Support for the wife of a serial debtor

johnbfan

he had the cheek yesterday to ask could he not look after his cashpoint card himself. Thats one of the things that got him in so much trouble. And he is overdrawn at the bank and because he missed payments on the credit cards he has a bigger monthly payment to make up the missing money so looks like Im going to have to put my money to pay his debts for a couple of months. I've worked out a budget and he can have £10 a week spending for a while - he wants more!!! I told him if he doesn't do it my way he can have it all back - cashcard, credit cards, and everything else, including the trying to sort it out. Its my way or I quit.

Think he beginning to realise I've had enough. When I 'lost it' last week he said he had never seen me do anything like it before and I think for the moment it brought home to him how seriously upset and worried I am by it all. Whether he will remember and keep this in mind is another matter.

But its my way or he is on his own so he better listen.

johnbfan

Our 17 year old asked for £70 for trainers last night (he is not working). I told him he could not have it and when I explained he said that is not is problem and has nothing to do with him. He has to have the money and too bad if I don't have it. He just would not accept that what his Dad has done affects all of us.

The older son is working and owes me about £600 that he borrowed over the last few months, he says he will start paying me back this pay day but at £50 a month its not enough. I need more from him to help pay for the bills but he says its £50 or nothing.

I will never lend him any money again. And if he decides Im not getting that back thats the end of Christmas and birthday presents - he can buy his own.

Why is it they followed their father in the genes, and not me!!!

weeg

johnbfan- you really are brilliant. That's all I have to say really

Running_man

JohnB Sorry but you are already starting to bail him out-you wrote-I think will have to put my money in for a couple of months.Then it will be just another couple etc.It is so easy to drift back.

As regards sons dont wish to be rude but 17 year old if he wants the trainers etc tell him to get off his A**e and get some work and buy them himself.If still in education still can work in evening or w/end.
Older son you tell him how much you want its not his choice otherwise show him the front door tell him to find anywhere cheaper than living at home.
I think you are making it too easy for them (as we all do)
Time for OH and sons to come into the real world.
Sorry if this sounds harsh and causes offence not meant to but to me it sounds like you are still taking resposobility for them all