How to split Rent costs with Partner

euronorris

However, that said, your partner's financial irresponsibility is the bigger concern here. Not how you split the finances.

I would be asking her/him to stick to a budget for the next few months, and prove that they did stick to it, before moving in together. Personally, and I know others will disagree on me, I think that is only fair and is reasonable to ask.

coinxoperated

Personally, for me and my partner it makes sense to lump all our money as 'ours' rather than individually as we are on such tight wages.

I would suggest opening up a joint account, both paying equal amounts into it to cover the bills. It isn't their fault that your less successful or as paid as them. How would you feel paying for your other half?

Surely all money should become 'joint' spare cash, therefore you would discuss large expenditures anyway?

DylanO

euronorris wrote: »

!!!!!!?!

Do people honestly think that the house cleans and tidies itself, and that babies and children rear themselves? It's a job! It's not sitting on your backside all day watching telly (although I know that some do, not all do!).

Just to be clear - it's fine to take pot shots at women who choose to work (and their partners), but not OK to aim one back at SAHMs? Is that right? Because your problem with one and silence on the other, is giving that impression.

This is not the 1950s when housework was a real chore. There's no beating washing to get it clean, nor is there any sweeping and scrubbing floors, or having to use a mangle. There are all kinds of labour-saving inventions that make running a house a doddle for anyone.

My parents managed to work full-time and split the housework and child-rearing equally, and given how successful their children are - it's worked pretty well.

DebtFreein5Months

coinxoperated wrote: »

Personally, for me and my partner it makes sense to lump all our money as 'ours' rather than individually as we are on such tight wages.

I would suggest opening up a joint account, both paying equal amounts into it to cover the bills. It isn't their fault that your less successful or as paid as them. How would you feel paying for your other half?

Surely all money should become 'joint' spare cash, therefore you would discuss large expenditures anyway?

I wouldn't want a join account as person 1's credit rating is '!!!!!!' and person 2 has worked hard to get theirs to 'good'. And as Join account means joint credit ratings - noooooo.

I think paying for the other person would cause resentment on both sides when both people are so independently minded. :-/

DebtFreein5Months

euronorris wrote: »

However, that said, your partner's financial irresponsibility is the bigger concern here. Not how you split the finances.

I would be asking her/him to stick to a budget for the next few months, and prove that they did stick to it, before moving in together. Personally, and I know others will disagree on me, I think that is only fair and is reasonable to ask.

Good idea. And if I get the "but if you loved me you wouldn't mind paying for me" I will shoot the person and leave. (kidding about half of that)

euronorris

DylanO wrote: »

Just to be clear - it's fine to take pot shots at women who choose to work (and their partners), but not OK to aim one back at SAHMs? Is that right? Because your problem with one and silence on the other, is giving that impression.

Sorry, where was there a pot shot at working women? I must have missed it. I certainly don't feel any bias either way.

This is not the 1950s when housework was a real chore. There's no beating washing to get it clean, nor is there any sweeping and scrubbing floors, or having to use a mangle. There are all kinds of labour-saving inventions that make running a house a doddle for anyone.

My parents managed to work full-time and split the housework and child-rearing equally, and given how successful their children are - it's worked pretty well.

And that's fine. But there is also nothing wrong with those families who decide to have one parent stay at home, rather than use childcare. And in those instances, I feel, it is only fair for the SAHP to do ALL of the housework (where possible - certain tasks may require 2 people - I'm talking about more DIY/house maintenance stuff here) and the majority of childcare (I say majority because you don't want to exclude the other parent entirely).

ETA: Oh yes, I see the comment now. That was unfair also. That was uncalled for, and I standby my comments above that having both parents work, and splitting responsibilities 50/50 is great too. So long as that is what the family wants, and things are equal, great!

euronorris

DebtFreein5Months wrote: »

Good idea. And if I get the "but if you loved me you wouldn't mind paying for me" I will shoot the person and leave. (kidding about half of that)

Then you turn it around and say 'And if you loved me, you'd understand why I'm asking for this and be happy to do it. I'm thinking of OUR financial future here. For that to be secure, you need to change your financial habits.'.

VestanPance

There is no correct method and as can be seen here various ways people do it will leave others in utter shock and horror.

When I was coupled up in the dark and distant past we pulled all our money in to one joint account. An amount of that was transferred to another joint account that covered all bills, including food, travel, utilities and car related costs.

From what was left over an agreed amount was split evenly and transferred to our own accounts that we could spend as we wished. Anything large to be saved for such as a holiday or home maintenance was put aside in the joint account.

During that time I had been both the higher and lower earner, but viewed any income as our money. I personally would never have been comfortable with the mines and yours systems some use.

Marisco

Why doesn't the higher earner put £1400 away in savings (or something) and just bring £1100 to the "table"? That way you are both coming at it with the same amount of money, you can then split everything 50/50 and you'll both have the same amount left. If anything "extra" is needed, then the low earner will have to save for it, whilst the high earner will have it already in savings iyswim.

DylanO

euronorris wrote: »

And that's fine. But there is also nothing wrong with those families who decide to have one parent stay at home, rather than use childcare. And in those instances, I feel, it is only fair for the SAHP to do ALL of the housework (where possible - certain tasks may require 2 people - I'm talking about more DIY/house maintenance stuff here) and the majority of childcare (I say majority because you don't want to exclude the other parent entirely).

It was the post I quoted - hence my 'I can match you barb for barb.;)' comment.

I completely agree with you in regards to their being nothing wrong with either option (as long as they can afford it of course). In fact I agree with all of your post.

I've noticed that there's a lot of criticism heaped upon working mothers on MSE, mainly by SAHM themselves for whatever reason. There also seems to be the prevailing idea that the working partner should go out to work, take 100% of the financial responsibility and yet still take 50% of the household responsibility to give the SAHM 'a break' from her incredibly stressful day. I can't roll my eyes enough at that notion.