Hoarding...not just on TV

RAS

GreyQueen wrote: »

I suspect fellow-travellers on this thread may get where I'm coming from. F'rinstance, if my manager comes to talk to me at work my thoughts run OMG!!! What have I done wrong?!

And they have never once come to tell me I did something wrong, it's either something operational as in can I do this thing now, or actually PRAISE. My managers aren't scary people. I'm a diligent and careful employee. I'm also middle-aged and shouldn't be twitching like a naughty schoolgirl because someone in authority wants to talk to me. But I do.:o

It is sometimes called the imposter syndrome - spending your entire life waiting for people to find out what a useless twerp you actually are.

I have spent ten years or so (when not apologising to the person who provided therapy for some years) learning not to brush off praise. Tell me I have done something well and I look completely blank; after all I have just done my job. I have now stop rejecting it and pointing out that the speaker is mistaken.

At the most crass, I was attacked some years ago and spent the ensuing months going over scenarios, dreading the court case. In my distorted mind, the prosecution lawyer would know every small thing I did wrong as a child and adult and would shred me publicly. Eventually I worked out what was behind all this (because I did not speak up about things that someone else did and somehow learned that I was equally guilty). I had been waiting nearly all my life for the police to convict me of someone else's crimes basically. Once I worked that out, I was able to move on and to deal with the situation reasonably well.

But the imposter syndrome feeds on our belief that we have to do things perfectly and nothing else is acceptable.

RAS

VJsmum wrote: »

Mine too! DO people clean under them routinely? Why? I might vaguely poke under them with a mop now and then - otherwise, who cares? I struggle with housework because it is BORING! Sooooo boring - boring boring boring. Did I tell you I find it boring!

There is a lovely story about my great grand mother who was a very house proud Victorian woman who had married a hardworker and was no shirker herself.

She went to vist her DIL, and as was her wont just knocked and walked in. DIL was sitting on the floor pushing the U-bank under the furniture rather than moving the furniture and cleaning "properly". DIL did not have a mother to teacher her how to clean properly.

Well said great GM reporting this," I supposed it gives a different meaning to the phrase "bottoming it?"

whitewing

I had a similarly neglectful mother. I don't even know what a U-bank is.

I went to give blood this afternoon and came home with my 25th donation award. So that was an unexpected pleasure. It's good to mark the occasion.

While I was there, DH did some dropping off of stuff. Old fifa games went to be traded in so that is £8.50 to go towards some new game they want later in the year. The other stuff that finally went is all stuff that I have told you all about before that never quite made it out.

My new shoes are breaking in well. I can't believe I left it so long to replace my old ones. The sole of the old ones were cracked in front of the heel and more than once I mis-stepped and fell over. Now I understand more what DH says about having certain minimum standards.

katep23

It is sometimes called the imposter syndrome - spending your entire life waiting for people to find out what a useless twerp you actually are.

Oh I so identify with this - my mother in law bought me a birthday card with a picture of a yound girl wearing her mother's shoes, hat, jewellery etc and I just looked at it and thought "that's me".

I spent years in a job I hated because I thought if I went to work somewhere else they would "suss me out" - having changed jobs only a few weeks ago I am starting to get positive comments from new bosses and colleagues so I must be doing something right!

elona

GQ

Have you read or re read 1984 recently?

There is a bit about max living space allowed for proles and how landlords build bigger ceilings than floors and measure by ceiling space.

Ironic and quite scary how authors - especially SF ones have forecast certain things quite accurately. There was one who suggested the idea of stomach stapling instead of a nose job for a 21st present (that was written in the 60s).:eek:

Best moment for make do ages ago was when a dd needed an angel costume for school. I dragged out an old cotton flat sheet - draped around a sobbing dd who did not want to wear a yellowing sheet- cut a hole for her head and arms- bleached it to heck - washed it several times - sewed it up - added gold belt made from ribbon and sequined ribbon and pearls round neckline and sleeves.

Teacher asked where I had bought it! (DD liked it too eventually).

VJsmum

Everyone is waiting to be found out - EVERYONE!!

