Advice regarding dementia, theft and POA

RuthnJasper

Ah well, never mind! Although my mum claims to be utterly useless with these things, but learned how to use a CD Walkman surprisingly quickly when she was in hospital with the Big C... Although even I have admitted defeat when it comes to trying to help her use her mobile 'phone...!

Your Nan is very lucky to have someone like you to fight her corner, Carolan78 - I really do hope that all turns out for the best. xx

P.S. I didn't mean that your Nan's benefits were not legit; I meant that they had been paid by the state for her - well - benefit, and someone has knowingly deprived her of them.

grey_lady

Your Nan isnt actually a prisoner though right? assuming she's not under a section then I dont see how they can stop her leaving or even going outside for some fresh air.

Have you complained to the ward manager and also spoke to the team at your local council that deal with the vulnerable elderly.

Torry_Quine

grey_lady wrote: »

Your Nan isnt actually a prisoner though right? assuming she's not under a section then I dont see how they can stop her leaving or even going outside for some fresh air.

Have you complained to the ward manager and also spoke to the team at your local council that deal with the vulnerable elderly.

As she is blind with dementia I don't think allowing her out on her own would be a good idea. The staff won't be able to take her out and the family aren't allowed in to collect her.

carolan78

Torry has hit the nail on the head and when they did let me in Tuesday evening I didn't push the taking her downstairs they just said she couldn't go. I really don't think it would have done the situation much good if I had ignored them and took her off the ward.

carolan78

We finally managed to see the social worker today which has been a huge help. We explained all our concerns to her regarding the situation she is in on the ward and the lack of information from the nurses/Dr's. She told us she has faced the same problems because my Nan does not have just one consultant, she has one for medical ailments and one for mental.

She has managed to find out for us that they are hoping to discharge her to a nursing home next week. It is just a case of the psychologist reassessing her now the confusion has reduced because they now feel this is as good as it is going to get.

The NHS Continuity care assessment has been done once already but will now need doing again due to the slight improvement with her confusion but she scored very high on the first one and can not see it changing much at all. She is very positive we won't have a huge fight on our hands to get it put in place.

The ward is still closed but the night shift seem to let you on the ward at your own risk (the day shift don't) so we're all taking it in turns this week so there isn't too many visiting at once under the circumstances. None of this is ideal but now there is an end in sight and we know it is one more week at the most.

We have already viewed a few nursing homes and we have found one that just feels right for her. As soon as we phoned them we felt positive about the place it was the only one that said we could drop in any time without an appointment. It also has a very transparent website explaining all the facilities it can offer especially for dementia patients. They even allow relatives to join the resident for meals if they visit at meal times so they must be confidant their food is nice lol.

So for now my Nan's future is looking up and although I know we will never ever get her back fully we can ensure she is safe and well cared for and listen to her tales of Ireland, her adventure when she moved to England and the millions of other memories stored in her mind.

Thank you to everyone that has read and contributed to this thread, just writing it all down has helped but you have also provided with solid advice so I have been able to speak to people and know what I am talking about especially with the Continuing care. If it all goes pare shaped I'll update this thread again if not I will just post a quick update when she is discharge and settled in her new home. hopefully if someone else finds themselves in this situation they'll find this thread and the brilliant information posted.

blossomhill_2

OP I agree that the health issues may diminish when getting peoper care - I'd even wodner if the "dementia" is diabetes asnd dehydration-related
Part of the effect of dehydration is not wanting to drink and it causing nausea, so you may need to insist she drinks while you are there, to break this cycle

Sore Lips - There is a product in a tube that gives artifical saliva that helps - was given to my Mum but wish I'd know it was available when my Dad was in, his sore lips were a sight and must have hurt him - it is more effective than lipsyl etc
HTH

carolan78

The soar lips have improved tenfold with the lipsil. I think quite a bit of the confusion as it is now is caused by a mixture of diabetes/dehydration and her situation but we know there is dementia there to some extent because we were in the process of having her assessed at home for it before she went into hospital.

She had started to do things like forget to put the washing on then drap all the dirty laundry around the house in silly places. Lay flowers she had been given out in rows on worktops and the sofa. Forget to turn the grill of and set fire to the kitchen, somebody was watching her that day because she fell and knocked herself out (so had very little smoke inhalation because she was on the floor). her neighbour heard the smoke alarm and alerted us, the fire brigade and her partner smashed the window to get in. So we know she is no longer safe at home, she doesn't sleep well so we're not confident enough to say if she had more help through the day she would be able to remain at home.

If the lips do become dry again I will ask about this saliva replacement though because even when fully hydrated she never has much.

katejo

carolan78 wrote: »

The soar lips have improved tenfold with the lipsil. I think quite a bit of the confusion as it is now is caused by a mixture of diabetes/dehydration and her situation but we know there is dementia there to some extent because we were in the process of having her assessed at home for it before she went into hospital.

She had started to do things like forget to put the washing on then drap all the dirty laundry around the house in silly places. Lay flowers she had been given out in rows on worktops and the sofa. Forget to turn the grill of and set fire to the kitchen, somebody was watching her that day because she fell and knocked herself out (so had very little smoke inhalation because she was on the floor). her neighbour heard the smoke alarm and alerted us, the fire brigade and her partner smashed the window to get in. So we know she is no longer safe at home, she doesn't sleep well so we're not confident enough to say if she had more help through the day she would be able to remain at home.

If the lips do become dry again I will ask about this saliva replacement though because even when fully hydrated she never has much.

Have you tried contacting organisations such as Age Concern or a Dementia charity? they might be able to give you some recommendations/support or possibly liaise with the hospital for you. They may also be able to advise you re. the financial difficulties

carolan78

Thank you I have been on the phone to Ageuk quite a bit for advice. I am sad to report we are no further forward and assessments that should have been done over 2 weeks ago still have not been done.

The ward was shut for 5 days again due to D&V. When we were able to visit again we arrived to find the tea lady giving my Nan a huge slice of cake, when questioned she admitted she was not aware she is diabetic and its not the first time she has given her cake. This explains why some days her sugar has been off the charts.

We got a call on Monday or Tuesday asking if we had some of my nan's tablet because they had run out and couldn't get more for 3 days. We didn't have any because we took them all in with her and handed them to the hospital and these were what they had used.

So all in all instead of things moving forward we are having more and more issues. On the bright side though my Nan is still confused but isn't as anxious as she was.

NAR

How come no one noticed they had dispensed the last tablet? If it was a commonly dispensed tablet their stocktaking levels need reviewed immediately. This is a ridiculous situation.