Should I pay for this? What's fair?

cloverfan

I am going away for a few days and my ex is having some of our children the others are going to friends and my mum. My ex is expecting me to give him fuel money for taking them to school and back and also for food. He never gives me any money towards the children. He doesn't work but always has money to buy himself things like speakers, boot spoilers etc.... I don't kno what to do? Any opinions gratefully received

TheConways

Erm, they are his children as much as yours? Laugh in his face, tell him to man up and get his priorities straight.

jackomdj

Tell him to pay himself! I would be livid, why should you pay when they are his and Why has he only got some of his children?

Hiddenidenity

No you shouldn't have to.

Although in my case I use to send my lids with food/give him money just because then i had peace of mind they'd be fed well etc.

No one can really tell you what's fair that's for you to decide if you choose to give him anything x

cloverfan

jackomdj wrote: »

Tell him to pay himself! I would be livid, why should you pay when they are his and Why has he only got some of his children?

He only has some of them ( aged 4 6 and 13) as the others ( aged 11 15 and 17) refuse to have anything to do with him due to his behaviour in the past. They can't forgive or forget whereas the others at the moment are thinking that he's changed. I'm worried the kids will suffer if I don't but I think he will spend it on himself. He says as I have the ctc it's the kids money so he should get it while he's got them?

Molly41

I would probably go shopping or organise an on-line shop to be delivered. As for petrol offer to go with him and fill up the car!

Desperado99

cloverfan wrote: »

I am going away for a few days and my ex is having some of our children the others are going to friends and my mum. My ex is expecting me to give him fuel money for taking them to school and back and also for food. He never gives me any money towards the children. He doesn't work but always has money to buy himself things like speakers, boot spoilers etc.... I don't kno what to do? Any opinions gratefully received

Obviously, you shouldn't have to give him anything - BUT

Is he likely to refuse to take them if you don't give him the money?

cloverfan

Molly41 wrote: »

I would probably go shopping or organise an on-line shop to be delivered. As for petrol offer to go with him and fill up the car!

This was my first thought but I am not convinced if I put fuel in car that it would b used to take them to school.

cloverfan

Desperado99 wrote: »

Obviously, you shouldn't have to give him anything - BUT

Is he likely to refuse to take them if you don't give him the money?

This is exactly what I'm afraid of x

mazza111

I'm afraid some x's are like this. Mine is. Gave up his job due to mh problems (ahem) so he didn't need to pay for his kids. When I was going away, he asked for money for food, via my DS, telling him, after all I pay your mum money to keep you guys in food etc. So I sent round a box of cereal (on that i know my x doesn't like ) and enough ready meals and sandwich stuff , soya milk etc. Poor diet is ok for a few days!!

It was the asking the DS that really annoyed me, making him look big, son was dismayed that his poor father was paying me weekly, I had to show him how much. Now this could all have been avoided if he had just asked me for some food for the lad instead of bigging himself up.

tori.k

I know it's different as it not a EX but my mother but when DH & I go away against her wishes i always send over there CB to go towards feeding them, he has the 3 younger kids so that would be £5.74 a day by my reckoning I'd send that in food that the kids will eat with the receipt as for getting them to school i would only give over petrol money if it was necessary if it's walkable distance then it's his choice to use the car