Hoarding...not just on TV

aliasojo

I'm not sure I see having loads of toiletries and practical stuff like that as hoarding.

I see it as bulk buying as most of the time it's done when there's an offer on and it's done for a positive reason i.e. to save cash in the long run.

I bought several (quite a few 'severals' ) boxes of soap powder when it was on offer/glitch from Amazon last year. 13 months later and I'm only halfway through it. It's a pain trying to store it but it has saved me money.

So that's a good 'hoard' imo.

thriftwizard

I had the same experience since going through freecycle - some things come up so often they have lost their value for me, as like buses, I know there will be 3 along in a minute

Does anyone else wonder who else in their Freecycle groups is a closet hoarder? I have several on my list - the ones who always fire off an email straight away, more or less whatever you're offering, usually a nice polite one (the less-polite ones generally seem to be dealers/car-booters) but then forget to come & get it or get sidetracked/snowed-under? One of mine is actually a good friend & fellow "vintage" trader who never, ever invites anyone into her home; can't help wondering & hoping that she's not facing the clutter monster too. And I have visions of some of the Freecycled items "doing the rounds" like some bizarre version of the Trobriand islanders' sacred "Kula ring" objects, going round & round the houses until they finally fall apart...

Jojo, if I'm feeling brave enough, I will ask my 19 y.o. DD1 your questions later. She's very forthright & I have a feeling I won't like the answers... but I do need to know.

ETA: after helping my mother move, though, I am never going to worry about my wardrobe again. My clothes fill half a small wardrobe & a chest of drawers. She's filled both wardrobes in their new bedroom and most of the two in the spare room, as well as two big chests of drawers with her clothes, then got quite cross with my poor stepfather for filing his few shirts & suits "any old where!"

alec_eiffel

aliasojo wrote: »

I'm not sure I see having loads of toiletries and practical stuff like that as hoarding.

I see it as bulk buying as most of the time it's done when there's an offer on and it's done for a positive reason i.e. to save cash in the long run.

I bought several (quite a few 'severals' ) boxes of soap powder when it was on offer/glitch from Amazon last year. 13 months later and I'm only halfway through it. It's a pain trying to store it but it has saved me money.

So that's a good 'hoard' imo.

I think it depends on the reason for buying it. Some of us will buy something when it's a great deal and work our way through the stock until the next time there's a great offer, that's very sensible budgeting. Others will just buy and buy, not have a proper system for storing or will just pile it up as a big comfort blanket. The stock never goes down as the buying never stops because if any brand is good enough then there's always a good offer and never a good reason to stop buying. If that makes sense.

I have to not stockpile things like that. I stick to one brand, have one bottle in use and one in stock (there are two people in the house so at any one time I know there is no need to have more than two bottles of shampoo, two bottles of shower gel, two toothbrushes etc on the go)- so I can be satisfied I know I'm not going to run out but I don't have it stashed all over the place. The more I have of something the more I hold onto it, if I can see things getting less, but nothing bad happens then it makes me calmer.

wannabe_sybil

This gave me a lot to think about.

· Downfall - Interesting question. Laziness (at one point I couldn't walk the length of a street, but I have never been enthusiastic about a clean house). Yarn though I am now being harder and hard on myself so that I don't bring things in. Academic books. I know - the biggie- bulk buying! If I see something on offer I never buy just one.

· Easy - I don't about this one. Once I get going I am pretty good - I have been doing this on and off for eighteen months, and the house is slightly lighter. Once I make a call I am usually okay.

· Eccentric-Yarn - I have tons and tons of yarn, huge heaps of them, and zillions of half finished projects. I have a sweater that has been half sewn up for two years. I hate finishing a project.

· Trigger- Mother was a hoarder, grandmother was a hoarder, father has tendencies, and extreme poverty when growing up. I don't know what it is like to grow up in a 'normal' environment.

· Help- What helps is watching the hoarders programmes and knowing that one day I will have to help clear my uncle's home. Then I refuse to let it happen to me. Also seeing things destroyed because they are not looked after/properly stored because there is too much stuff helps.

