Hoarding...not just on TV

lostinrates

Elona....best wishes for dd this morning. Its good she feels well, even if frustrating for her to pace her self and be constrained.


No progress here. I got a bit stroppy about that but recognise much of the delay is because i keep getting ill which is draining fopr everyone else. Had a paddy yesterday which sent parent an dh scuttling off to move one of the items of furniture we need moved to woodworm spray and then paint. I am going to try and get them to move another today and first coat spray them. I feel redundant and cross i cannot do more myself.

Parent has an op this week and so will be enforced rest for them for a few days or a couple of weeks. Going to try and get something simple like shepards pie in the fridge predone so that i can return the care role i have received this summer.

Gingernutty

I pulled out the contents of the cupboard under the stairs and separated the stuff I don't want, from the stuff which is no use in there and the stuff which needs to go back in there a bit more tidily.

A load of dead batteries, two trellis style wooden ornament holders (each just capable of holding one thing each), a glass light fitting unsuitable for the bathroom I bought it for and a battery powered light fitting bought for the dark recesses of a wardrobe and never used.

I feel guilty about the trellis shelves. They were given to me from an old family friend and the stains from the holy water container which she used to keep by her front door are still visible.

Still. I have no use for them, I've thoroughly cleaned them and they're ready to go, with the bathroom light, to the only charity shop in Wolves open on a Sunday.

The paint and sanding items were cleared out and went to the middle bedroom which needs the work doing and, after a thorough sweep out, the remainder of the stuff went back into the cupboard.

I know what's where in there and I can get to it easily. Result.

whitewing

DD is clean and fluffy after her bath. Most of yesterday's washing is put away. Have a few pieces left to dry off and pack away.

I am going to get the house tidy for when DH gets home from work so he can just flump. He has a busy week this week.

Therefore the only decluttering I shall do is to get stuff ready to put in the boot of the car for when he comes back so he can drop it off at the recycling centre tomorrow. (Oh and I may do the scanning that never got done yesterday).

I should also have time to watch Seven Years in Tibet on BBC 2 at 12.35pm, if anyone would care to join me. I will probably have a glass of rose as it is a wet Sunday afternoon.

katep23

Well done Gingernutty, sound like you cupboard is well organised if you can find things!

Ugh, what a miserable day. Have just laid a fire to warm up!

Been to the recycling centre and got rid of 5 x bags of green waste and 3 plastic tubs which were not designed for outdoor use so were brittle / breaking including contents which were unspecified plants / trees. Aspiration gardening stuff - I have limited time so if I can't eat it from now on I shan't be growing it!

Also did glass recycling, batteries, bulbs which we forget every time we go, an old fly zapper which doesn't work and a mushroom growing kit which we have never got round to using. Not much impact on the house but a big difference in the garden!

Got a pot of soup on the hob, it really is comfort food weather isn't it?

alec_eiffel

Sorry, I can't remember who mentioned it the other day but does anyone find that a large amount of their stuff is made of things that were donated, inherited or otherwise given without asking rather than bought in?

I do find that it's harder to give away things that someone has given to me even though they obviously don't want it or they'd have just kept it! My mum gave me two sewing machines, neither of which worked without me buying bits for them but I didn't want to say no. So I took them to the tip and she's coming to visit next weekend... eeeeeeeek!

eta. Yes, it is comfort food weather. Although I wish I'd started cooking something while I was up and about not now I'm quilting away as I really don't want to venture into the kitchen now where it's not as cosy! Also we are very skint and I am trying to figure out a menu plan for the week, always fun.

charlies-aunt

Half the kitchen cupboards radically tidied - five large boxes of crockery, glassware, ornaments etc ready for the CS and as a bonus . . . . . two large bin bags of clothes as I got side tracked when I went upstairs and have outed a cache of clothing that was expensive when first bought but has been too tight/short to wear for years that I have been [STRIKE]keeping to slim into [/STRIKE] hoarding - it's way out of fashion (1980's Laura Ashley floral teadress - pleated waist pegleg trousers with turn-ups - 90's "power suit" with massive shoulder pads were just a few of my treasures!)

