Nice people thread part 6 - thrice by twice as nice :)

vivatifosi

PasturesNew wrote: »

All NPs.... if you went to a new town with no contacts and £1 in your pocket.... by which route would you attempt to make your first £1million?

I've been trying so hard to work out how to answer this Pastures. The bit I think I'm falling down on is that I'm not sure I'd approach things the same way as you would in some of it so I hope its relevant.

First I'd try and pick a town that's right for me. That would mean somewhere that I can take out what I need socially, economically and emotionally. Socially I like certain things, so I'd like to the able to do stuff that I'd enjoy so my life isn't all work and no play. Also you tend to meet likeminded people through doing stuff you like. Economically I'd need to move somewhere that had a need for my type of work as well as access to the tools to do it. Emotionally I'd like to know that there's someone I know - not necessarily in the same town - but that I could drive to in an hour or so and meet for a drink if I'm feeling really off.

Then before I moved there, I'd be trying to find out more about the place and opportunities for me. That could be: job agencies, local business networks, libraries, all sorts. I'd also draw up a very quick profile of me with my contact details on. Not a CV, everyone's got one of those, more of a taster. Maybe 3 or 5 punchy bullet points that get across what you can do for them.

Then - and I know its something that wouldn't come naturally to you - I'd look to build up my local contacts and network by meeting people. I'm not sure how easy that is for an Aspie. But I do wonder if it is something that could be do if a) you do it in a structured way that you are in control of, and b) you can explain your situation to someone first who can help you in meetings. For example, in Hertfordshire there are small business organisations STANTA and WENTA - in St Albans and Watford respectively - that help people set up in business. So I'd be having words with them about my prospects - they know the markets locally well, as well as asking for some help in breaking new ground. Business Link used to be the national organisation for that type of work, but they've become quite emasculated, as have the regional enterprise agencies which have more or less disappeared. Personally I've long thought you need a business angel who can act as a mentor and understands Aspergers, but that sounds hollow because I don't know how to get that for you.

Sorry, I'm waffling now. Does that even go someway to answering the question?

lostinrates

zagubov wrote: »

I'd be tempted to cut her some slack. Promotion in education doesn't mean anything remotely like what promotion in other industries/organisations does.

Gimmicky

Not sure about that. The market can't help everywhere as some things are too important for that. If they privatised the emergency services, we'd soon find ouselves tired of looking for all the versions of the 999 number for KutPrice Konstables or AAAAA Ambulance Services or Fred's Fire Brigade or whatever. And let's not imagiine the ex-directory private 999-something number services you'd have to pay subscriptions for to even know the number.

You just have to have a system that just works, and not just for you. It's achievable . Many countries do it, including many in northern europe near us.

Having said this, I'm sure I've contradicted something I said a while back that there could be a massive demand for small schools for students with special needs where the parents could pay if the taxpayer doesn't want to, where the private sector could fill its boots and deliver something more important than whatever-it-is that we make in this country any more.
.

I think the problem is what works for one does not necessarily work for all. Special needs are a great example, but far from the only one. Also, not all value education in the same way.And the hugest one of all, not all results are acheivable for all, or once acheived sustainably acheived in a competitive market place. Eg, i have a very unpopular view about extra time for exams For students with some needs, and that is that there are only so many hours in the working day. While not being able to complete the work in the same time certainly does not make one less intelligent, it does impact on what you can acheive in a run of the mill penpushing job. (whoch is why exam results should only ever be part of the picture and in many ways other skills are what set the truely innovative, inspirational and successful apart. Fwiw, i fully expect this to be a very unpopular opinion , that exam times should be the same for everyone, whether thats timed or untimed. Funnily enough i have never considered the same about computer use.....

LydiaJ

PasturesNew wrote: »

Yes, because if he'd altered his will and left us his money immediately they'd have not got their hands on it .... and the outcome for mum wouldn't differ from what's happened as she had enough of her own to get accepted into where she's gone (you have to prove you can pay 24 months before they let you in, so you're not going to suddenly expect the Govt to pick up the tab). But ... if the old lives more than 5-6 years, it'll start to be dad's money that's spent on it.

