Hoarding...not just on TV

System

· Downfall (what is your hoarding downfall) Cleaning products. I buy far more than i actually need.

· Easy (What dont you have trouble throwing out) Clothes

· Eccentric (What part of your hoard would make you sound eccentric to other people?) My stash of cleaning products probably. People would think i was mad on cleaning

· Trigger (What do you think triggered your hoarding?) The desire to find the 'ultimate' cleaning product

Possession

GQ you would like it in Japan. Will try to cut a long story short, but if you are invited to a wedding there, you give the bride and groom money - a lot, dependent on your status and your relationship to them. The bride and groom give you presents, bags full of them ordered to the glee of various dept stores. Quite a common one was a box of lots of soaps, beautfully wrapped of course. Another strange one was a box of lots of sugar sachets. I can't find a pic of what I want to show, but this kind of thing.
http://global.rakuten.com/en/search?k=wedding%20gift%20soap&tl=&p=2
Hoarder's paradise!

And I guess I count as a toiletries hoarder. I haven't bought any shampoo for more than 2 years now but I still have enough to last another 10! I bought it with health and beauty vouchers for clubcard points, but I overbought shampoo and didn't buy enough plax, toothpaste and soap.

GreyQueen wrote: »

It's sooo comforting to be among like-minded souls.:)

There are 53 in the airing cupboard and the rest in the shopping bag. I don't obsessively-count them (that would be odd) but I do have the toiletries on an inventory and mark down the total when I take one from the cupboard into the bathroom.

The toiletries inventory is to stop me buying any more until I've used up what I have and it's mostly working. Apart from soap, obviously. We won't discuss the 24 tubes of toothpaste, either, if you don't mind.:o:o:D

bossymoo

Hi
Just wanted to cheer all you guys on, I think you are doing marvellous and so inspiring to each other. I've been following the thread, as was really touched by Jojo's story, and it's so great that what's happened is helping all you lovely people confront the hoard. It is so very true that objects don't convey love or care. When our loved ones are gone from us, the love stays, inside. Not in their things. A few mementoes, yes. Selected because they are special. But as one poster has said, don't let the special one or two items become clouded by hundreds of other items.

Really well done, all of you
X

rozmister

Downfall - Shoes, clothes, make up and accessories! I have 2 store cards (the shame!!) and am always picking up a top here, a pair of heels there, etc. I also recently become obsessed with nail polish and now collecting nail polishes and bits (dimantes, brushes, etc) like a demon - I like to reason my £3 bottles of nail polish cost a lot less than my £30 tops/shoes so they're a great alternative!

Easy - Functional items like electrical things or furniture. It's all emotional with me and I just don't feel attached to things I buy solely to serve a functional purpose

Eccentric - I did have 42 pairs of shoes/boots/flip flops until recently but I am now down to 27 after a clear out. Also I had about 50 weight watchers magazines (mainly from the old points system that hasn't been used for about 2 years now) but as I haven't weight watched for over a year I threw them all out recently. Still have quite a few recipe magazines and SW magazines (not doing SW either atm). I don't ever use them but I can't throw them out!!!

· Trigger - I was bullied as a kid and I always thought the 'right clothes/haircut/make up' would make me fit in. I didn't get any of those things really because my Mum wasn't very trendy (bless her) and for most of my childhood we were poor. I wasn't allowed a lot of stuff the other kids had and now I'm an adult I allow myself those things. Right down to Ribena that we weren't allowed as kids but I now buy when it's on offer and hoard. I generally hoard loads of food because when I was a kid we'd run out of money and live out of the freezer so despite never running out of money I hoard the food up...just in case!!

· Help - Recognising the clutter makes me feel stressed and chaotic and living with a ruthless scottish girl who is VERY anti-hoarding. As much as her nagging !!!!es me off I do find myself now thinking - if Jen finds out you bought a foot spa she'll go mental so just put it back now. I even sneak things into the house sometimes like a real addict!!

rozmister

Sorry to double post guys but I read back and saw somebody said hoarding was linked to loss which I found really interesting. When I was 12 three out of the four significant adults in my life (Grandma, Dad and Godmother) died within 9 months. Maybe that's why I hoard?

Also if you're computer savvy I meant to say - e-bills can help you. I can't bring myself to throw a bill away (just in case) but I barely read them when they come (flick through once) and then keep them for years and years. I select e-bill wherever possible and then there's no paper to struggle to get read of

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Good to see everything's going swimmingly here!

I am out of action for a couple of days, as I appear to be having a severe RA flare. My elbow is the size of an apple, my wrist is grinding and all my glands are the size of golf balls. And I've got a gig on Friday night, so I need my arms and hands to work so I can play and sing.

I have decided that, after avoiding it for seven years, I am going to ask to be put on the scary drugs. I refused on the grounds I could get pregnant, but I'm 39 now and haven't conceived since I was 30. So it's unlikely.

Odds are that I will have horrendous side effects, I'm usually allergic, non responsive or chuck my guts as soon as any pill comes within a mile of me. So I must have the place perfect before I commence treatment in case I can't tidy as easily.


In view of the questionnaire, I'd like to add one for the family:

How long have you known your relative has had a hoarding problem?


What do you feel about the hoards?


Have you ever experienced harm, whether physical or mental, as a direct result of the hoarding or the board?


What was your relative's response to the harm you suffered?


If you could get rid of just one aspect of the hoard, what would it be?


Has the hoarding damaged your relationships in any way?


At the most basic level, how does the prospect of your relative's behaviour remaining unchanged make you feel?


What are the justifications you are most likely to hear?


