Hoarding...not just on TV

Florenceem

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

The sight of That Woman's bathroom made my flesh creep. I think it's fair to assume that she doesn't/can't bathe with all that carp in the bath?

You really are best out of it, Jojo. She doesn't want your help and she doesn't deserve it either. Once she gets her marching orders from the landlord it's all going to be "Oh! Woe is me!" isn't it? I should change your mobile number now before all the calls start coming.

My Mil's bath was unusable as was her bed - although she insisted that she slept in it. I think she slept on the chaise longue in the lounge. Mil's flat made the ones in the photo - look tidy! :eek: We spent 5 weeks with the help of rubbish removers/cleaners getting the flat habitable. Mil was grateful - but only home 5 days as she then had another broken bone. Decided to stay in care after that! I could have wept! All the walls had been washed - 52 pictures/mirrors in the hall way - taken down dusted/washed and polished for 5 days.

Florenceem

whitewing wrote: »

Maybe it wasn't that she didn't like you, but that her DS was bringing someone new into the family circle, and that was making her uncomfortable as she couldn't provide a family home that would not embarrass her son. She may have felt she was letting him down and it was easier to not acknowledge you that confront her own issues. Part of the denial.

You could be right - Mil had long since stopped having anyone in to the flat. Only a narrow path through the clutter.

calicocat

Well have done the jeans bit:)......have kept 5 pairs that fit ,8 pairs that will if(when) I loose a bit , and one pair that are a bit too big. The ones I have kept are expensive ones in general and to be honest not something I would want to or be able to replace at the moment as my ward is shutting and 18 jobs are going , so do need to temper this at the moment with that situation. Didn't feel too bad to be honest , in fact quite good as managed to fit the ones I am keeping in a drawer instead of a tower next to the wardrobe.........and a spider must have been living there...the cobweb was huge !..yukk !
Also attacked a small pile next to the wash pile , threw out 2 pairs of old linen pants past their best and 3 pairs of 'slob' trousers that I haven't seen or worn for an age. The jeans I have discarded I have pushed through the cat-flap of the girl upstairs as they may well fit her , if I had kept them they would end up back in the bedroom for ages. I haven't even started on linen pants , 'slob' or exercise stuff or combat type !! God knows how many of those I have too. I am on hols week after next and if not down visiting my dad as my step-mum has just died, I think my plan will be to do a drawer at a time and work from there.
I have 16 cushions in my lounge , and 8 in the bedroom , I dread to think how many extra, different coloured, covers I have in the airing cupboard. The more I think about my flat it is in fact like a tardis , every drawer , cupboard , wardrobe , freezer ,bookshelf. It doesn't look untidy because it isn't , I am a very 'tidy' keeper of stuff it would appear , but that is because I am not out of control.
Maybe some would think what I have IS out of control , but most of my friends probably have the amount of clothes I have if not more, or are we all in denile ?
Anyhow , thanks for the replies guys ,and good luck to everyone else de-cluttering.
Onward and outward

whitewing

I have just chucked out about 20 bottles of half-used moisturiser and other bathroom stuff that has been hanging around literally for years.

We now have 3 new bathroom shelves and anything that doesn't fit that space will now go or not be bought.

It means the baby bath will fit in the cupboard rather than on the floor of the bathroom.

I also have enough unused full stuff to make MIL a lovely hamper for her birthday.

I do feel pangs about not having stuff for me, but the pangs only last while it is physically still in the house.

System

about 8 years ago Mom had a series of mini strokes which put her in hospital for weeks. It was decided by the 'powers that be' that she needed to go into a home for the elderly or at least she would need sheltered housing. There was no way she would go into a home for the elderly so i scoured the area to find the most suitable sheltered housing for her and close enough for me to do her housework (as i had been doing previously). However, the one problem was she was living in a huge 2 bedroom flat and all the sheltered housing in the area were really small little flatlets. Fantastic, just for Mum and there was one place where it was close enough for me to walk the 3 days a week to do her housework and give her a bath. I mananged to get a 'day pass' for Mum out of the hospital and took her to see this flat and she said she loved it.

Took her back to hospital, managed to get the place decorated to how i thought she would like it. With hindsight i should have insisted on taking the book of wallcoverings with me but the council said i had to choose there and then.

Anyway, back to Mum. Her furniture was huge, her flat was filled to the brim of everything and there was no way she would fit half of it in her new flat. She had three wardrobes full to the brim. She could only take one and as she was in hospital i had to go through her clothes to see what i'd seen her in, what she looked nice in and what would fit. What surprised me was the one wardrobe it was filled with jumpers, not the same make but the same style, same colours, same size, same neckline and same sleeves.... all plain. I couldnt understand why she had bought so many of the same in the same vivid colours. Hardly any of them had had any use.

I found out where i got my love of bright colours from that day.

Byatt

whitewing wrote: »

I have just chucked out about 20 bottles of half-used moisturiser and other bathroom stuff that has been hanging around literally for years.

We now have 3 new bathroom shelves and anything that doesn't fit that space will now go or not be bought.

It means the baby bath will fit in the cupboard rather than on the floor of the bathroom.

I also have enough unused full stuff to make MIL a lovely hamper for her birthday.