So, you guys are probably already set up the way he should have been ... but those 'tricks' weren't part of his knowledge... and "he knew best" all the time, so it was not open for discussion or viewing.

To be honest, the day he died, I don't think he believed he would be dying... he thought he'd get a bit better ... and just be less able for awhile (a few years) and would outlive mum anyway.

Actually, my mum left everything to my dad. Originally, her will left some to us for IHT purposes, but when the IHT rules changed, she changed it to leave everything to him. Their money was 100% all "theirs" in their heads, but since some of it was in her name, some in his, and some in joint accounts, legally some of it was "hers".

PasturesNew wrote: »

I figure, actually, it's cheaper to keep my old in a home, than to have services bought in and paid for. By the time you've added up the cost of running a house (bills), and the lost interest on money in the bank, and the cost of daily carers (2-3x a day?) and the cost of a cleaner and a gardener (once a week each), and the extra cost of food, then the cost of any day centres/clubs (for a few hours' socialisation/week)..... it's surprising how it adds up.

Then the house would need ongoing maintenance, then there's the lifeline service.

And even if you pay all of that, they're left alone most of the day, alone, in silence, alone...... maybe waiting for hours for somebody to discover they're missing or fell.....

Absolutely agree. Paid carers coming in several times a day were great for my mum, because my dad did the 24/7 care, and then the carers just did things like the bed bath and stuff, to take a little of the burden off his shoulders. But for someone living alone? I suppose they might be a good option in some specific cases, but in general someone who's got to the stage of needing that much care is better off not living alone. When Dad went into hospital to have his knees replaced, we didn't buy in extra care for Mum. The first time my brother went and lived with her for several weeks, and the second time she went into a home until Dad was well enough to pick up his caring responsibilities again.

lostinrates

vivatifosi wrote: »

I've been trying so hard to work out how to answer this Pastures. The bit I think I'm falling down on is that I'm not sure I'd approach things the same way as you would in some of it so I hope its relevant.

First I'd try and pick a town that's right for me. That would mean somewhere that I can take out what I need socially, economically and emotionally. Socially I like certain things, so I'd like to the able to do stuff that I'd enjoy so my life isn't all work and no play. Also you tend to meet likeminded people through doing stuff you like. Economically I'd need to move somewhere that had a need for my type of work as well as access to the tools to do it. Emotionally I'd like to know that there's someone I know - not necessarily in the same town - but that I could drive to in an hour or so and meet for a drink if I'm feeling really off.

Then before I moved there, I'd be trying to find out more about the place and opportunities for me. That could be: job agencies, local business networks, libraries, all sorts. I'd also draw up a very quick profile of me with my contact details on. Not a CV, everyone's got one of those, more of a taster. Maybe 3 or 5 punchy bullet points that get across what you can do for them.

Then - and I know its something that wouldn't come naturally to you - I'd look to build up my local contacts and network by meeting people. I'm not sure how easy that is for an Aspie. But I do wonder if it is something that could be do if a) you do it in a structured way that you are in control of, and b) you can explain your situation to someone first who can help you in meetings. For example, in Hertfordshire there are small business organisations STANTA and WENTA - in St Albans and Watford respectively - that help people set up in business. So I'd be having words with them about my prospects - they know the markets locally well, as well as asking for some help in breaking new ground. Business Link used to be the national organisation for that type of work, but they've become quite emasculated, as have the regional enterprise agencies which have more or less disappeared. Personally I've long thought you need a business angel who can act as a mentor and understands Aspergers, but that sounds hollow because I don't know how to get that for you.

Sorry, I'm waffling now. Does that even go someway to answering the question?