I hate finishing a task, and I don't know why. It is really hard. If there is a huge mound of ironing and I get to the last two pieces, it is really, really hard to finish those last pieces. I really don't get that bit.

aliasojo

I can't really answer JoJo's other q's because most of them didn't apply.

Yes, my Father was a hoarder but it didn't affect us in any way as he was an 'organised' hoarder if that makes sense.

The stuff he collected was the biggest heap of garbage you could possibly imagine ....things like seriously holey jumpers 'that he could darn', odd socks 'that could be useful for something else', bit's of electric cable a foot long, random bits of metal, all sorts of DIY type stuff that was really of no use at all but he kept 'just in case'.

I'm a big DIY'er and was very hands on during our house refurb and I found myself doing the same. We had one room that was kept aside for tools etc and I managed to fill it with 'just in case' bits. OH persuaded me to dump most of it thankfully.

With Dad's stuff it was all contained in one area so didn't impact on the family. Mum made sure of that, lol. I grew up thinking everyone kept stuff 'just in case' but other than that it didn't affect me in any other way.

wannabe_sybil

aliasojo wrote: »

I'm not sure I see having loads of toiletries and practical stuff like that as hoarding.

I see it as bulk buying as most of the time it's done when there's an offer on and it's done for a positive reason i.e. to save cash in the long run.

I bought several (quite a few 'severals' ) boxes of soap powder when it was on offer/glitch from Amazon last year. 13 months later and I'm only halfway through it. It's a pain trying to store it but it has saved me money.

So that's a good 'hoard' imo.

Bulk buying is good - I bought a huge box of Fairy soap powder for £10 which is better than Makro. But for me, bulk buying is a comfort blanket and not a financial decision. I had to be really tough on myself and not buy loo roll from Approved Food. I like the less expensive big rolls you can get in the supermarket, I am not keen on quilted as my loo has a bend in the outlet and I am scared of blocking it, and I have several dozen rolls already. But I wanted to buy it as it was a 'good deal' and it would make me feel safer. I think that there are 'good' hoards/stores, but I just threw out dozens of packets of angel delight - my son had a fad, I bought in bulk from Approved Food, the fad ended.

I think the use of a bulk buy and how often it happens is a clue toward whether it is canny or calamitous.

alec_eiffel

wannabe_sybil wrote: »

This gave me a lot to think about.

· Downfall - Interesting question. Laziness (at one point I couldn't walk the length of a street, but I have never been enthusiastic about a clean house). Yarn though I am now being harder and hard on myself so that I don't bring things in. Academic books. I know - the biggie- bulk buying! If I see something on offer I never buy just one.

· Easy - I don't about this one. Once I get going I am pretty good - I have been doing this on and off for eighteen months, and the house is slightly lighter. Once I make a call I am usually okay.

· Eccentric-Yarn - I have tons and tons of yarn, huge heaps of them, and zillions of half finished projects. I have a sweater that has been half sewn up for two years. I hate finishing a project.

· Trigger- Mother was a hoarder, grandmother was a hoarder, father has tendencies, and extreme poverty when growing up. I don't know what it is like to grow up in a 'normal' environment.

· Help- What helps is watching the hoarders programmes and knowing that one day I will have to help clear my uncle's home. Then I refuse to let it happen to me. Also seeing things destroyed because they are not looked after/properly stored because there is too much stuff helps.

I hate finishing a task, and I don't know why. It is really hard. If there is a huge mound of ironing and I get to the last two pieces, it is really, really hard to finish those last pieces. I really don't get that bit.

I totally understand your last point! Those last few bits are so difficult for me to deal with. The last bit of washing up, little bits of ironing, getting to the bottom of the laundry basket. I find it difficult to deal with that. And the paper, all those little bits of paper - receipts, shopping lists stuff like that. DH will often come home from work even now (6 years on) and there will be a small pile of - receipts, paperclips, a pen etc and I will have to ask him to help me with it. I do not know why for the life of me but it's my last barrier.

GreyQueen

Hmm, there's one woman who is constantly offering stuff on my Freecycle group. Probably several dozen items a week, and has been thus since I joined nearly 2 years ago.

