To give up work or not?

janninew

Hi All,

I'm in a dilemma at the moment and know posting on here will give my lots of opinions!

I had a baby in November and I'm planning on taking the full year off. Before I had my Daughter I always assumed that I would want to go back to work, but now I'm not so sure. My Daughter arrived just over 3 months early and spent 13 weeks in Special Care and I have a feeling this may be adding to my feelings of dread about going back to work! She is still on oxygen and due to this I haven't left her with anybody (except my hubby when I do the shopping!) and haven't been away from her for more than hour since she was discharged in February.

I've been thinking about my return to work and I'm can honestly say I'm dreading it! I love my job and have a supportive boss, I also have a Child Minder lined up who I know very well, so no problems with child care. I asked my boss if I could go back 3 days a week and he said no, but I could go back 4 days a week and have Fridays off. I work in a school and have the school holidays off, which will be ideal when my Daughter starts school.

I feel like my head is saying stay at work, I enjoy my job, have great holidays and getting a job again like I have now in a few years would be very slim. But my heart is saying enjoy the time you have with your Daughter and I feel like I should be putting her needs first especially due to her very difficulty start in life!

Money would not be an issue if I quit work as my husband earns a good salary. He is supportive in any decision I make and only wants us to be happy! In a way it would be easier if I couldn't afford to give up work as that would make the decision for me!

Help!!

Thanks for reading!

dundeediva

Hi!

I have no experiance of this myself by if i were you i would wait until later in the year. Especially if the first 3 months were in hospital (poor little mite) you haven't had the longest time with her. By the time your maternity ends you might NEED to go back for your own sanity. Then again you may decide not to return and be happy at home. Since financials don't really apply then i would wait, you never know how you'll feel until nearer the time.

Good luck whatever you decide and i hope she gets to full health soon

Mrs_Imp

If you go back to work and hate it, you can always hand in your notice and leave. If you do this though, make sure you give it about 3 months, to allow you to get used to being back at work.

I love my son, but I do find it nice to have adult, non-baby related conversation sometimes. Plus he loves being with his childminder, and it's been really good for him to know that 'Mummy is coming back for him'.

FatVonD

If you can afford not to go back to work then I think you should stay at home with your daughter (it sounds like you'd like to), you'll never get those years back again and things have a way of working themselves out, it's not the only job in the world

CH27

I'd finish if you can afford to. No point in worrying yourself sick needlessly.

Bluemeanie_2

Did you receive any form of occupational maternity pay? Just thinking, if you did, check your contract to see if it has to be paid back if you don't return (although I know you said money wasn't an issue, just thought I'd look out).

How about taking the 4 day week and then exercising your right to have 13 weeks a year leave as unpaid parental leave?

That way you still get to keep a job you like but spend a lot of time with your daughter?

janninew

Bluemeanie wrote: »

Did you receive any form of occupational maternity pay? Just thinking, if you did, check your contract to see if it has to be paid back if you don't return (although I know you said money wasn't an issue, just thought I'd look out).

How about taking the 4 day week and then exercising your right to have 13 weeks a year leave as unpaid parental leave?

That way you still get to keep a job you like but spend a lot of time with your daughter?

I did receive occupational maternity pay, not sure if I will have to pay it back or not, so thanks for pointing it out! It wouldn't be a problem to pay it back though so won't influence my decision!

I had no idea you could take 13 weeks unpaid leave a year, so will look into that.

Thanks for all the posts so far, its always interesting to get different opinions.

I think that I really just need to make a decision as I like to plan ahead and part of the 'not knowing' makes me feel more stressed!

Bluemeanie_2

You can take it unpaid generally, up to when the child is 5.

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/parents/moneyandworkentitlements/workandfamilies/parentalleaveandflexibleworking/dg_10029416

Lobsta

Bluemeanie wrote: »

Did you receive any form of occupational maternity pay? Just thinking, if you did, check your contract to see if it has to be paid back if you don't return (although I know you said money wasn't an issue, just thought I'd look out).

How about taking the 4 day week and then exercising your right to have 13 weeks a year leave as unpaid parental leave?

That way you still get to keep a job you like but spend a lot of time with your daughter?

It's not 13 weeks a year, I believe it's 13 weeks in total in their first 5 years

Bluemeanie_2

Lobsta wrote: »

It's not 13 weeks a year, I believe it's 13 weeks in total in their first 5 years

I apologise, I have just read it correctly!

OP ignore my suggestion!

Lobsta

I gave up work which was an easy decision for me as I hated my job and they were looking for volunteers for redundancy at the time I was due to go back.

I will say though that on weeks where you have nothing planned and it's just you, the kid(s) and four walls you do go a little stir crazy. You have to remember that all your friends are at work and it's not always easy to get a bit of adult conversation.

If you can afford it, do it.

If your career is important to you and will be damaged as a result of taking a few years off then stay at work, your days off will just be more special.

I would always make the decision to be a stay at home mum but only you can decide if it is right for you.
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