Everything is boxed and bagged and I shall restrain myself from delving in to retrieve anything - if I have rationaled it to my conscience that as I haven't needed it in the last few years, its not likely that I 'll need - or even remember I've got it in the future.

Onwards for this afternoon! There's plenty to go at yet

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Ugh.

Rain.

Rain.

Rain.

Rain.


I have nothing to do. Not hungry. Fingers sore from playing guitar for ages.


It's so much nicer sitting here feeling at a loss for what to do because it's been done, rather than at a loss for where to start, though.

SpikyHedgehog

wannabe_sybil wrote: »

alec eiffel - if you cannot use home grown fruit then it costs more to make jam than to buy it. I did the sums. Actually I think it may be more cost effective to buy the dratted stuff than make it even if you do grow your own - I use the cheapo mixed fruit saver/value/basics for when little bear demands jam sandwiches and I rarely use it any other time.

Didn't get AF order as I decided that there wasn't enough on it to be worth it for me. Working on getting less in.

hugs to all!

I bought a jar of good jam for putting in my birthday cake & finished it up on bread - made me realise/remember how nice good jam is! I only usually get cheap jam for DS2 or the boys' friends, & don't eat it as its not so nice. Probably a good reason for not making it as then I'd eat it all...

GreyQueen wrote: »

Yes, this was something my late Grandma told Mum even back in the 1950s; unless you could get the fruit free, or nearly so, the price of the sugar and the energy made h.m. more expensive.

Of course, you're not comparing like with like, but you can get some very good stuff from country fayres and farmer's markets as a sort of halfway house between shop and homemade.

I love the idea of making jam but the reality is that I eat maybe one pot of jam a year, have a teeny-tiny kitchen and need more accoutrements like I need a good kicking.

But it's a nice OS aspirational thingy, isn't it, being a domestic goddess and jamming away?

I have decided to demote myself from my self-appointed role as Saviour of the Jam Jar. For ages I have been taking them from Mum's and Freecycling them but lately have run out of takers. Perhaps I have flooded the market?:rotfl:Decided a couple of hours ago that a bag of them will go to the recycling bank on my next visit.

(((((((Byatt)))))))))) I'm no headshrinker but just wanted to send you all good wishes. Please share and maybe some of us can help. We're all anonymous friends, you can talk freely here.

A few years ago I had a LBM over a chance remark made at a dinner table. Was on a catered holiday and the amount of food was ridiculous. I had been guilty of the childish "crime" of helping myself to overmuch and was grimly-ploughing through what I had on my plate so as not to be "wasteful".

A wise older pal said Do you see your body as an alternative to a dustbin?

She wasn't being at all unpleasant but it was one of those ker-ching! moments. Did I think I had to eat to bust a gut in order to stop a few ounces of food going into the dustbin? Better by far not to take too much in the first place, but once taken, do I really think this is how I have to treat myself?

I don't know if this concept travels across in respect of a person's home, but do we really think all we deserve is clutter and difficulty, that we will one day be hauled up before a judge and made to account for every carrier bag and jamjar? Every old piece of clothing or knick-knack that long ago slipped from interesting to clutter?

I dunno. Just kite-flying a bit, I guess. Still working through my own relatively-modest issues one bit at time.

Light bulb moment for me when I read that, GQ! I'm the eldest of 4 children & was always encouraged to eat leftovers from the younger siblings' dinners, I guess to avoid my asking for supper later... Only of course, eating just gets to be a habit. I don't need to eat food if it wasn't eaten up by the children!

Byatt wrote: »

Thanks for all your repsonses.

Shortbird and Whitewing, it was quick because it's surgery based, if I'd waited for the MH team it would take much longer. I also process things over time and know on the day I am exhausted and feel overwhelmed but those feelings will pass. I definitely park the thoughts.

