 2 was doing an apprenticeship I wouldn't charge rent, they shouldn't be penalised for their choice of further education.

lazer

Gatser wrote: »

I would say:
(1) In our case Child1 is only home around 6 weeks pa so negligible cost
(2) If Child2 earns little (apprenticeship) then we would take that into account and increase the amount of support...but some contribution would still be appreciated!
(3) After the 3 years support period the full (bargain!) contribution of £2500 is payable.

1)Why only 6 weeks? - Is it a foreign university?

2)An apprenticeship is still training/education, just as university is, except its job specific training and generally only pays under £100 a week (similar to the amount of a student loan) - so both are in education
I agree that you shouldn't give your children a free ride in life - but i think maybe you should wait util after the apprentice ship before taking any contribution, and instead as for more help around the house, treat them like an adult, and make them do their fair share of cooking, cleaning, tidying etc.
So the support in this case i supposed depends on the different factors. Please remember that child 1 at university can also work part time, and could have more money than child 2 - do not let child feel as if you don't value them (although this isn't about money really its about personality, don't constantly tell child 1 you are so proud of them for going to university in child 2's presence etc.

3) Sorry - but i think this is unfair. If child 1 has received support from you for 3 years to go to university, and becasue of this gets a high paying job, I think they should pay slightly more than child 2 if they are earning more. Possibly consider having a set figure that they pay of the £125 a month if earning under say £15k, but if earning over this it increases.

Just my ideas - each family is different

My brother and I both went to university and the support got differed due to different circumstances.
We both got our first term fees paid (although brothers university had 2 terms and mine had 3, so i lost out - but parents were trying to be fair!)
Brother got regular flights home paid for him.

I was at a local university and it was expected that I come home every weekend and pay for it myself! Although i did benefit from being at home, as I took shopping back with me (after i moved out of halls!), and sometimes they would give ne a lift back etc.

Life and expectations differ for all families!

Alikay

Gatser wrote: »

(3) After the 3 years support period the full (bargain!) contribution of £2500 is payable.

I don't personally consider £2500 per child to live in the parental home a "bargain" myself! I know you've added up the household bills, but it's hardly the same as a house share when living with mum and dad. I can only imagine you're way more tolerant of the lifestyle choices a fresh-out-of-uni 21 year old might make! Wouldn't you consider that your kids were subsiding YOU if you took £5000 per year between the 2 of them?

adelight

The parents are helping the child at uni gain an advantage in life through education but not completely footing the bill. So charging the child at home a small fixed rent (£200 a month?) allows them to save more money towards their future than if they were living independently with higher living costs.

Gatser

Alikay wrote: »

I don't personally consider £2500 per child to live in the parental home a "bargain" myself! I know you've added up the household bills, but it's hardly the same as a house share when living with mum and dad. I can only imagine you're way more tolerant of the lifestyle choices a fresh-out-of-uni 21 year old might make! Wouldn't you consider that your kids were subsiding YOU if you took £5000 per year between the 2 of them?

I have revised my figure slightly to £2,200pa, but I would not consider that as subsidising the parents as Utilities + Council tax + Insurance + food/consumables = c.£10k

I reckon £180/month is not excessive and I'd rather they contribute at a realistic rate .... then if we want to give them (say) £5k towards a car etc that's ok too. (I am not a TOTAL meany )