Is it too soon to renew your vows after 5 years of marriage?

teabag29

Hubby and I have been together 8 years and married for 4. We were thinking of renewing our vows next year for several reasons. Firstly we have had a rocky few years and managed to get past some difficulties (which i'd rather not go into), secondly we had a small budget when we got married and we did it in a registry office, this has always been a regret as I was bought up catholic and so would've like to have it in a church and thirdly at the time of getting married I lived the other end of the country to my family and alot of them could not attend which was disappointing (I am now living near them all).

My concern is, is renewing our vows after 5 years of marriage too soon as I dont wanna look silly and from what i've read most people do it after 10 years.

whitewing

why not have a decent "honeymoon" next year, and then renew after 10? We've been married about the same amount of time and it still feels quite new to us.

mrcow

Personally I'd see it as pretty pointless.

Your marriage is either secure, or it's not.

If it is, you don't need this excessive PDA. Get on with your lives. Lots of people have small weddings. It's the quality of the marriage that counts, not the wedding.
If it isn't secure then the whole thing is pointless anyway - no renewal is going to save it/start things over.

Person_one

Its not like a passport photo, the vows don't expire.

If you want to have a Catholic blessing at your church for the sake of the two of you for spiritual reasons then go ahead, nobody will think its silly as long as you don't make a big song and dance about it and treat it like a second wedding.

Desperado99

I think if that's what you want to do, go for it.

Personally, I don't really get the whole 'renewing vows' thing, but it's your marriage and it's about the two of you not what other people think.

jason1231972

Can you do this kind of thing in a Catholic Church? Genuine curiosity.

Anyway, if you want to do it, then it's not really for anybody to say whether it's too soon or not. You're doing nothing of any legal consequence, so there are no timescales whatsoever, beyond what you think is appropriate.

But, is it necessary? Is it what you really want? Bear in mind that as stated by others, it won't fix anything, and the sustainability of your marriage (the actual legal one you've already had) depends on you as a couple, rather than what kind of ceremony you have

I do like the idea of having another (or, indeed, first) honeymoon, though. It's much more private and personal for you as a couple

itzmee

Mariah Carey renews hers every year doesn't she?

Nan63

I'm not into the whole business of vow renewal. I always see it as papering over the cracks in a marriage and it won't help as clearly the first set of vows didn't, did they? This is not directed at you OP by the way, it's just my first reaction when I hear that someone is renewing their vows.

Perhaps, as suggested, go all out for a fabulous second honeymoon and work together in cementing the bonds of marriage.

Whatever you decide, I hope it works out for you x

mrcow

itzmee wrote: »

Mariah Carey renews hers every year doesn't she?

But isn't that because she's an attention seeking drama queen though?

marisco_2

It is a very personal decision. If it feels right for you both then go ahead and have a wonderful day, surrounded by your family and friends.

People renew their vows for all kinds of reasons. Ultimately it is how you communicate, compromise and work together as a couple that will make the marriage long lasting. If starting off the rest of your lives together by doing this makes you feel stronger then why not do it.

Torry_Quine

I'm going to go against the grain and say that for you this seems like a lovely idea. It's not about cementing over the cracks from what you are saying but celebrating the fact that you've got through some hard times. Having youf family and getting a blessing in church are valid reasons to me.