Nice people thread part 6 - thrice by twice as nice :)

PasturesNew

£14k cash ..... who wouldn't have one at that price!!

PasturesNew

I don't live anywhere now... I'm a nomad... without even a tent. I am of the untented nomad class

CKhalvashi

PasturesNew wrote: »

I don't live anywhere now... I'm a nomad... without even a tent. I am of the untented nomad class

I offered you our spare room and you turned me down

chewmylegoff

CKhalvashi wrote: »

I ain't Russian :mad:

I live on a council-owned road in a 5 bedroom Victorian semi, somewhere on the Herts/Essex border.

See, no posh alert, not even a private road!

CK

You don't need to be Russian to live next door to an oligarch, and as we have learnt everyone lives in greater herts!

I've got a private gated drive leading to a private garage. Posh alert!! Well it would be if I wasn't renting.

PasturesNew

CKhalvashi wrote: »

I offered you our spare room and you turned me down

Did you? Did I?
It'd be about 200 miles from where I plan on being though. If I'd planned better I should have got you to buy a nice little flatlet where I DO want to be

PasturesNew

chewmylegoff wrote: »

I've got a private gated drive leading to a private garage. Posh alert!! Well it would be if I wasn't renting.

I had a culture shock the first time I drove round Cardiff... it's ALL gated.... scarey!

misskool

am i really weird that I really really want this?
Nest learning thermostat

chewmylegoff

lostinrates wrote: »

Vent.

This is mot terribly fair one dh who never normally moans, so its an uncharacteristic portrayal. One of hos siblings is over and they met today and got !!!!!ing about how unfair fil is with the situation with the inheritance and that he has loadsamoney only half of which was ever his and how they (the kids) will never see it. And that his appartment is worth x million and he must have x more million in the bank and so on and so forth This is sibling in laws favourite and somewhat boring and ugly song. Siblings in law have no idea what a lucky life they (we) lead and how wonderful their (my) upbringing was for the opportunities it afforded us. It makes me cross.

Anyway dh got on the phone to me and tried a chorus of said song and how if we had what we should have we wouldn'mt have a mortgage and i got a bit cross. We have LOTS, and as sibling in law is having a baby i asked dh what opportunities sibling plans to offer the baby and how much of siblings money sibling plans to hand over to it. Even if its everything sibling has that is just a bout a pot to !!!! in. Which will save on nappies at least. This is because sibling in law likes to continue being a mid to late thirties adolescent in academia and has never made any provision for self and is just about to rent first appt with other parent of baby having leeched of family entire semblence of adult life. Even now, in uk to renew a visa, is staying with relatives (fair enough) and timed it to be paid for by a conference of the most disgusting waste of money in higher education. Somethink akin to beckham studies imo.

Think dh was shocked when i asked what the baby could expect from sibling if sibling seemed to think fil owes them a living, what will sibling be able to provide for the child..... (nb, i am happy about the baby and think sibling has the capacity to be a great parent without millions of pounds, i just don't think its right to expect money and live life in bitterness at not getting it and without strive to carve ones own way.)


Nb, i do think the inheritance issue is foul, and if i were them i might have considered being less nice and more forceful many years ago, but, imo, if you let it go, then you let it go, and its up to us to move on and make our own futures and our own choices.

Grrr. I think dh might have been about to ask me if he should invite sibling out for the weekend, but he didn't so i guess dh is trying to protect sibling from me. Oh well,he spent long enough protecting me from them. I only care about protecting dh from himself and those kind of grumblings are purely self limiting imo.

Phew. That feels better. Apologies for rant.

Inheritance issues are always foul. I have some of my own and used to get really wound up about it, these days I try to maintain a zen like state in the face of it all.

The way I look at it now, none of it is my money or ever has been; there is no entitlement to it. It is for the people who currently own that money to decide how to spend it, and if they decide to spend it by giving it to you that's great, but if not, well that's up to them. I certainly wouldn't feel obliged to give cash to someone (or save it so it passed to them) just because that's what was "expected", so why should I expect to receive. I try to encourage my parents to spend the money on themselves, go on some proper, expensive holidays, buy a luxury car instead of the crapbag they drive around etc.

Sibling has an entirely different view and is funnily enough an 'academic' who went on a year teaching English abroad to school kids and is still doing it 15 years later. She has never bothered to advance her career because she thinks she doesn't need to- everything will be provided for apparently.

PasturesNew

You can 'lose' what you think you'll inherit too.... you might assume "one day a piece of this will be yours", but then it's snatched away. My parents had a will leaving all theirs to each other .... the trouble was that when the first one died, the second one went out of control loopy, so now the Govt's taking it for care home fees. C'est la vie.

The dead parent assumed we'd get it all one day ..... rather than leaving us any at the time. Neither will left us any cash (we've no heirlooms/valuables). Everything went to the surviving spouse.... who then couldn't cope... and, it now looks like the survivor had had dementia for some time, hidden by the other one doing everything for them and them living within a very set routine. The one left behind was capable of only a few, oft repeated, basic functions - like getting their socks/shoes on.... actually cleaning them, for example, wasn't on the radar. They can perform functions, but not observe/reach a decision/act on that decision. They can only repeat the functions.

So I went from "small inheritance potential" to "pfft" overnight. And it's probably also cost me about £25k to be around, sort things out, etc in the past 1.5 years.

silvercar

misskool wrote: »

am i really weird that I really really want this?
Nest learning thermostat

I can't decide if it is gimmicky or really useful.