I don't know if she's decluttering the hoarded-house-from-hell, or runs a houseclearance business and this is a way of getting rid of the low-value small domestic stuff, or what, but I have often wondered...............Still, it all sounds like good useful stuff and the Takens posted afterwards suggest that she is performing a useful service to the rest of the group.

I guess that washing powder (like my bar soap and toothpaste) is good clean hoarding, in the respect that it is a hoard which will diminish through natural attrition and, if bought at silly-prices, represents a form of savings. Heaven knows, given that the interest on cash savings is below the real rate of inflation, money in the bank is having its purchasing power eroded.

I feel that I went a wee bit over the top with the bar soap, personally. I'm the daughter of a hoarder and have some issues which I need to keep an eye on. However, I am minded that Jo Jo's early posts mentioned that That Woman was hoarding cleaning supplies among the many other varieties of the hoard, so I mustn't get complacent......I think it's helpful to identify a tendancy and to nip it in the bud before it comes to the point where it becomes a major problem.

I did find Dri Pak soda crystals going at 68p/kilo in Savers (national chemist chain?) recently so stocked up as the price everywhere for the past year or more was about the £1 mark and I do use it regularly. The undersink cupboard is now full.

I had a small triumph today; I have cleared out the last dregs of the last bottle of handcream and am going to buy a new one. Just one. Not two, not three, not half a dozen. It is a small personal triumph. Keep on with the hoards and stashes, we can get there in the end.

Possession

wannabe_sybil wrote: »

Bulk buying is good - I bought a huge box of Fairy soap powder for £10 which is better than Makro. But for me, bulk buying is a comfort blanket and not a financial decision. I had to be really tough on myself and not buy loo roll from Approved Food. I like the less expensive big rolls you can get in the supermarket, I am not keen on quilted as my loo has a bend in the outlet and I am scared of blocking it, and I have several dozen rolls already. But I wanted to buy it as it was a 'good deal' and it would make me feel safer. I think that there are 'good' hoards/stores, but I just threw out dozens of packets of angel delight - my son had a fad, I bought in bulk from Approved Food, the fad ended.

I think the use of a bulk buy and how often it happens is a clue toward whether it is canny or calamitous.

Yes this is exactly me - I don't consider myself to be a hoarder and I don't have stuff piled up like my grandma, I consider myself to be a messy mare. But I have huge stockpiles and there must be some psychological reason why I keep buying it. Or rather kept buying it - I don't have spare money now and always pay off credit cards so I can't buy it now. Just as well, eh.

whitewing

· Downfall (what is your hoarding downfall) Paperwork, any scraps of paper related to my son's childhood, school, college and university paperwork (and I mean all of it). And then anything that was mine, especially if someone had given it to me (not necessarily as a present, even as a getting rid of something they didn't want).

· Easy (What dont you have trouble throwing out) Anything that actually reaches the bin/recycling containers

· Eccentric (What part of your hoard would make you sound eccentric to other people?) the emotion behind it and how upset I feel if I felt forced to constantly say no.

· Trigger (What do you think triggered your hoarding?) Partly because my dad was hoarder enough for it to make the papers when I was at secondary school, partly because I never could make my parents see me as a worthy individual so I collected 'evidence' that I existed and did well but it was never enough evidence to stop me feeling empty. Depression made my memory bad so without the written evidence I worried it would forget my son's childhood (single parent when he was young. Partly too because I grew up in a large family and nothing was ever my own, it either had to be shared, or it was taken and regifted by my parents (chaotic with money). Some was a crafting issue in the sense that I like scrapbooking so aimed to make son's stuff into albums, which allows me to chuck away unwanted stuff. But I can't keep up with the sheer amount there is.
I also was very frightened of the house being broken into at night and having piles of paper and clutter around made me feel safer because I felt that no one could get to me while I slept. (I wasn't abused as a child that I recall though).

Help My lovely husband who acknowledges the emotion and lets me feel scared and hurt, and who encourages me to trust and believe in myself. If I'm happier in myself then the stuff can come and go. Actually, I am slightly the other way now.