Whats the next step please?

Toothfairy4

As BitterandTwisted said, he seemed more concerned with stopping his wife getting any more than half his house rather than trying to support her and their child. I wonder if she is aware that he felt like this when they were trying for a baby, he mentioned it is very amicable, i'm afraid if my husband told me he had made a baby to 'make things better' he would be lucky to be in posession of his baby making equipment!!

MissKeith

Betty_Crumble wrote: »

I'm sure his apparant haste at wanting it all sorted asap is just down to him being a man and im not being sarky, men ARE different and dont show emotions like us women do.

I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that having a penis excused you of human decency.

Betty_Crumble

MissKeith wrote: »

I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that having a penis excused you of human decency.

no it doesnt but i was reading a thread on here earlier where someone was having a rant at a 'relative', a male anyway, because he'd forgotton something and while I am not trying to liken this situation to something trivial it did seem that all the answers in that thread excused the behaviour because the person 'in the wrong' had a penis.
To be honest I could go down the path of many here but whats the point, how does that help? The guy needs advice about what to do not labelling for whats already done, like I said anyway I'm not fighting his corner I am just trying to be neutral and if I had any expertise in the area he needed advice in I would give it, it is not my place to judge on a personal level.

j.e.j.

Well, as far as his question about getting a divorce goes, I think a few posters did answer that for him, and provide links.

I suppose to be fair we don't know the full story, do we. I think he unwisely stuck his head in the sand, thinking things would get better between him and his wife or his feelings would change. And even more unwisely, he got his wife pregnant, and only now, it seems, has he made the decision he wants out. He left 3 weeks ago. She's now 20 weeks gone.

FBaby

I haven't read the op but maybe the wife isn't so gutted. Maybe she liked the idea of a wedding and then becoming a mum but is now actually pleased to get shot of the hubby?

January20

Betty_Crumble wrote: »

no it doesnt but i was reading a thread on here earlier where someone was having a rant at a 'relative', a male anyway, because he'd forgotton something and while I am not trying to liken this situation to something trivial it did seem that all the answers in that thread excused the behaviour because the person 'in the wrong' had a penis.

And that's why so many men don't grow up, don't seem to care and seem to get away with murder: because so many people - women especially - make excuses for them. I think it starts from the mothers and carries on with partners. People will treat you the way you allow them to and will give you what you expect of them, so if you expect men to be sh1ts and let them get away with it, they will.

I'm sorry if you have the equipment (male or female) to make a baby, then you have to take the responsibility. You can't just decide the situation doesn't suit you anymore and wash your hands off it! Of course, if you're male it's always easier, isn't it?

I hope the OP's wife finds a decent man who will take care of her and her baby.

ETA: oh nearly forgot: OP, I think you are a coward for deleting your posts.

marisco_2

nearlyrich wrote: »

Been on the other side of this and watched 2 close friends go through it also, not the best thing to happen whilst pregnant but in my opinion (with hindsight) better to find out he is a waste of space as a partner and a father and move on to show him how little he is needed.

The child will need him and has a right to a relationship with him. Depsite everything that has and will go on between the OP and his wife, I hope that for the childs sake it wont become a pawn in this awful situation. That would mess up the childhood and future of a person completely innocent in all of this.

Dunroamin

Betty_Crumble wrote: »

Guys i'm not taking sides but EVERYONE, male or female, has the right to walk away from something they are not happy about. .

If by "not being happy" you mean leaving an abusive relationship or a situation where you've spent a good few years working on the relationship then I would agree.

If you mean walking away from a marriage and a pregnant wife just because the situation no longer suits you perfectly, then I disagree. Sometimes the happiness of others and your personal responsibility has to come first.

Ellejmorgan

This bloke is like my ex a scumbag..no wonder he deleted his posts...

Mrs.W_2

Last year, the OP encouraged his wife to take care of her joint debt by going into bankruptcy. This year he's leaving her alone and carrying his child.

Gosh, what a shining future she had with him lucky escape.