And if someone isn't then they are probably too cocky for their own good. Surely a definition of intelligence must be acknowledging that you don't know, Einstein said that "I have no particular talent I am merely inquisitive". I am confident in my abilities at work but know that I might walk into a classroom and there will be someone who knows more than me about the subject. Fine - I ask them to share it. But if my boss wants to talk to me - then I quake!

alec_eiffel

VJsmum wrote: »

Everyone is waiting to be found out - EVERYONE!!

And if someone isn't then they are probably too cocky for their own good. Surely a definition of intelligence must be acknowledging that you don't know, Einstein said that "I have no particular talent I am merely inquisitive". I am confident in my abilities at work but know that I might walk into a classroom and there will be someone who knows more than me about the subject. Fine - I ask them to share it. But if my boss wants to talk to me - then I quake!

I think only a confused or arrogant person thinks they know everything but I don't think that automatically think that means that everyone else is waiting to be found out. There must be something to do with being comfortable in who you are when you can both know you don't know things and have the confidence to not hide the fact or be intimidated by other folk.

Also a U-bank is (I think) a Ewbank cleaner which is one of those push along floor sweeping things.

D&DD

Morning all I was sat on my bot yesterday lol had enough for one week but starting up again today with renewed vigour..I'll need it as I'm doing DS3's room :eek: I may be trapped under an avalanche of lego so if I don't return someone send biccies and coffee

Running out of room in the bins but all are due to be emptied monday 2x recycle and 1 household so that'll help.

Bag of books going to the senco at school today erm thats about it so far..the space in the cupboard at the top of the stairs is haunting me though..shall I fill it with my fabric,kids toys or food :rotfl:decisions,decisions..
Have a great day all XXX

GreyQueen

blossomhill wrote: »

I have that fear in gardens - I go cold at the intro (probably an old one by now) to Neighbours, where I see the subtropical gardens, as I think "what if I lived somewhere where gardens didn't die down in Winter" - I love the need to do seasonal tasks, love "putting the garden to bed" and seeing it wake up each year
Quote in a book I liked said "father was in the garden stripping it down to its bare geometry"

I love this. Even the ritual of fetching the cotton sunhat down from the lottie shed to be laundered and put away until next year, and the reverse version in late spring of the woolie lottie hat coming back into storage. I just love the seasons.:rotfl:

elona wrote: »

GQ

Have you read or re read 1984 recently?

There is a bit about max living space allowed for proles and how landlords build bigger ceilings than floors and measure by ceiling space.

Ironic and quite scary how authors - especially SF ones have forecast certain things quite accurately. There was one who suggested the idea of stomach stapling instead of a nose job for a 21st present (that was written in the 60s).:eek:

Best moment for make do ages ago was when a dd needed an angel costume for school. I dragged out an old cotton flat sheet - draped around a sobbing dd who did not want to wear a yellowing sheet- cut a hole for her head and arms- bleached it to heck - washed it several times - sewed it up - added gold belt made from ribbon and sequined ribbon and pearls round neckline and sleeves.

Teacher asked where I had bought it! (DD liked it too eventually).

Jeepers, hun, I just about fell off my chair just now. 1984 is what my book group are reading next; I have a copy sitting on the shelf 4 feet away.

valk_scot

Anyone else getting fed up with the dericharding? I feel like I am digging away at a mountain using only a teaspoon. I can see and feel the spaces loosening up as were, there's plenty of cupboards and drawers with some actual spare space in them now, or at least they don't explode out when you open the door! But there's still far too much here and it's so time consuming to deal with some of it. I'm shutting my eyes a lot of the time and just lobbing things straight in the bin or CS box while ignoring the mental cry of "..but if you sorted that properly you could sell it/give it away/make it into something else" but there is about 20% of the junk that seems to need 80% of the work. Yes, I could just put the current pile of Lego into a CS. Or I could sort it out properly and get about £500 for it on Ebay. I could use £500, couldn't we all! But it's still a fair bit of work, sigh, and I'm getting a bit fed up with it.

I've got a grotty cold as well of course and my sinuses are all blocked up and giving me a pounding headache. I am officially feeling sorry for myself, lol.