For me, the answers include: forever, sick, panicky and claustrophobic, repeated injury, sickness and pain, she doesn't care, the preciousssssssses come first, the toys, seeing as she was an evil ....., she has no right to pretend she's cuddly and gentle like a child, what relationship? Sorry for my brother who has to live in a place where the ..... who damaged his head so much he can't cope living alone can't even have a bath or cook, and, last of all 'because it's MIIIIINE!'

calicocat

BLOSSOM......you are not hogging the thread , everyones input is really interesting and helpfull , I think this is great.

I love the sticker idea and may well pinch this as it will focus my mind on what I had planned to do next.
:rotfl: 161 bars of soap.....I love it...god knows how many I have but they are all in an indian style basket thing. Mine are mainly expensive ones or unusual ones , I don't use them...I just HAVE them and every few years look at them.

I think I am a bit odd as I go through fads of collecting then change to something else.
I also have every pay slip from 16.....why ?? Deffo gonna throw those tomorrow as once I saw it in the written form I have reolised how rediculous, I don't need them.

DOWNFALL..........anything I decide to collect for a while , when things are a bargain , if I think I may find a use for it before I die and wake up one day thinking I need it back. That some day I may have no money.

EASY..........any junk mail or empty bottles ,cartons,papers,mags. I do get a bit twitchy over jars though thinking I can use them for something (never made jam in my life)

ECCENTRIC............I guess to some people any of my mini collecting fads could be deamed as this. Some think my latest fad leading to over 20 duvet sets (I am single) is odd , but I have a friend who has more than me who doesn't really hoard anything. I will maybe have to think a bit longer about this as as I go through this process I am sure something will pop out and bite me.

TRIGGER.............no clue really , I have always loved 'looking' at things though , and keeping them in nice boxes etc , even from little I can remember mum saying I have always loved boxes and kept trinkets and collected things to keep and look at or re-arrange. We did get burgled when I was a young kid and after this was quite paranoid about my guinea-pigs (I thought the burgler was really after them but hadn't found them).....so either used to sneak down at night and take them to bed with me or padlock the hutches .....dunno if that counts , but to be fair I think I liked trinket collecting before this. I think for me it is more of a flipping shopping thing, I used to shop till I dropped.

HELP...........this thread !......and to be fair this whole forum , I have stopped the whole shopping all the time now and spend the time I would have shopped reading things on here or joining a challenge. I have learned lots of stuff.

blossomhill_2

JoJo
Good to see you back here - I was just about to remind any newcomers or readers to thank Post #1 - please

I will think about your added q's and let you know - I haven't really confronted what the hoarding has done to my family - yet - but am very proud of the way DD is being very supportive of my efforts in just accepting that I will do it, just need to do it at my own pace and can't throw out some seemingly in-the-way-being-kept-for-no-reason-bizarre-worthless-objects yet.

She is also accepting that I am acquiring a few new mini-collections during this process but accepts my word that I will keep in control of the urges - eg saving all tins now as mouses have nibbled through so many containers of garden products in the shed

It is a bit weird for her when she visits now as I open the door when the knocker goes and let people, even partial strangers, in without hiding - something I haven't done for many years

alec_eiffel

· Downfall - laziness (yes, I was lazy, I own that and I just didn't want to stand up and get going once I knew I had to). In physical terms paper. Paper is still hard so DH deals with it, he also cleans out plugholes and does the recycling.

· Easy- clothing

· Eccentric- nothing it was all just junk.

· Trigger- no identity

· Help- moments of clarity. I started off when I heard started hearing myself. I don't know what triggered it but I heard the excuses for what they were - why it wasn't my fault, why I hid behind the chair so I didn't have to let the meter reader in (yes them again), why I kept the curtains closed, why I was hiding from MIL when she was shouting through the letter box to me, why the things were important, why it was ok that Dh had to get up at 6am to go to the 24 hour supermarket to buy new underwear/clothes to wear for work (happened numerous times).

DH has been a great help with the physical stuff, I knew he was there for me, he would sit with me if I asked him to but he never questioned what I was getting rid of and never had a go when I faltered.

Also working at a charity shop helped. I learned both how unimportant and how important things are. Unimportant when families bring a whole house worth of stuff they have just boxed up without even going through it and important in that things that I greedily hold on to that have no value for me can have great value to someone who really wants it.

The best thing someone ever said to me was that change happens when the fear of staying the same is worse than the fear of change - when I realised my way of living was hard, not normal then that phrase was the motivator.

I am pleased to say I filled a charity bag with clothes and shoes last night.

blossomhill_2

Judi wrote: »

· Downfall (what is your hoarding downfall) Cleaning products. I buy far more than i actually need.

· Eccentric (What part of your hoard would make you sound eccentric to other people?) My stash of cleaning products probably. People would think i was mad on cleaning

· Trigger (What do you think triggered your hoarding?) The desire to find the 'ultimate' cleaning product

Judi You must be an ad-man's dream! I am the same with shampoo and conditioner and when the Tesco DTD hoard subsides and I actually have to buy the stuff I intend to buy 2 plain pump dispensers for the bathroom, keep one for shampoo, one for conditioner, and stop myself being swayed by packaging and branding

Anyone who is a bit of a pushover for advertisers - why not read up on tecniques the manufacturers and stores etc use to sway you, and use that knowledge to rise above their cunning - remember a few years ago when we all fell hook line and sinker for any cleaning product with an orange on the label? LOL

Also working at a charity shop helped. I learned both how unimportant and how important things are. Unimportant when families bring a whole house worth of stuff they have just boxed up without even going through it and important in that things that I greedily hold on to that have no value for me can have great value to someone who really wants it.

Alec, re your post above (sorry not too clever with quotes) Great point! I had the same experience since going through freecycle - some things come up so often they have lost their value for me, as like buses, I know there will be 3 along in a minute