abortion and kids

Kimberley82

The dirty dancing thread made me wonder what age you have or are planning to explain abortion to your children? And how

Gigervamp

I've never discussed abortion with my kids as the subject has never come up.

Spendless

My 1st pregnancy was terminated due to abnormalities in the baby meaning he would not survive more than a few minutes outside the womb as best case scenario.

From an early age - DS was about 3, when I fetched up the subject that there should have been another child older than him and I have drip fed info since to both him and his sister who is 9. They possibly know more than children of the same age, especially the younger one with regards to this, but I told them early on so they could give medical details should they go onto have their own children. The baby had to be taken out of my tummy as he was unwell and wouldn't live. However, I haven't given full details yet and the subject of abortion for non-medical reasons hasn't arisen so far. At 12 DS has only just had sex-ed this year in his 1st year at Secondary school.

fluffnutter

I don't know. Do people really plan this sort of thing? Surely you wait until something prompts a discussion and you feel your kids are mature enough?

delain

School will raise it anyway at secondary age... I remember hearing about it there, though I already knew because my mum had one a year or so before!

I_wanna_live_for_free

My mother told me as a girl in my year suddenly "wasn't pregnant anymore" and I just didn't understand how or why (age 13)

System

Personally if i was going to have an abortion i wouldnt tell anyone (other than my husband of course) i was pregnant. I certainly wouldnt have told my children.

fluffnutter

I_wanna_live_for_free wrote: »

My mother told me as a girl in my year suddenly "wasn't pregnant anymore" and I just didn't understand how or why (age 13)

Which is precisely my point. Something specific happened, you needed to understand more because you were confused and at 13 you could probably handle the concept.

It just seems a bit weird to decide that on your child's 12th birthday (for example), you sit them down with the detritus of their party still around them and say 'now, son, let me tell you about abortion'. :eek:

jane130

I have never sat down and decided when to discuss abortion with my children ( teenagers and grown ups) usually happens life around them , people we know or tv programmes prompt discussion and we take it from there depending on their age and maturity levels

fluffnutter

How you tell them is more difficult. I guess it depends on the specific circumstances in which you're telling the child (for example do they know someone who's decided to have an abortion because the baby's unwell?)

I think the best thing is to try to be brief, stick to the facts without elaborating on the gory detail, and don't be judgemental. The latter might be easier said than done if you happen to disagree with abortion.

raven83

I can remember from a young age i was aware of abortion. I would hear my older sister's and mum talking about it and about someone who has had one and fairly graphic detail about how it is done. Last year one of our cats had a miscarriage and gave birth to dead kittens, i remember having a conversation with her about how sometimes babies in the tummy don't make it which led to a conversation about how sometimes people can choose to have an operation where they are no longer pregnant no more too. Some people would probably think that is a bad thing that i did but it was just how the conversation went, i wouldn't tell my middle dd that because she is not like dd1 but like i said i didn't plan it the conversation just came about.