Getting a whole new image....

JennyP

I'm not very good with clothes, hair or make-up. I'm also in my forties and single and would like to meet someone new.
At the weekend, a friend took me to John Lewis and I had the personal shopper experience. I was sceptical. It was brilliant. Bought five items and though they weren't particularly cheap, the boost I feel as a result is totally amazing and considering how much I'll wear the new clothes and enjoy wearing them compared with the amount I've spent on clothes that don't suit me over the years. ... well, I think it'll be worth it in the end.
Anyway, I'd now like a hairstyle that suits me and perhaps to learn how to do make up too.
I have a fairly good hairdresser but have looked the same for ages now. I have no idea what the best cut and colour would be for my shape of face and skin tone. Anyone know how to get the star treatment like on Gok Wan and What Not To Wear and similar programmes where they make people over i.e. how you can get the kind of advice about hair that I got about clothes, preferably without spending a fortune. My hairdresser doesn't have suggestions for new styles or for what might suit me.
Likewise make-up. How can I learn how to do make-up? I have watched videos, read books and had make-over sessions in stores in the past. WOuld like something better really....
Any ideas please?

LisaW123

I don't know much about make-up as I only ever use lipstick and mascara and you probably know already that you can book make-up appointments with consultants in department stores. It might be worth experimenting with one or two of these concessions as I think they are free, although I suspect you may get a hard sell on products.

Have you thought about Toni and Guy or Saks for a hair appointment? They are quite pricey (minimum £50 for a cut and blow dry at Toni and Guy) but their cutters are usually pretty good and they are more likely to spend a bit of time with you discussing what you want/what you would suit. They have a style finder online. http://www.toniandguy.com/style-finder. I think Saks have something similar.

JennyP

I think I tried Toni and Guy before and it was more expensive than I usually pay - which would have been fine, but I didn't feel it was significantly better!

MummyMummy_2

You can get make up training courses at your local college which run over a few weeks or you can search for a local training orovider of make up courses and you can get a full days training in professional techniques for usually around £100-£200 or in my area there are lots of make up artists who offer make up lessons or will sort through your own make up collection to find what will work for you at you already have etc they charge around £40-£60 for a hour-2 hour 'lesson'. If your hairdresser isn't giving you what you want then look elsewhere! Book an appointment and then when you go take lots of styles/colours you like and show them, ask the hairdresser to be honest with you and if he/she doesn't think a style/colour you've chosen will suit you ask them to do something similar that will work for you. Don't forget about things like getting your eyebrows professionally done - I know I forever go on about them on here haha but seriously a good brow wax can make the world of difference to your face/appearance and confidence. A good brow shape can give you the appearance of looking younger too! X

JennyP

Thanks for that. I think there's a tendency - well, I have a tendency - to neglect my appearance a bit, either saying that I can't afford to spend money on it or saying that it's too material and that I aspire to more spiritual things! I tried not buying clothes for most of last year but ended up feeling really crap about myself! At the weekend, I just felt really revitalised by the new clothes from John Lewis. It's just about making the most of yourself isn't it and of what you've got? I like my hairdresser and I think she's good - I just feel like I always come out looking exactly the same!

LisaW123

I no longer go to Toni and Guy as their staff often changed and I was a bit fed up at paying their prices and ending up with a different person doing my hair each time i went. I've been going to a mid range priced local hairdresser and am happy; though Toni and Guy were very good and spent a lot of time with me when I went for a radical restyle - long to shortish. I remember a hairdresser telling me once that there were only 3 haircuts and everything else was just tinkering with those basic styles. Instead of looking for a new style, why don't you get your hair done more often. Even if you don't need a cut, you can maybe treat yourself to a blow dry if you are going out. One of the best things I bought was a Babyliss big hair styler. I wouldn't say it gives the same result as a professional blowdry but I get a much better finish with it than without. I also agree totally with what another poster has said about having your eyebrows done professionally. I have mine threaded and you get a much better result than you can achieve (well than I can achieve) with tweezers.

Don't feel guilty about spending money on yourself if you can afford it. By the same token, I think you should do this kind of thing for yourself, not to "catch" a man. Some men are very influenced by appearance but, in my experience, such types are often shallow and controlling. Present yourself in a manner you're comfortable with and that makes you feel good about yourself.

JennyP

I suppose it is about me too - not about catching someone. It's the whole thing about feeling good about yourself and feeling confident. My gay best friend says I have been hiding my figure under baggy clothes for months - I'm not fat (size 14) but I used to be size 8 so it's getting used to being bigger than I'm used to. It felt SO empowering yesterday putting nice clothes on. Weirdly, I was then asked out today by someone I have liked for months. He hasn't even seen the new look - he sent a text asking me to meet him.

I think it's about confidence and feeling good - rather than finding a man - but if I feel good about myself, I no longer see myself as left on the shelf even when I'm single. Does that make sense?

I like the idea of going more often to the hairdressers. because my hairdresser does a good job. I generally love it when I leave the salon!

Anyway, all inspiring stuff.

I went to a buddhist lecture on loving kindness a couple of weeks ago (though am not buddhist) which was all about being kind to yourself. I think we often feel guilty about being kind to ourselves....I know I do. It's not just clothes either but about eating the right food and taking time to exercise even when I'm busy with work!

Cat501

I think it's brilliant what you're doing Jenny! For the hair thing, I find it a little strange that your current hairdresser has no suggestions!

This might sound a bit strange to some people, and it takes a bit of plucking up courage (for me anyway), but if for example I'm at a checkout and I really like the operator's hair (or clothes or make up) and I think it might suit me, I'll tell them how good it looks and ask where they got it [done]. Most people are chuffed to bits at getting a random compliment from a stranger, and those who aren't? Their loss!

eta just seen the above - how cool is that?! I never get asked out by people I like lol!! I'm assuming you're going to go - good luck and have a fab time!!!

JennyP

Found this site:

http://www.dailymakeover.com

Great fun!

Am looking at myself with short hair and with blond hair. Thought neither would suit me but am wondering if I dare actually try it - the virtual me looks fine with short blond hair!

murphydog999

Re hair, I had a brilliant hairdresser who would come up with all sorts of new ideas, then we moved and I thought I'd found another good one, but after a year she seemed to loose interest. As it happens, 'groupon' were doing a really good deal with someone else, so I went for it and got a fresh pair of eyes. I've now got a style I never would have thought suited me and everyone says I look 10 years younger.

The common denominator for both innovative hairdressers was that they were male - a much preferred option, I think they have a different way of looking/judging you.

Very interested in your personal shopper comments, have always wondered about the benefits of that service.

JennyP

That's interesting. Have never had a male hairdresser!
The personal shopper was well worth it. I felt instantly more confident in my new clothes!