abortion and kids

raven83

bargainbetty wrote: »

I remember asking my mum when I was a kid, and she told me that an abortion was an operation women had to stop a pregnancy. When I asked why they would do it, she told me it depended on the woman and her situation. She said some people had illnesses, sometimes the pregnancy wouldn't work or sometimes it just wasn't the best time for that particular woman to be pregnant.

When I was older, she explained the choice aspect of it as well as the medical aspects, and her judgement of my ability to cope with the information she gave was, as always, spot on. Each child will ask questions in their own time, and you answer them according to their capability of understanding it. It's not something you sit them down for, but when they ask, be honest about it.

I would not, under any circumstances, use the phrase 'kill her unborn child'. It is too emotive for a young person - let them decide how they perceive it when they are old enough to understand the implications of having/not having the operation (or indeed the choice).

Best wishes to all

I think this post is spot on. I don't like to hide things from my kids and if they ever asked me i would tell them, and that goes for any subject, i would rather be the one to tell them than they hear it from anyone else. Plus i would want my kids to feel they could come to me if they was ever in a situation like that when they are older.

Person_one

lazer wrote: »

I always knew i could aske my parents anything, and get an honest answer, but that doesnlt mean that they sit down and discuss stuff with you without you asking what it meant.

If a child asks what is abortion - then yes you tell them something, if they don't ask, you don't mention it.

Forewarned is forearmed.

The longer you leave it the higher the chance that their first encounter with the subject will be stressful and upsetting.

raven83

Person_one wrote: »

Forewarned is forearmed.

The longer you leave it the higher the chance that their first encounter with the subject will be stressful and upsetting.

Ditto this, also the more you try and pretend it doesn't happen the more chance they will probably end up going through the procedure. I am open with my kids and i want them to know about the birds and the bees from a fairly early age and all that goes with it, hoping that maybe it will stop them ever becoming in that situation.

BitterAndTwisted

"Oh, you know that I love you dearly but I did have another baby in my tummy once but I had to choose to get rid of it". Not a good idea

Person_one wrote: »

Well if you're going to phrase it like that you should delegate the job to someone less daft!

I see you have misunderstood the point I was attempting to make. Which was most likely my fault with the way I chose to phrase it, rather than yours.

The comment which I made above was how a small child might interpret the information given, not the words a parent would choose to use. This is the main reason why children, rather than teenagers should never be given more information than they are capable of understanding. Although I accept that the people who would be best placed to make that decision would be the ones who know them best: their parents.

I can't think of one good reason why children, say those under the age of 12 or 13, should be burdened with such information.

raven83

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

"Oh, you know that I love you dearly but I did have another baby in my tummy once but I had to choose to get rid of it". Not a good idea







I see you have misunderstood the point I was attempting to make. Which was most likely my fault with the way I chose to phrase it, rather than yours.

The comment which I made above was how a small child might interpret the information given, not the words a parent would choose to use. This is the main reason why children, rather than teenagers should never be given more information than they are capable of understanding. Although I accept that the people who would be best placed to make that decision would be the ones who know them best: their parents.

I can't think of one good reason why children, say those under the age of 12 or 13, should be burdened with such information.

Because if you treat it as a dirty secret the chances it it might turn into just that, if you are open from a young age then maybe if your child was to get into that situation they would discuss it with you.

BitterAndTwisted

I never intimated that I thought the subject of a termination of pregnancy was a "dirty secret". I don't. I just think that there are (many) things that it's not appropriate to burden young children with superfluous information about when they may not be mature enough to process it. I don't see anything wrong with that position. You are welcome to think otherwise

lostinrates

Person_one wrote: »

Forewarned is forearmed.

The longer you leave it the higher the chance that their first encounter with the subject will be stressful and upsetting.

My parents had this attitude and to be honest i do think it made me overcynical and less happy.

I think the idea of not raising it with young children unless raised and then answering a truthful but edited version is best. At school we learned about abortion at eleven. I remember it very clearly.

balletshoes

Person_one wrote: »

Knowing you can ask your parents absolutely anything and always get an honest answer is a wonderful thing for a child to have.

I absolutely agree with this.
I also can't remember when I first knew what an abortion was. I know my parents didn't tell me, because I didn't ask them. My DD hasn't yet asked me, but I will be honest (in an age-appropriate way) with her when the time comes.

Lunar_Eclipse

I've discussed it very briefly, with my 12 year old. It was after we looked around secondary schools, last year, and she couldn't fail to notice poster displays in several of the schools with huge 'Abortion' titles. It's covered in most/all secondary schools as part of compulsory RE.

I think abortion also crops up in the film Footloose fyi, also rated 12.