Joint finances - question Re: more-one-sided big purchases

engagedlady

My husband and I have a joint account to which our wages are paid and then all bills come out of. We also seperate regular off into a 'large bills' account, a 'xmas/birthdays' account and our 'house deposit' account.

We also have our own accounts into which we pay ourselves an agreed allowance. Currently £150 per month, this is ours to spend as we like and is enough to cover any personal purchases and also trips away. I.e Husband is going to the races this weekend, this has been paid for by him saving his allowance for a couple of months.

I think if you're getting married then it makes sense to pool finances and work on the finer points of money management together. Like you say yo're in this together.

LittleMoog

We have a joint account and individual accounts. We each get paid into our own accounts, and then transfer the majority of the money into our joint account, leaving the same amount each as personal spending money. This works pretty well for us, and what's in the joint account is for bills, household costs and debt payments. If we need to buy something large, we discuss it and budget from the joint account.

fannyanna

I'm being lazy and posting a response without having read all of your other replies so apologies if I'm repeating what's already been said.....

My Husband and I have joint finances although we still have our own current accounts that our salaries get paid into. We then transfer all our money into the joint account but each leave a small amount in our accounts that we are free to spend how we want.

Perhaps you could consider doing something similar. You can then save a bit of "your money" each month to go towards your speakers.

FBaby

To start with, it all depends on how much you currently earn and how much you will be earning in the future (with children). £600 might be expensive, but not a totally sacrifying amount to you, or it might be having to give up on other things that mean a lot to your wife for some time. This makes the decision totally different. It also very much depends on the reason for wishing to spend that amount of money on speakers. If you write music in your spare time, it would be more understanding if it is just an inpulse buy just to impress the lads!!

My partner and I will be getting married next year. We earn the same salary, but I have a lot more outgoings then he does (he has company car, I have children!). We have added everything we pay each month, and then agreed what I transfer to him so in the end, we get a similar disposable income. However, his annual bonus is his to do as he wishes as is the maintenance I receive from the kids (when I do, which been more a case of not!). After we are married, I expect we will have a joint account, but the basis will be the same, ie. left with our own disposable income on a 50/50 basis.

Anything we would want to spend money on that could affect the overall budget, I would expect to discuss together. My partner would like to go skiing with the lads next winter and buy a new mountain bike...but we also have the wedding, so something will have to give as it would be fair that my savings only pays for it. However, it is important for us to keep some freedom of what we do with our money. We both worked hard for our financial independence and we would both find it strange to have to ask or discuss anything under £500. That's in relation to our budget though, it could more or less depending on household income.

maman

My DH and I have been together for 30+ years and I hate the idea of only having a joint account. I like the independence of having my own plus why should my DH pay half of my £93 hairdo when his only costs a tenner!:rotfl:

We have three 'current' accounts between us: a joint and a personal one each. The 'joint' one is actually in my name but used for household stuff (that could be joint but DH is happy for me to run it so that's what we do).

Money goes into own accounts then we pay an equivalent amount of regular bills on DD from there. DH prefers this as banks seem to like 'active' accounts. We pay for household bills (food, car costs, insurance, items for the home, gifts for family etc) on credit cards and each month settle up so each pays half the bills. Personal spending on the cards we pay ourselves. What's left in our personal accounts is ours to spend/save as we wish or agree to stump up equally for some shared spending that's not on the credit card (euros for a recent holiday was an example).

I think OP's question was based on what to do when his partner's income drops in the future. I think probably paying everything into a joint account and then an equal personal allowance into personal accounts is the way to go.

Incidentally, we also recently set up a 'petty cash box'. In recent years I've had far more time to follow mse and find myself doing small bits of shopping in markets and the like where it isn't appropriate to use a card. We just start it off with £50 cash each and top up when it gets a bit low.

Any of the solutions suggested will only work if both parties are sensible with money. It wouldn't work if either was overspending on any of the accounts and running up debts. It does concern me a little that OP and his partner have run up debts previously but hopefully the LBM has happened.

HTH.

kj*daisy

We had separate finances and paid half of everything, till I had a baby and my income dropped. Then we went for joint account which pays all the bills and an allowance of 150 each per month. Any left in the joint account I filter into savings for big/one offs/emergency spends. Any big things like fancy cameras in my DHs case have usually come out of any bonuses he'd had. I haven't had any big spends like that and things I have wanted I've paid for from allowance saved up or birthday money etc. Why don't you have some spending money each which you can save some of for expensive speakers (once you've paid debts).

claire16c

rpc wrote: »

If it's shared money, it's shared money.

If you want, and can reasonably afford, the speakers then you should both be able to agree to buy them. Likewise when she wants something.

Trust and communication are essential - I don't track my wife's shoes or clinique, she doesn't sweat about computer games and gadgets. Big purchases are discussed beforehand, but if you throw your money together jointly you have to trust each other to manage it.

There are some purchases I want to make, but am delaying because it would eat into our contingency money. There are other purchases that I want to make, but won't for the same reason, that she says I should buy myself. Oddly, she is trying to get me to buy something I want and I am resisting - but we each understand the other point of view so there are no problems.

I agree.

Im married and we have a joint account that our salaries go into and all bils go out of. I can not imagine working out who were to pay what each month, and dividing up bills, and savings, like I was living with a housemate, with my DH. Who has the time to do that anyway? If I wanted to suprise DH Id take out cash, or put it on a credit card that didnt need to be paid until after the event.

With big purchases, as long as you discuss them, and make sure you treat each other equally it shouldnt be a problem - and its funny you say your future wife acts as your stupidity filter because thats how me and DH are with each other too when one of us perhaps wants something that is really not necessary :rotfl:So it all comes down to if shes happy for you to buy the speakers or not. If shes not - then you need to consider the reasons why, and she needs to consider your reasons for wanting to buy them too. And Im sure one day she will want something of a similar cost that perhaps you dont use, and it all evens out in the end.

Newly_retired

We have separate finances. We have worked out that over a year, we each pay roughly the same amount towards household expenditure.
He pays for all the utilities, insurances etc, I buy the food and usually pay for holidays and major purchases. We each run our own cars.
We no longer have a mortgage but we each paid half.
Sometimes we stop and recalculate when there has been a run of expenditure, but it normally works.
That means we can do what we like with what's left over.

I save, DH spends!

I wouldn't dream of buying anything major without discussing it with him, whereas he is always buying gadgets.

So I'm the one with a big bank balance when it comes to paying for holidays or a new car. He buys his cars with a personal loan.

I'm very tight -fisted with money - probably because I never had any till I was about 45 ( back to work f/t once kids grown).

So it's up to you to see what works best for you.