I even wonder if there is aspie networking, so people can meet and not feel as if they are going to be jumped on for omitting some sort of nt social interaction. Is there such a thing? Maybe thats a key to making a million from nothing, prepared by someone who really understands aspies....hmm.....

vivatifosi

lostinrates wrote: »

I even wonder if there is aspie networking, so people can meet and not feel as if they are going to be jumped on for omitting some sort of nt social interaction. Is there such a thing? Maybe thats a key to making a million from nothing, prepared by someone who really understands aspies....hmm.....

Funnily enough I did look that up, but didn't post it in case it was something Pastures already knew about. But there's a bloke with an aspie blog who says that there's now networking on twitter and that suits aspies down to the ground as they can get their points across succinctly and don't have the social conventions to deal with. I don't know anything about it beyond that though.

lostinrates

LydiaJ wrote: »

Actually, my mum left everything to my dad. Originally, her will left some to us for IHT purposes, but when the IHT rules changed, she changed it to leave everything to him. Their money was 100% all "theirs" in their heads, but since some of it was in her name, some in his, and some in joint accounts, legally some of it was "hers".



Absolutely agree. Paid carers coming in several times a day were great for my mum, because my dad did the 24/7 care, and then the carers just did things like the bed bath and stuff, to take a little of the burden off his shoulders. But for someone living alone? I suppose they might be a good option in some specific cases, but in general someone who's got to the stage of needing that much care is better off not living alone. When Dad went into hospital to have his knees replaced, we didn't buy in extra care for Mum. The first time my brother went and lived with her for several weeks, and the second time she went into a home until Dad was well enough to pick up his caring responsibilities again.

I now know if i have the internet and am able to use it i'd be ok...not happy but ok, with being fed and checked on twice a day. That access may of course change for all sorts of reasons.


Although i think its notnright to have a kid to take care of you later i have to admit, when i think ahead i do worry about who will do the equivalent of online banking for dh and i, if we could not keep up with technology (hey, i fail now, and he barely copes). Or just someone to phone and check we were remembered once in a while would be nice.

PasturesNew

vivatifosi wrote: »

Does that even go someway to answering the question?

Not the answer I expected... but a completely fresh take on it. I have, actually, already started doing some of the things in your list.... I've investigated all the social groups available in the area, for going out and doing stuff.... although until this week I kind of expected the worst to happen, so hadn't invested too much time investigating the new potential area in case it all unravelled and I'd feel mightily pee'd off....

I kind of figured an answer might look more like a business model, type, plan, or something more process-driven as a response

lostinrates

vivatifosi wrote: »

Funnily enough I did look that up, but didn't post it in case it was something Pastures already knew about. But there's a bloke with an aspie blog who says that there's now networking on twitter and that suits aspies down to the ground as they can get their points across succinctly and don't have the social conventions to deal with. I don't know anything about it beyond that though.

Well, its suits aspies in someway, i can see, but it would not offer the same opportunity and developement as less intimidating rl interaction. A place that let you know getting it wrong was ok. Developing confidence and skills for similar environments not limited to aspies, those things that become career of lifestyle enhancing. ....thatfrom pn's descriptions would be terrifying because of the lack of both understandning and preparation. If there were a safe place to learn 'the rules' as a side benefit of meeting someone who would....socialise with you but expect and deliver similar communication.....

If you could convince peoe i think it could be both a success for them and the organiser.

lostinrates

PasturesNew wrote: »

Not the answer I expected... but a completely fresh take on it. I have, actually, already started doing some of the things in your list.... I've investigated all the social groups available in the area, for going out and doing stuff.... although until this week I kind of expected the worst to happen, so hadn't invested too much time investigating the new potential area in case it all unravelled and I'd feel mightily pee'd off....

I kind of figured an answer might look more like a business model, type, plan, or something more process-driven as a response

Mine is a business model.

PasturesNew

On the whole... I don't really want to mix with aspies... because they're either super-weird, or just cruising and suckling the teat of entitlement. I'd like to meet with geeky entrepreneurs I guess....

But I would like people that didn't think I was rude when I did or didn't do what they expected me to....