It would be awful for the counsellor to visit, although I may let her. I do still have pics on my phone so may show her next time. I forgot today. It's "avoidance" (but not as we know it, Jim...).

Jo-Jo, all very good questions and I could answer them...and perhaps I should...

I don't deserve a nice home because I don't feel I'm a nice person. I know this is totally based on past abuse and therefore my self image is very skewed, but even though I can see that, I can't as yet not feel it. I'm always suprised when someone likes me. I belittle my achievements. I always think I could/should do better.

Why do I feel I have done something so bad that it makes me bad. It's the little, niggly voices, again from past abuse that I will get what I deserve, so life has thrown some carp at me, so I must deserve it. The latest thing with my sister has tipped me over the edge, dredging up the silt on the bottom of my mind and emotions. It's probably good it has because I am now trying to deal with it.

What am I punishing myself for? For not being perfect, not the perfect daughter, the perfect wife, the perfect mother.

Now I *know* all this stuff is irrational, I don't need to be perfect and flawed people (my family, and ex) forming an opinion of me that is pretty low, shouldn't be taken seriously. But the emotions are not catching up with the intellectual side and are so powerful.

I am also very much alone and whilst I'm very independent and insular (?) I don't have anyone to nurture me and that seems to take its toll.

Ok, honest to the nth degree and I feel all :o:o:o...I've not said all this for people to feel sorry for me or to get accolades, but just so it can be seen how hard it is to unscramble the mess and separate the trash from the treasure.

But I am working towards it...

(((Byatt)))

whitewing

I've just eaten a bowl of 'posh' porridge. More aspirational lifestyle comfort eating. It was lovely.

There was a great Tibetan saying in the film:

A friend's good fortune is a blessing.

Recycling ready for the car. Drying packed away. House nearly tidy. I am tired after yesterday's efforts so chilling out (bossing everyone else around) today.

SpikyHedgehog

scaredy_cat wrote: »

i'm like you, i became depressed about 2 yrs ago, peaking during christmas 2010 and over 3 weeks, only went out to get cat food and junk food for me, i didn't put up my tree, didn't get dressed for days, let rubbish and carp accumulate - boxes, the free newspapers, etc....

i live in a studio flat and have never thought of it as a home, it doesn't feel like a home (not helped by the junk, carp and too many books and old clothes!).

i think why i haven't yet got my backside in gear and sorted it is because a) i don't like the place, b) i don't feel a nice place is worthy of me -( bring in the low self esteem) and c.) i've gt used to it and am good and 'ignoring' it! even though i have lots of daydreams of what it could look like once it is sorted, everything in it's place, a lick of paint, and could actually invite friends over for dinner or even (heaven help me) invite a bloke over!! :eek:


it's sort of a never ending cycle - you are depressed which makes you lethargic, no motivation, so things are let go, then you see that and you feel depressed, fed up, so cba to do anything, so things a re let go... etc etc??

p.s. Byatt, are you anywhere close to my location? you don't have to say where.

I know what you mean - I used to rent a house where I was constantly having to phone up about 1 thing or another, including doors falling off hinges. Just totally dispiriting. & then, when we moved here, then DH had most rooms to his taste, & its really only been as I've made each room mine that I've felt any pride in my home. (Mother in law hardly visits now though as I've removed evidence that Errant Husband used to live here :-( Well, its her loss, as now both the boys now mean my mum is they say 'nanny', while MIL is 'nanny first name'.)

Oh, & i live near you!

Sorted out bedding today as I changed our beds to be cosier, & got rid of tatty old sheets. I've been collecting up the summer clothes to pack away in vacuum bags, & will look through them before they go in the bag, & get rid of stuff that only just fit DS2 this summer. DS1.s been growing too, so is getting rid of stuff as he comes across it...

Going to put the tetra packs in my trolley to dump off at Mr S after work tomorrow, but will plan to avoid going in there...