I do feel pangs about not having stuff for me, but the pangs only last while it is physically still in the house.

Your last sentence is true of me too!:cool:

Well done on clearing the bathroom. I'm still in the kitchen, and sorting through plastic conatiners, the stuff you get take aways in and found I had more lids than boxes!!

Calico, well done also :T. I :rotfl: at the image of you stuffing jeans through the cat flap.

Judi, I am of an age that health and underlying conditons puts me at risk of strokes, and reading about your mum makes me even more determined to get things sorted so my DD doesn't have to deal with it.

wannabe_sybil

Jojo - I wonder if you realised what good would come out of this thread? I hope you are being kind to yourself.

Calico/whitewing - isn't it amazing when you could do stuff.

I had been promising myself that I would go through the pile of clothes that little bear has outgrown and get rid. I knew that ebay was not likely as I would just stall, and I was dubious that I would make enough to be worth it, but I knew someone who needed little one's clothes, and a shop that buys old clothes has just opened up locally.

Today I woke up with a rush of energy and I have been putting an iron over a vast quantity of clothing. I took six kilos into the clothes-buying-shop (nearly a shopping trolley full) and made £3.15. I sent another @ 3 kilos to a friend, (which actually cost more than £3.15 to send, but I certainly didn't mind) and in the rush I also managed to parcel up some stuff for my brother that I had been meaning to send since before Christmas.

I think it is really the big deal - it needs to go to somewhere, not just thrown. That seems to be a big key. £3.15 is not a lot for some really lovely things, but I don't have a charity shop convenient, and it meant that the stuff still had purpose. Does anyone else know what I mean.

I feel on such a high now, but have to go and get little bear from school and then out for his piano lesson. I hope I can continue this tonight.

edited to add - byatt - do you think that there is a nursery/playgroup locally that would take the plastic boxes. I had a snack pot for lunch, and I managed to throw out the actually quite sturdy and dinky container, and I was really pleased about that! I also laughed my socks off at pushing jeans through a cat flap, but it is really the way to go - do stuff when you can!!!! I was really admiring at the determination.

thriftwizard

Keep me going, please... Today I have taken another car load of outright rubbish to the tip (and it's a BIG car) sent 4 large bags of fabric, notions & trimmings off to India, F'cycled a whole list of things, some of which have already gone, BUT it doesn't look any different - I think I've plateau'd! DD1 is telling me that it will, that it'll just take a few more items & suddenly the difference will be amazing, but I'm dangerously close to losing heart here... Half of me wants to call the house clearance people & the other half wants to run away to sea!

Byatt

thriftwizard wrote: »

Keep me going, please... Today I have taken another car load of outright rubbish to the tip (and it's a BIG car) sent 4 large bags of fabric, notions & trimmings off to India, F'cycled a whole list of things, some of which have already gone, BUT it doesn't look any different - I think I've plateau'd! DD1 is telling me that it will, that it'll just take a few more items & suddenly the difference will be amazing, but I'm dangerously close to losing heart here... Half of me wants to call the house clearance people & the other half wants to run away to sea!

Thrift, platueaing (is that a word?) is normal...and a lovely friend said to me, it must look different, was I just focussing on what was left to be done...and it's true, I look at the piles of stuff not at the whole picture, and whilst it's still undtidy, I am seeing progress. I've also stopped and started over the last 6 months until this thread, and even though I have off days/CBA days, I intend to do 10-15 mins, which will make a difference.

Today, just do 5 mins, the same tomorrow. Sometimes when you start you do more, sometimes just 5 mins...It will take time, but the key is not to feel despondent by that. The key is to think in 2 weeks time how would I feel if I just stopped it, in 2 weeks time I could have sorted through those books or cleaned the sinks of washing up...

Keep posting!! :T:T

Sybil, that's a good idea, I will look into it. Yes, I also admired Calico's determination; it's also something I would do!

calicocat

thriftwizard wrote: »

Keep me going, please... Today I have taken another car load of outright rubbish to the tip (and it's a BIG car) sent 4 large bags of fabric, notions & trimmings off to India, F'cycled a whole list of things, some of which have already gone, BUT it doesn't look any different - I think I've plateau'd! DD1 is telling me that it will, that it'll just take a few more items & suddenly the difference will be amazing, but I'm dangerously close to losing heart here... Half of me wants to call the house clearance people & the other half wants to run away to sea!

Don't run ! To be honest it sounds like you have done an brilliant job today......and there was me feeling smug at throwing a few jeans next door. I haven't managed to read all posts but if you have taken a whole carfull to the tip it sounds like you have the bug bad (if you don't mind me saying and meant in the nicest way).
My friends house is a mess , pretty much like the photos if not worse in some places , she won't let anyone but immediate family (when she has to as they live there) in the house , and me. She is starting to attack it but it is very hard for her , she regularly phones in tears. This thread has highlighted this to me , and my own tendancies. Please keep going as it sounds like you are making good progress , and focusing what IS to do instead of what you have done is very easy to do but not good to yourself.
It will look different you know , you just can't see it yet because it's not 'perfect' , or ' how you want it' yet.

Good luck , onward and outward;)