How do you explain that you can't afford to go out

bouncydog1

billinghamfan wrote: »

I wish I knew what i know now a few years ago.

And we are off to Ireland in August.

Simple - tell him that you can't afford to go out as you have to save to cover the cost of the trip to Ireland.

You mention you are living at home with parents and then talk about moving to London - will you have paid all of your debts before then and have saved? If you think things are tough at the moment they will be worse in London where everything is more expensive.

Best to be up front and honest with him.

slowlyfading

I think the best thing is to be upfront and honest about your debts that way, you have no secrets from each other and he'll understand that you don't want to do things that cost money, and then can be more creative with how you spend your time together

As a side, have you posted an SOA so that we can help you to see where you can make adjustments and then can pay off the debts more quickly?

deep_in

My b/f earns twice what I do and he has no debts he accepts I can't go out and he looks for bargains for me because I have been totally honest about my situation with him. He is tries to help me with my budgeting as much as he can and I have picked up some great tips from him. Honesty is the best policy and he will respect you for it in the long run.

billinghamfan

bouncyd!!! wrote: »

Simple - tell him that you can't afford to go out as you have to save to cover the cost of the trip to Ireland.

You mention you are living at home with parents and then talk about moving to London - will you have paid all of your debts before then and have saved? If you think things are tough at the moment they will be worse in London where everything is more expensive.

Best to be up front and honest with him.

I was living in Guildford but got a job in London and had to move home on a temp basis until I get my deposit sorted for a new place in London. Before anyone says can you not stay at home this is not an option as currently I leave home at 6:50am and don't get home till 8:00pm most nights, which I know for most people is a normal working day but on top of this I will be studying for CIMA (starting in August) which will increase my earnings reduce my debts etc. So with my increased wage I can afford to move to London once I have the deposit saved and the olympics finish. I am well aware of how much London costs but however it's not much more expensive than Guildford.
I just didn't budget on having a boyfriend.

billinghamfan

slowlyfading wrote: »

As a side, have you posted an SOA so that we can help you to see where you can make adjustments and then can pay off the debts more quickly?

Thanks slowlyfading.

With the saving of my desposit and no fixed travel costs (sometimes staying in london sometimes at home) it's not going to help as I know the only savings I can make is through not going out. My phone, insurance and petrol bills are fixed for the month, I cannot resuce my insurance or phone bills as I'm in a contract for both until next year. I can't change my CIMA fees and I have to completed the two exams before august which I have to pay for so there isn't anyway I can reduce my bills at the moment.

19lottie82

bexiboo92 wrote: »

Does living at home stop you doing this?

My boyfriend lodged with a family before we moved in together and I was there 6 out of 7nights a week, find out if the housemate minds: i'm pretty sure he won't.

If not, look up free things to do on the internet.

IMO a room mate won't mind a couple of nights a week, but anymore than this and it starts to grate a bit......

billinghamfan

19lottie82 wrote: »

IMO a room mate won't mind a couple of nights a week, but anymore than this and it starts to grate a bit......

Yep which is why when my parents are away he is staying at mine if we can find a bus that gets him to work.

Plus I try and cook for everyone including the housemate.

But I'm still wary about overstaying my welcome.

HeadAboveWater

deep_in wrote: »

My b/f earns twice what I do and he has no debts he accepts I can't go out and he looks for bargains for me because I have been totally honest about my situation with him. He is tries to help me with my budgeting as much as he can and I have picked up some great tips from him. Honesty is the best policy and he will respect you for it in the long run.

Bingo Be up front and honest. Besides, it's YOU he's dating not your money!

I live on my wages from month to month, to the very penny, but thankfully not in debt any more My partner has quite a bit saved up over the years. I'm not ashamed to tell him I can't afford certain things when suggestions are made. And you shouldn't be either. Offer an alternative as and where possible. eg. a picnic instead of dinner out, walk in the park instead of cinema...

You're working hard to get your head above water and he's gotta respect that. Best thing you can spend is TIME together

HeadAboveWater

billinghamfan wrote: »

Plus I try and cook for everyone including the housemate.

But I'm still wary about overstaying my welcome.

Just ask if he minds! I'm sure if you're offering to feed the housemate now and again he will NOT mind you being there

billinghamfan

Men are simple creatures.