Is it too soon to renew your vows after 5 years of marriage?

zaksmum

I can never understand why people feel the need to renew their vows.

I've been married over 40 years and wouldn't dream of renewing them...I'm more than happy to keep to the vows I made to my husband in 1971, and they mean as much today as they did then.

tattycath

teabag29 wrote: »

Hubby and I have been together 8 years and married for 4. We were thinking of renewing our vows next year for several reasons. Firstly we have had a rocky few years and managed to get past some difficulties (which i'd rather not go into), secondly we had a small budget when we got married and we did it in a registry office, this has always been a regret as I was bought up catholic and so would've like to have it in a church and thirdly at the time of getting married I lived the other end of the country to my family and alot of them could not attend which was disappointing (I am now living near them all).

My concern is, is renewing our vows after 5 years of marriage too soon as I dont wanna look silly and from what i've read most people do it after 10 years.

I think that it's a lovely idea. Especially as there were people missing on your big day who would have liked to be there. If your finances were tight at the time of your wedding-why not renew your vows and have a party about it. I don't think it's about papering over cracks or anything. It's a personal thing and if it suits you and your husband to do this I say go for it hun!! :D

globetraveller

Personally I think that if you feel the need to renew your vows after 5 years its something that the two of you do on your own, as they must have broken,or close to being broken, in the first place . If you invite a lot of folks I would bet quite a few would feel the same. They would attend, feel they have to spend money in doing so- new outfits, gifts etc. I can see why it would be nice if you have been together a really long time( and I think 10 years is too early) but 5 years?
Why not just invite folks round to an anniversary party?
That is just my opinion of course

globetraveller

Person_one wrote: »

Its not like a passport photo, the vows don't expire.

If you want to have a Catholic blessing at your church for the sake of the two of you for spiritual reasons then go ahead, nobody will think its silly as long as you don't make a big song and dance about it and treat it like a second wedding.

I missed this post when reading through. I agree with this post.

shirlgirl2004

In the eyes of the Catholic church you aren't married anyway so from that perspective you could but if you were that bothered about that perspective you could have had a very small wedding in church for very little cost the first time. I think most people would think it a waste of time and not be bothered to attend. I know I wouldn't -not that you're inviting me!

Alikay

We've been married 25 years and I don't want to renew our vows: I'm quite pleased that they're old and still in good nick, and really don't see any need whatsoever to re-do them

Nicki

I can see why you might want to renew your vows privately if you have just weathered a difficult patch and feel it is appropriate.

To have a big second wedding seems a bit odd though. If one of my friends or family did this after a few years o marriage and invited me, I'd immediately think their marriage was on the rocks and I am positive among my circle of friends and family it would provoke a lot of gossip horrible though that is. Having seen lots of threads on here about baby showers/weddings abroad, etc I am also fairly sure that some of your friends and family would rather uncharitably assume your motivation for doing so was to get an extra round of wedding gifts and that this would be begrudged by many, and might even attract nasty comments to you directly.

You obviously know your own circle best, but I wouldn't assume that more than a very small group of your closest family and friends would be happy to attend anyway so your second wedding might not be much bigger than your first.

Padstow

shirlgirl2004 wrote: »

In the eyes of the Catholic church you aren't married anyway so from that perspective you could but if you were that bothered about that perspective you could have had a very small wedding in church for very little cost the first time. I think most people would think it a waste of time and not be bothered to attend. I know I wouldn't -not that you're inviting me!

It is as shirlgirl says. You are not married in the eye of the Catholic Church. Best thing is to consult your Priest with what you've asked here.

virgin_moneysaver

I didn't want a big do the 1st time, only did it to keep the peace with the mothers, wouldn't dream of going thru it again!! - vows have stood the test of time for 24 years, repeating them isn't gonna change anything - unless someone wants to pay for it & arrange it all on a hot beach somewhere then I might consider it ;-)

faerie~spangles

teabag29 wrote: »

Hubby and I have been together 8 years and married for 4. We were thinking of renewing our vows next year for several reasons. Firstly we have had a rocky few years and managed to get past some difficulties (which i'd rather not go into), secondly we had a small budget when we got married and we did it in a registry office, this has always been a regret as I was bought up catholic and so would've like to have it in a church and thirdly at the time of getting married I lived the other end of the country to my family and alot of them could not attend which was disappointing (I am now living near them all).

My concern is, is renewing our vows after 5 years of marriage too soon as I dont wanna look silly and from what i've read most people do it after 10 years.

I don't wish to offend: Renewing your vows????? !!!!!!?

You cannot renew the vows you made when you got married.



Personally I would not attend or acknowledge a renewal of vows ceremony.